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Muslim women are not allowed to marry non-muslim men, but those who do are they happy or fear God or both?

I ask this question because i fell in love with a non-muslim man and i'm supposed to be muslim. I'm no longer muslim, therefore i can't marry a muslim man. However i'm considering converting back to Islam as it has taught me a good way of life, i don't think the guy will convert, but you never know and I don't want to impose on him, as it's up to him but I'll let him know about Islam. We love each other. I am in a big dilema and don't want to hurt him and i don't want to be hurt in the future if i go back to my religion and have to leave him, i'm hurting now for having to deal with this dilema. It would be worse if we have kids. Some advice and opinions would be grateful. I know that there are muslim women out there who have married non-muslim men, I would like to know how you feel about this and are you happy? How do the families of the muslim women feel about this? Do you still practice Islam to some degree and are still together with a non-muslim guy, how does it work for you?

Asked By: Knightingale Soars - 8/1/2006
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
First of all Zara, there is a little matter of where you are physically located and where do you plan to live after you are married. Where will you live with your own family for example. If you have gotten this far (without getting killed), I am going to assume that you are living in Europe or USA maybe.

Now, my question is have you tried looking into WHY there is such a rule in Islam. Why does Islam allow man to marry outside Islam but not to a woman? I think when you find out, you will have your answer. The reason is exactly the same reason you are having this little dillema in your own life and order to avoid this, Islam has this rule.

First, even muslim men can't just marry anyone. She must be either a Jew or a Christian. Second, the reason that women are not allowed to marry outside Islam is because in all of the cultures (back then AND today) including the so called enlightened and civilized western cultures, women are dominated by men. Man has the power and he gets the last say. Even in the US, women didn't get the right to vote until even after black slaves did. US has not even had a single female president or vice-president while the Islamic Republic of Pakistan and Bangladesh did. All over the world including the US and Europe, women still get paid less than men, for the same exact job, with the same exact credentials. The only industry where women make more money than men is probably modeling.

In a typical couple/family, man is the dominant one. So most likely his own views, ideas, opinions, morals, beliefs, and decisions get imposed on the womanand then on the children. If she is of another religion, there is definitely going to be some disagreement.

Religion defines your own morals and beliefs.

And then what happens when you have kids. Which religion will they follow? What will they raise up with? That's why Islam disallows it especially for women. But even for men, it is not encouraged. If the guy or the girl is willing to convert, that is the best of all. But I can understand, why you don't want to impose on him. I wouldn't want anybody imposing their religion onto me either.

Here is what I would do, go back to Islam. Ask for forgiveness from Allah and he will definitely make things better for you. He is ever so merciful. Then sit down with the guy and have a detailed discussion. Find out if there is ANY chance at all that he will convert. And if he clearly says no and he knows in his heart that he cannot do this for you love, then his love is not worth it.

If he cannot leave his religion for you, then why should you leave Allah for him. Is he really worth more to you than what Allah has to offer you?

You know it because it is very obvious from your question. You ARE anticipating difficulties in the future because of religion. Maybe not now, but then what if you have children. What will you do?

I have seen far too many couples ruined over things like this. Interreligious and interracial marriages don't work as often as we like to. Sure the idea is great and it all sounds perfect in theory. But it is a whole different story to try to LIVE it all of your life.

I am just not saying this because you are (or rather were) a Muslim. The same thing holds for other religions as well. I personally know Chrisitan/Jewish couples where the religions were different and everything fell apart. Sometimes it happened after they had kids and kids were quite old.

You were muslim. Your household is Muslim. You were born and raised in a muslim household and you have lived a muslim lifestyle. Sure for a little while you could do without it, but can you really not live the way you were raised. It can be VERY hard to let go of things you learned as a child, things your parents taught you, things you have lived with half of your life. Just think of this, do you bite nails? Or do you have another simple little habit you would like to get rid? Have you ever tried getting rid of it? If yes, then you know how hard it is to simply stop chewing your nails if you have done that since childhood.

Now take that effort and energy...and multiply it by a thousand. This is what you are going to be doing for the rest of your life. Multiply it by another thousand each time you have a child.

Can you do it?

Your and his decision to re-enter Islam must be because of the religion itself. You shouldn't have left Islam and you should most definitely not force him to convert. One can even say this agony and pain is part of the punishment for rejecting God in favor of a mere man. The guy himself also needs to look into it and he has to decide for himself. If he wants to become Muslim, he must do it out of a desire to be a Mulim.

It is not worth it. Ask him to convert. If he doesn't, then don't worry about it. There are plenty of muslims around the globe and Allah has promised a soulmate to everyone. There is someone on this world for you but pray for guidance from Allah so that he may direct you in the right direction.
Answered By: The Prince - 8/1/2006
Additional Answers ()
Who the f**k would want to marry a muslim woman not me thats for sure there to hairy mate.
Answered By: muzzystinksofshit - 8/1/2006
I think typically, it's best for people to marry in the same religion... that way, you both have the same values, especially if you start raising a family...
Answered By: arcmdark - 8/1/2006
You are a very lucky woman. If you had married a Muslim, could you tell him that you were changing religions? You will be DEAD meat. Think about it.
Answered By: Roxton P - 8/1/2006
Why would marrying out of your culture be a new thing, and why would a Muslim marrying outside of their faith be any different than a Catholic marrying a Non-Catholic, or an Atheist marrying a Methodist?

All of those situations bring their own burdens and problems. Christians who marry non-Christians are considered to be unequally yoked and the marriage is not blessed by God. So, that's probably very similar to every other faith.
Answered By: ThePeskyWabbit - 8/1/2006
The reason Muslim women were required to marry Muslim men is because their children would be raised the same religion as the father. That's why a Muslim man could marry a Christian or Jewish woman, because the kids would still be raised Muslim.

If you decide to convert back to Islam, it's probably okay that your husband is non-Muslim, so long as you raise your kids Muslim.
Answered By: lalasnake - 8/1/2006
How do the families feel about it?
http://www.debbieschlussel.com/archives/2006/07/new_islamofasci.html
Does that help to answer your question?

Since you asked for advice, this is mine. You managed to get out of Islam once...please, don't voluntarily go back into a religion that so many are dying to get away from!
You and your non-muslim man will both be happier.
Source(s):
TRUTH
Answered By: angeltress - 8/1/2006
If you marry a non-muslim guy--it's not marriage--it's ZINA or forcination. Don't do it unless the guy becomes a Muslim. But if you don't care--go for it. You will be doing the gravest sin.
If you are already married to that guy--after reconverting the marriage is nullified according to Islam and that guy becomes a stranger.
Answered By: whynotaskthemoron - 8/1/2006
There are many more religions than Islam that will teach you a good way of life and will still let you into eternal paradise without marrying a muslim man. I'm christian, but don't let me impose my religion on you. All christianity offers is eternal life by only accepting Jesus Christ as the Son of God and your savior from your sins.
On another note, it seems that you need to answer a spiritual an philosophical question about your faith. Are you really satisfied with Islam or do you search for something else. What do you believe yourself, not what you're told to believe. Do you believe that you should be able to marry regardless of faith? These and other questions will be the only way to make an informed decision. Use logic and reason. They trancend faith as God or Allah or whoever created us gave us logic and reason to be used.
Good luck and Christ's blessings.
Answered By: es_harper2007 - 8/1/2006
It all depends on what IQ level you both are. Few of my friends who have married inter-religiously, are finding it absolutely alright to practice their individual religions without one hurting the other. It requires great deal of maturity and understanding. Also, it is important which Country are they in. I am in India, and here, Jews have married Catholics. Muslims have married Hindus.
Hindus have married Protestants. Sunni has married a Shea. All living happily without any problem. But this is not possible in a fanatic country.
Answered By: tnkumar1 - 8/1/2006
I think everyone should marry within there own religion, if possible. It saves alot of unnecessary drama when it comes to practicing your religion and raising the children. We don't need any mixed children out there. As far as you re-accepting Islam, I am all for it... don't let anyone change your mind or discourage you. Just talk to your bf and see if he's gonna convert... i not just talk to your family and think it over. Whats more important your religion or some guy!!! And whi=o said because your no longer Muslim you can't marry a Muslim. Thats completely untrue. I know many Muslim men married to non- muslim women. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) actually married a non- muslim women. If you have any questions or if you need support feel free to email me!!!
Answered By: saraahlang2001 - 8/1/2006
Don't convert back to Muslim unless you believe whole heartedly that Allah is the only true God and Islam's teachings. If you don't believe then take the values that you have learned from it and raise your children with them. If you do decide to convert and he doesn't then it will take it's toll on the marriage but it is can still succeed. My husband is a Christian and I have no belief in God. We get into occasional arguments but one thing that will come from having two separate beliefs with our child is religious tolerance. Our child will be able to learn about different religions and choose for himself what the truth is. He will have his own beliefs but accept that some people do not agree and that is OK. If you love him then give it a try. When you throw children into the picture things get harder but if you think you can do it and you have a plan then go for it. Religion should have no hold on politics or on love. email me if you want to talk suzanneKumaraswamy@yahoo.com
Answered By: 20mommy05 - 8/1/2006
Hey there, i see a lot of muslim woman here in america marry a non muslim man. one reason a muslim woman are not allowed to marry non muslim because on a couple its usually the the guy religion will be the religon of the family then the bride has to convert to his. as long as you stay in your faith i dont think theres are wrong in marrying non muslim. just don be converted. your kids would likely be a Christian especially if they grow in America but if teach to them Islam from once a while and slowly. by the time they turn 18 they might be converted to Islam. i know some family like this. i think nothing wrong with a couple different of religions as long as they respect each other although all religions highly recommmend to marry the person with the same faith.
Answered By: Chris - 8/1/2006
In the Quran u have one chance to return back to Islam. how can you throw urself in the Hell because of a man?

this man will not help you out when u face the moment of truth (death).
Answered By: hfghsshgsfg - 8/1/2006
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