Approach Bill Gates, and say "I bet you 5 million dollars, that I can stand on top of that bar, (you're in a bar), piss all over it, and the bar tender will be happy." When Mr. Gates agrees, you approach the bar tender, and bet him/her you can piss in a glass at the other end of the bar. The money you bet is going to be a decent amount, but something you already have. Then get up on the bar, and get it everywhere except in the glass. hop down, collect your money from Mr. Gates, then pay the bar tender.
Either that or take out a loan from the mop, and skip town...
I guess you could buy a lotto ticket, and do a lot of praying.
Pick up 100,000,000 cans, or 50,000,000 beer bottles...
Get a old dilapidated house you won't have to pay for, work like 5 jobs and never sleep, convince others that they want to be like you, and then sell the story to Hollywood.
Get hired on to be the print operator for any one of the machines that makes money... You will have easily made 5 million in a week, if that.
You can also do something like this... http://oneredpaperclip.blogspot.com/
Best of luck to you.