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How can a 17 year old guarantee that he'll get hired?

This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny! NAME: Greg Bulmash SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely. SIGN HERE: Aries.

Asked By: suesysgoddess - 4/24/2007
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
This application shows a lot of guts and great imagination. I would hire him in a second with his personality. It shows that he is a great "people" person, and he would be a great asset to McDonalds. It also shows that he can think outside of the box, and reminds me a lot of myself.
Answered By: john p - 4/24/2007
Additional Answers (9)
It's McDonalds, they hire anyone
Answered By: helpmeplease - 4/24/2007
 
HAHA! that's funny!
Answered By: Kat - 4/24/2007
 
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes. SIGN HERE: Aries omg lol nutcase
Answered By: caroline - 4/24/2007
 
Crack me up!
Answered By: jillo4113 - 4/24/2007
 
LOL! Gd one!!!
Answered By: Trustee - 4/24/2007
 
Thats GOOD!!! I'd hire him in a minute.
Answered By: KATSROD - 4/24/2007
 
that was funny! lol yes i would probably hire him because of his personality!!!
Answered By: malibu29130 - 4/24/2007
 
very imaginative and funny.
Answered By: Andrew H - 4/24/2007
 
lmao, that was hilarious The "Sign here: Aries" was the icing on the cake
Answered By: Money Mike - 4/24/2007
 
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