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My brother-in-law's 16 year old son does not heed to anyone. Please advise how to correct his behaviour.?

He does not attend school. He has passion for good cars. He is happy if he is driving cars.He does not listen to his dad. He is sober with his mom and sister but does not obey them. He is happy in moving around . At home he is lazy and watches TV. He is not serious for studies or any job.

Asked By: Thomas - 6/8/2007
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
You need to incorporate his love of cars into a career. The age of 16 is very different that 17 and 18. The military is not the place for somebody that won't take orders or pick up after himself. This is a common mistake of many parents. If he joins the army, and quits (goes AWOL) he will end up in jail.
Also, stop nagging him and making him beg for every morsel of food and ounce of affection he wants.
Answered By: Irish Rider - 6/11/2007
Additional Answers ()
I fear it is absolutely too late to start discipline with this person. He was either allowed to do whatever he wanted, at an early age OR his first "testing of the boundaries" his parents completely caved. Children need boundaries, guidance, a good strong example, and consistency.

The TV should be removed from the home, or he should be denied access. Ask the school guidance counselor if there are legal steps which can be taken to force him to stay in school or to correct his inexcusable behavior.

If he starts to come around, try to decide his interests - would he benefit from a martial arts class, can you enroll him in an internship as a mechanic, through school? Are their after school clubs/organizations which he can join?

He sounds bored and un-challenged.
Answered By: yoak - 6/13/2007
Send his butt 2 boot camp!

if the parents can't afford it, ask for help from the legal system

If, at 16, he doesn't obey, he will only become worse- crack it in the bud NOW
Answered By: MAR - 6/12/2007
Kick his lazy aaass to the curb not in school, emancipate him
Answered By: phil - 6/12/2007
Boot camp! talk him into joining the army- it will straighten him out!
Answered By: melaniecampbell - 6/8/2007
Have them send him to a correctional school, he is still his parents problem till he is 18. They need to fix this problem before he starts to get out of control or in trouble and then his parents will be to blame.
Answered By: Trinidy - 6/8/2007
Well if his parents aren't interested in correcting his behaviour, there is little you can do in that respect.
What you could try is to act as his mentor in a neutral way, stressing that you only want what is best for him and are willing to guide him toward making positive choices in his life. But you have an obligation to speak with his parents about it first. Good luck.
Answered By: Lyn - 6/8/2007
A friend of our's was in the same situation and they found him a job in a car yard learning how to detail the cars and once he got his license he was able to move them around and wash them so they were presentable for sale amongst heaps of other things. Some kids just aren't interested in school and may aswell be out working and learning something that interests them aswell as earning some money. Teenage years are awful, i remember them only too well myself
Answered By: Jordyn K - 6/8/2007
Give him a wake up call. If he doesn't want to listen to anyone , that is just fine but he should be told either he plays by the rules of the house or when he turns 18 or he will get one of 4 choices : 1. Army 2. Navy 3. Air Force 4 Marines.
He might get the idea then.
Answered By: mntazzy - 6/8/2007
In the state of Florida, you lose your license until you're 18 if you drop out of school. Too bad they didn't have this where you live. As a mother who's been there with her son in a similar situation of not listening, there's really not a whole lot you can do. You are not his mother or father. This is their responsibility. They are allowing him to not go to school and just watch tv. So as long as he's allowed, he's going to continue to do it. If his passion is good cars, then someone he respects and will listen to needs to sit down with him and let him know that if his dream is to work with cars, then he's going to have to get some kind of knowledge on the subject to work with them. And why not take away his car until he gets a job? I've taken my son's car away from him where he had to ride the bus to work. He didn't like it, but I got my point across. His parents need to enforce tough love on him. It's not fun, but it works and will allow him to have a future instead of being a couch potato. And as for people suggesting the military.. he can't go if he's a drop out and I highly doubt he'd want to go. This is a free country and you can't force someone to enter the military.
Source(s):
Mother of an 18 year old with many problems and wife of a retired marine.
Answered By: 2Beagles - 6/8/2007
Did they sign him out of school? If not I suggest they talk to the courts about what they call a chins order. They will set strict rules for him to adhere to. If he complies it goes no further, if he does not than he has to appear before the judge and justify his actions to the judge. It works. Check it out. I went through it with my daughter. She met a boy. Then she started not obeying the rules. Smoking pot and cigarettes was also an issue. She would be given a time to be home and she would not comply. She once did not even come home. I put the chins order on and she did not comply. She had to face the judge. They have many options not available to us as parents. Also, do it soon. Even the courts options will be limited as he gets older, and remember it is for his own good. Good luck, i know how hard it can be.
Answered By: janine b - 6/8/2007
He needs to become a race car driver. You can ask almost any of them if that sounds like them when they were young. People with his problem can become great people or they become criminals. It all depends where you have them channel it. I would push the race car issue and have him build and modify his own car. When he is old enough, take it to a local amateur track and race it.
But he does need to be in school. If the parents did not give permission for him to leave, he will be truant. That's a problem.
Answered By: Renny - 6/8/2007
Sounds like he's a normal 16 year old. All they can really do is hope that they have instilled the right values in him and that he will grow out of this phase once he realises the consequences of his behaviour.
Answered By: RD12 - 6/8/2007
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