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What do I do about an ex who is stalking me?

I have an ex who is harassing me. I really don't want to get the police involved because the attention he gets from that will more than likely satisfy him because we will have to go to court and he will get to see me. I have changed my phone number and have ignored all his phone calls, text messages, ims for the past year. We were together for 5 years but he is still not over me. I told him that I would get the police involved and file for harassment, but he is not doing or saying anything physically dangerous. He told me to go ahead and do it. In connecticut, he would only get a class c misdimeanor and getting a chance to be involved with me would be worth it to him. I have no idea what to do. I can't move. I have a good job. He texts me like 20 times a day and calls me at least 10 times a day. I never pick up. This has been going on since we broke up and we've been apart for 2.5 years. I just want him to leave me alone and I don't think time will do it. I have changed my numbers and he doesnt bother me for a while until he finds out the new one. He will just sit outside my work and wait for me. He is not violent or threatening and not calling for sex.

Asked By: <3 - 6/27/2007
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
A TRO(Temporary Restraining Order) is nothing more than a slip of paper that says that he can not be near you. This has never stopped anyone before but it gives you the ability to use the police as a "stain" remover! The TRO will give the police the ability to arrest him for violation of order... More
Answered By: Daniel F - 6/27/2007
Additional Answers (21)
Have your brother go kick his a.s.s
Answered By: steven c - 6/27/2007
 
How can he call you or text you if youve changed your phone numbers? You could start listing his phone number in all the gay websites, so he can see what it feels like to be harrassed for sex and unwelcome attentions. Or if that fails you need to send around some pipe hittin nigg@z if you catch my drift.
Answered By: freezinnesian - 6/27/2007
 
you ahve to get a restraint order. That way you will never have to see him again!!! HAHAHA. Makes sure he isnt on Yahoo answers though.
Answered By: UltimaFenrir28 - 6/27/2007
 
If you don't want to get the cops involved then there is not much you can do. Just make sure you always lock your doors, change your cell phone number so he can't text you, you can go to your cell phone provider and have him blocked so he can't call or text you, always keep mace or something on you when you are out in... More
Answered By: sexyvamp303 - 6/27/2007
 
get your new boy friend to kick his a.s.s. or get a new boy friend my girl was being bugged and I told him to stop and he dident and I kicked his a.s.s.
Answered By: Adrian - 6/27/2007
 
Since it has been going on so long you need to take legal action though you dont want to. You can have a lawyer appear in court with a statement from you if you dont want to face him...though it is better to speak for youself so they can charge him with harrassment if he tries to get to you in court... More
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Answered By: buffy5455 - 6/27/2007
 
"get to see me" if he is stalking isn't he seeing you?
Answered By: RAY N - 6/27/2007
 
carry a gun
Answered By: mike b - 6/27/2007
 
2.5 years and you're still letting him do this?? You have to report him to the police, and get a restraining order! You may not think so... but he's still controlling part of your life. Take back your life! Until you do, it slowly WILL escalate.
Answered By: donnaishere2001 - 6/27/2007
 
I would have gotten a restraining order 2.4 years ago. He knows that you wont go to the cops. You have threatened enough. Now take some action and let him know that you are serious.
Answered By: tinytot - 6/27/2007
 
Show him you mean business!!! Call him and have a long talk tell him it's time to move on. When that doesn't work which in his case I am sure it won't get a restraining order, purchase some pepper spray that can fit on a keychain so if he ever sneaks up on you, you'll be prepared then get all of your numbers change... More
Answered By: Romance - 6/27/2007
 
That's extreme behavior. You don't know what he may be capable of. You really need to go to the authorities.
Answered By: tttplttttt - 6/27/2007
 
Why not try the court if you really bug out with the guy. You can try applying for a restraining order, the idea is to forbid him to come near you within 100 meters sort of, or have any physical contact with him within the specific order of the court and the county you are in. I donot know if there is one in your State... More
Answered By: reynaldo v - 6/27/2007
 
Any best case scenario must involve the police, in a report made by you and a visit to your county court house, to have a restraining order issued. One key fact you want to utilize though... More
Answered By: onedraco_eleven - 6/27/2007
 
You might see if the phone company can block his number. Your options are limited, you need some kind of intervention. Check with a lawyer and see if you have any recourse for harassment. But I honestly think you will need to get the police and the court involved with this. Hang in there and Good Luck!
Answered By: rklee0122 - 6/27/2007
 
While I understand that you don't want to get the police involved I would involve the courts. File for a restraining order on the basis of his harassment. It doesn't require threats or violence to file for this order. In Connecticut, violation of such an order is a Class D Felony punishable by up to five years in... More
Answered By: yn_tennison - 6/27/2007
 
start creating records. i would keep notes of when he calls / what he says. go to police with records / make an incident report. give copy of incident report to phone company / they should let you change your number for free. get a restraining order in place. if he comes near you, call police immed. they will pick... More
Answered By: Mildred S - 6/27/2007
 
Get a lawyer to go to court for you... More
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Answered By: xxpat 1 - 6/27/2007
 
It's all about documentation. Keep his text messages and voice messages in your phone. When leaving work have someone walk out with you every day so that you have a witness to his presence at your work. It would also be helpful if your place of employment had cameras at the doorway that you exit and enter so that there... More
Answered By: S P - 6/27/2007
 
The best thing for you to do is to go to the police and get a restraining ordr put against him. Change your number and make sure it's listed as private and that you don't give it everyone you know cause they may without trying to do you any harm accidently give him your number and the whole things starts over again... More
Answered By: scooby5_us - 6/27/2007
 
Start documenting every time he makes contact with you and under what circumstances he does it. Send him a certified letter (or better yet have an attorney do it so he knows you mean business) asking him to leave you completely alone. If he does it after that, call the police. Believe it or not, they are really... More
Answered By: lillllbit - 6/27/2007
 
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