How to deal with having a job and keeping up a house?

	How to deal with having a job and keeping up a house? I have been suffering with depression for 6 years now..I finally have a full time job but recently my doctor cut my hours to 24..I cant handle a job and keeping my house clean and such..I dont know how people do it..I am on cymbalta, lorazepam, and a week ago he added depakote...I just get so overwhelmed I never get anything done and i just want to lie in bed..DOes anyone else go through this daily like me? Asked By: volleychick2636 - 7/21/2007

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I'm sorry, but I feel Md's just give out meds without thinking about the adverse reactions to them. My MD has me on so many. I'm supposed to take 30 pills a day. I took myself off a lot of them. I don't have the problems you do, my problems are physical, not mental but I still hate taking all these meds. I turned to herbs and I feel so much better. They're all natural and there are herbs for everything. These meds you're on will make you very tired. It's no wonder you feel overwhelmed and want to be in bed. I hope you get better. Take one day at a time. I used to work 80 hrs a wk. manage a home, take care of 4 children and a husband and kept my house clean. Bottom line, I didn't get much sleep but then again, I'm am super hyper. Good luck Cymbalta is giving for major depression and the main side effect is drowsiness,Ativan (Lorazepan) is for the management of anxiety disorders associated with depression. Major side effect, drowsiness, sedation, dizziness, weakness etc. Depakote is used for bi-polar disorders, migrains, epilepsy. Used for treatment of of manic episodes associated with bi-polar. Most common side effect, drowsiness. Your doc put you on all meds that would cause you to have these feelings. I would think twice about taking all of these. Maybe 1 of them. My best advice, get a second opinion. I believe this is too much. only my opinion though. think about it and think about herbs instead. Answered By: Memere RN/BA - 7/29/2007

Additional Answers ()

I know exactly what you're going through. It's like you are so overwhelmed you don't know where to start. I haven't done my dishes since Wednesday. Answered By: Girly Girl - 7/29/2007

My wife has similar symptome due to a hormone imbalance. Answered By: Criket - 7/29/2007

Get off of depakote this will turn you into a zombie .get with your doc. depakote is old news .as far as cleaning if i was sitting down then got up lets say ...to go to the restroom ..i would pick things up that were out of order to and from where i was going .a little can go a long way and i was headed that way anyway... Answered By: HILT - 7/29/2007

I suffer from depression. I work 32 hours in the field of mental health and I am married with children. I take Lithium and Lexapro. I sleep most of the day when I am not at work. There are moments when I have a little energy but not often. My husband tells me to exercise. I understand what you are going through. Can you ask family to help? It seems to be a constant struggle. Depression can be so awful. I would love to exchange numbers or email addresses, maybe we can be a support for each other. Also some of the medications can cause you to feel more tired but please stay on them because it is important to your wellness. I know the Lithium I take is one of them but it helps to control my moods. L Answered By: L P - 7/28/2007

Our short lives in the physical world is not easy. Think of life as an exercise where you must go through the work it takes to survive, knowing that one day, the battle will be over, and you will have victory in the new world. Answered By: Guy E - 7/26/2007

Higher a made Answered By: araya - 7/21/2007

Don't clean so much. Answered By: Tim B - 7/21/2007

You just need to balance your time. There are many people who work during the week and make Saturday their official cleaning day. Saturday, or whatever day you're off from work, becomes the day that everything gets done around the house, the cleaning, laundry, bathrooms, changing bed sheets, etc. During the work week you can limit any kind of cleaning to simple maintenence cleaning. For example, doing dishes and cleaning up spills. Answered By: the crusader - 7/21/2007

WORLD DURING THE WEEK AND CLEAN HOUSE ON THE WEEKEND THEREFORE YOU DON'T WORRY AND GET OVERWHELMED W/ HOUSE WORK THE HOUSE IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE BUT YOU NEED THE HRS TO GET MONEY TO LIVE GET YOU HRS BACK YOU AN DO THIS JUST DO WHAT YOU CAN DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK IF THEY CAN'T UNDERSTAND DON'T STRESS THEN YOU DON'T NEED THEM AS FRIENDS DON'T OVER DO YOUR SELF A LITTLE AT TIME IS GOOD THEN RELAX "ROME WASN'T BUILD IN A DAY" MAYBE YOU DON'T NEED THIS MEDICATION TRY DOING WITHOUT IT I'LL BE YOU CAN DO IT GO FOR IT...........................................YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT TO DO IF YOU BUT YOUR MIND TO IT............... Answered By: kitty - 7/21/2007

Alot of ppl seem to manage the balance of work & home life but when you have depression its a different matter - I really understand the being overwhelmed by things I have the same prob. things are just to much & little things like cleaning my teeth & having a shave seem to much - I have had depression for a number of years & often feel like giving up but I havent. I try & manage just a day at a time take all the prescribed meds regular & persevere Im sure theres lots of men & women who have the same problem you certainly arent alone. Answered By: David J - 7/21/2007

I am so sorry you have to go through this. It must be awful for you. I think it is to much medication. Sounds like the pills in combination my make you more tired than you need to be. It seems that these meds aren't doing what they need to do for you. Perhaps it would be a good idea to talk to someone about changing them to something that would work better for you and make you less tired. Good luck to you. Answered By: Meenamae - 7/21/2007

You are not alone. I have a full time job, full time family, required monthly travel, and about 20 hours of writing required on top of my 40 hours. I am tired beyond words some days, and yes the dishes do pile up. Don't be afraid to get a different doctor in order to re-evaluate you for a second opinion, but whatever you do, continue all meds as prescribed. There is nothing more important in your life than getting to the bottom of your depression. Six years is a long time, so let's start today with taking things one step at a time. Do a little bit at once. Keep certain areas of the house spotless at all times (for sanity). Limit children and messes to one or two areas. Have one spot in your house for peace. Clean your kitchen, make sure there are clean socks and underware. Make sure everyone brushed their teeth and took a shower. Say wonderful positive things to your children and praise them for every single solitary thing that do that you can point out in the positive. (If they picked up one dish, don't tell them about the other 10, just cheer for the one they did do.) As you cheer them on and only talk to them about what they do in the positive, they will do more. Be frank if they can understand, if you are at your limit. It is okay to say: I am tired tonight. Sometimes I pin a letter to my back that says: Mom had a rough day, unless you have icecream or cash, please come back tomorrow. The kids laugh their butts off. I put signs around the house on post it pads: Please put me back in the drawer, I miss being with the other shirts. I want to go in the shoe closet with the coats and hats. Please put the toilet seat down. (A pile of cleaning supplies dropped off on their video game system or computer (this can include dad) with a note, don't play until this is taken care of) etc. In the mean time, cut yourself some slack, concentrate on being at peace and DO NOT retreat to your room. Take your house back, it is okay if noone listens to you. No one ever listens to their mom. Just praise and repeat, praise and repeat. As long as they ate, brushed, showered and had clean underware, screw the rest of it. After really large projects, I take everyone out to dinner or to the beach or play a board game. (These examples could be changed for dates with spouse.) Out of everything that is most important is you communicating to your family what you can and cannot handle and when. Set boundaries and speak up (yes again and again if they don't listen) Be creative with how you communicate, but don't feel like there is no hope. Make a huge announcement that changes are being made. Declare certain rooms as dirt free. Declare certain times for question or peace. (I will answer all questions on Tuesday. Sorry guys - it is Monday.) Declare certain times for yourself, and time for them. If they junk things up in your dirt free zone, move the items in a pile on somthing that would bother them like their beds, video games, etc. One day I got so mad after asking my husband to put away laundry or dishes, I don't remember which, and he said in a minute for the third day in a row, that I picked them all up, and put them in the driver's seat of his car. (I was scared at the time, but just fed up.) He came out of the garage on the way to work, just fuming and yelling. I told him his second was up three days ago. A house cannot run with only one person running it, so stop making it all your job and relax. Break routine leave (wouldn't the house just sit with their jaw hanging open?) tell them you'll be back when the living room is clean. Call you. Do whatever you have to in order to end feeling like you are alone. I absolutely love what I do at work (when my board isn't complaining, our Board President doesn't want me to drop everything that minute to write a letter that should take an hour, but I have 15 minutes. It is fantastic work, when projects go well, planned events are funded, I made enough money to have 50cents left over, my co-workers weren't acting like monsters and my clients were not constantly being the biggest pains in the butt!! Outside of that - my job is the best - and my kids.... the ones who talk back, leave things out, eat too much, run and hide to junk up another area of the house when I tell them to clean the first one...they are the best too. I won't bother with an update on the spouse and dog. You are probably all wrong about being overwhelmed and depressed. Kick your heels up and stop feeling alone. It's all about outlook, not circumstance. Screw everyone else - that's right I said it. Screw them and start thinking about you. Answered By: Shelle - 7/21/2007

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