What is a grown man to do with such a cantankerous parent?

My folks moved to Southern Cali 18 months ago to be close to their only grandchildren (my kids), better climate, and because we had a home we could rent to them super cheap. We left it fully furnished for them, and recently got them a new A/C and water heater. Things couldn't be better, right? Wrong! My father has always been a difficult man, and he is being difficult yet again at the property. My in-laws live in the front house, and as accommodating as they are willing to be, he still has attitude. He is now claiming that I have abandoned him despite all we have provided him, and I visit him about once a week. I have a job, a major church responsibility, a home of my own to maintain, and a wife and kids to tend to. Now he gets rude with people that visit my in-laws when they're not there, makes inappropriate, untrue remarks of people getting in his mail or his space, and clings to my mom like a two year-old. How do I deal with this? What could finally satisfy him? Back 2 NY? He won't go out to make friends, he thinks it silly to hang out at senior rec centers or go to counseling, and he complains that his health limits him. Now there he does have a point, but he can still walk vigorously and help around the house. He's so much of a homebody that his days will naturally be longer for being cooped up in there.

Asked By: RickNY - 8/21/2007
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I think you need to put yourself in your dad's shoes for a minute- think of how it would feel to be that old, and used to a certain routine in a totally different environment...then you're moved across the country, to an unfamiliar place, where you only know your son and his family...and only see them once a week... More
Answered By: Future MRS. - 8/21/2007
Additional Answers (3)
He is unwell. You need to detach from him ( unless he was always this way) mentally and perhaps have a psych consult. Dont let it get to you and do not change your routine for your own family. you are too nice.
Answered By: barthebear - 8/21/2007
Nothing will ever satisfy him. You have people like that.his age could have something to do with it too.If he is like in his 70's he could be getting dementia.Your best bet is to stay away from him and stop letting him upset u.The main thing is u know how much u have done for him so the rest is on him.Good luck
Answered By: sweet_thing_kay04 - 8/21/2007
i don't know yet
Answered By: Tonya O - 8/21/2007
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