Why is it that a stay at home parents job is looked at as being inferior?

	Why is it that a stay at home parents job is looked at as being inferior? Why do people think that if a parent stays home with their children that they "have it easy" compared to a "real job"? Asked By: ea1825 - 10/10/2007

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I am a stay at home mom. I love my job. Contrary to what some people may say, it is a real job - you are raising your children and managing a household. However, I used to be (up until about a year ago) a working mom. And, honestly, I have found that now that I'm staying home, I do have it a lot easier. When I was working full time outside the home, it was horrible. It was hectic all of the time, and it was always rush rush rush rush rush and bust my butt all day at work at a full time job outside of the home, only to get off of work and have to go home and do another fulltime job there in a fraction of the time that stay at home parents had to do it. I would get up at 3:45 a.m., rush to shower, get dressed, eat breakfast. At 4:00 a.m., I would get the kids up, dress them, feed them, scramble to get diaper bags packed. 4:45 a.m., load the kids in the car, drive for 30 minutes in heavy traffic to the babysitters 5:15 a.m. - drop kids off at baby sitter's (feeling horribly guilty) 5:45 a.m. - arrive at work, rush to clock in. 6:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. - bust my butt at my job (nursing) outside the home all day, dealing with crap from bosses, doctors, co-workers, patients, paperwork, and a ton and a half of stress. 5:00 p.m. clock out, rush to baby sitter's to pick up my crying kids. 5:40 p.m. arrive home after a hellish 40 minute car ride in rush hour traffic with screaming kids. Rush rush rush rush ( over a two hour time period) to make supper, set the table, do the dishes, sweep, vaccum, clean, do laundry, yard work, run errands, get groceries, spend 15 to 20 minutes with the kids (usually spent giving baths), put them to bed, and then wake up a few hours later only to do the whole hellish, hectic routine over again. Now that I am a stay at home mom, I am able to relax a little. I don't have a boss or annoying co workers, no deadlines, no crabby patients. I am able to spend as much time with my children as I want. A typical day in the life for me staying at home is this: 6:30 a.m. or 7:30 a.m. - wake up, take a nice shower, eat breakfast at leisure, get dressed. 8:00 or 8:30 - the kids wake up, I get them up, dressed and feed them an unrushed, unhurried breakfast. 9:15 a.m. - throw in a load of laundry, play with my kids, straighten up the house, maybe go to playgroup. 12:00 p.m. - make lunch for the kids and feed them or if we need to run some errands, we drive into town to meet their daddy for lunch , and buy groceries and run errands. After lunch is playtime - we go to the park, read books, play with toys, sing silly songs, play games, play outside (right now they're all about jumping in piles of leaves - lol!) 3:00 is naptime (usually, unless they don't want to take a nap that day). During this time I finish up laundry, deep clean the house, and have some ME time (a totally new concept - didnt' have that at ALL when I was working full time outside the home). 4:30 or 5:00 p.m. - kids wake up from naps. They play while I make supper, which is ready when my husband comes home. After supper, I wash dishes and then we have unrushed time to actually spend together as a family. It's wonderful. I love it. And yes, compared to working two full time jobs (one inside the home and one outside the home) - I do have it easy compared to the way it used to be when I worked full time, and compared to working parents. I love it and wouldn't trade it for the world. Count your blessings! It's easy to get discouraged sometimes and to get "sucked into the vortex" of "it's so stressful here at home and people don't think this is a real job and on and on and on" I've never though that for a minute but I can see why some people feel that way- remember - your worst day as a stay at home mom is still 10 times better than your best day at the office! Chin up and good luck! God bless! Edit - it just amazes me at some of the other answers on here. I'm a stay at home mom and I have a ton of respect for working moms. They are up before the crack of dawn, many to be TO WORK by 6:00 a.m. (as I used to have to do), that means being up by 3:30 a.m. to get the kids up and ready as well as yourself. Their day doesn't end when they clock out as one answerer assumed - it STARTS when they clock out - that's when working parents have to go home and do another full time job in a fraction of the time. When I worked, I was lucky if I got to bed before 11:00 p.m. And as for this "stay at home moms are always on call 24/7" - yeah but hello - so are working moms and not only for their kids, but for their jobs too! Who do you think stays up with a working parent's sick kid all night? THE WORKING PARENT! And guess what - daycares don't take sick kids. As I said before I stay home, and you know what, a working parent's job is never easy. They do everything a stay a t home parent does, they just have to do it in a fraction of the time plus they have to do their full time gig outside the home on top of that! Answered By: ~Mrs. GM2~ - 10/10/2007

Additional Answers ()

I personally don't think it's easy to stay home. I stayed home w/ my son this summer~ although it was enjoyable @ times, I found it to be mentally draining. My advice to you: Don't worry about what other people think. Source(s): Proud Mother & Teacher:) Answered By: marsh - 10/10/2007

That's easy-we don't get paid, so therefore it's not a real job. Try being a guy and being the one that stays home. you wouldn't believe the comments I get. Answered By: black_manta@sbcglobal.net - 10/10/2007

The only people who really say that are people who have never done it. :) Just like people who think politicians, for one example, do nothing but shake hands and go to fancy dinners...ha. I've worked for a politician, before my SAHM life...it's an 18 hour a day, 7 day a week job. Another example - people who think that firefighters spend most of their time at the firehall eating and watching TV, and then going to the occasional fire. Bah! I'm married to one...not true. Some people have trouble understanding something they've never done first hand. Answered By: My3Boys - 10/10/2007

It is just the jealousy and guilt that working parents have. Answered By: WI MOM - 10/10/2007

Because most SAHMs seem to judge working moms and tell them they aren't really parents. I was a SAHM for 3 years. I work now. It was so much easier as a SAHM because now that I am working, I have all the duties as a SAHM plus the duty of bringing in money. Answered By: mable3691214 - 10/10/2007

Girl please. People do not realize how much work it is to be a stay at home parent. It is hard work. I use to stay home with my kids and my kids do not listen. Especially my 5 yr old. So when my husband came home from work, he was very sympathetic because I worked harder than he did and I wasent getting paid. lol But somebody had to do it. And as a parent, it was my responsibility to get it done while my husband worked. And to add to it, I was working on my degree....still am. I didnt have it easy and still dont. But I love my kids and dont regret having them. To: Do your own thinking, I would love to introduce your lips to my as s. Do your own thinking? Who pays you to think? Answered By: airforce_wife - 10/10/2007

Well I stay at home with four children all under the age of five. You are right people don't consider it a real job, but they are wrong cause when you are a stay at home parent or even a parent that works your job is 24/7. Those who think its not a job or that its easy just haven't done it cause there's nothing easy about being a parent specially one who's home all the time. It is a job a lot harder than those who go to work at times. I wouldn't worry about what others think cause they are wrong and you know it. Also there was a survey that was done last year that did job pays and what people got payed the most. It was shown that stay at home moms or dads if given a pay would be the richest people alive. So look at it this way we don't get payed money and if we did we would be rich. But we do get payed with the fact that we are raising are children not someone else and you get to see first hand mild stones and not hearing them from others. So enjoy Answered By: singer_dolphin - 10/10/2007

Anyone who has had a child, and stayed on maternity leave or family leave for 3 months or more gets a real taste of a stay at home parent's grind stone. My husband kept our two oldest for a weekend the first time I went to a retreat and testified to every friend that he did not envy me my job, no matter how late it seemed I might sleep in. Now with a 3rd child (2 yrs) and homeschooling people seem to think I have nothing to do. School is disrupted by phone calls from friends whose kids have now left home for school, or church committees needing extra volunteers. Oh yeah they completely miss the boat. Truthfully though, no one gets what we do but us. They don't understand why we feel like talking with a group of adults is the best treat ever! Remember for them if they forget the Today show tabulated what a SAHM, or SAHD was worth in terms of today's market and the annual salary would be around $120,000.00. Hey I'd trade any job for that pay and these rewards on any day. Laugh it up. Enjoy your kids, and then wow them with how cool a job you really have! Source(s): http://www.discussionforums.us/forum/showthread.php?p=43769 Answered By: lizzil32 - 10/10/2007

Because this countrys backwards in a lot of ways ! Answered By: Carly J - 10/10/2007

This is SUCH a pet peeve of mine. Both my siblings have children and are working parents. They tend to talk down to me because i am a stay at home parent. My sister told me once i didn't have any right to complain about my husband because i didn't have a "real job" I have the up most respect for working parents, i don't see how they manage to balance everything. My day starts well before dawn and ends after midnight every single day. My husband is an over the road truck driver so I'm alone caring for our children much of the tI'me. There are days that im still in my pajamas because I've been so busy with my kids that i haven't had time to get dressed, eat or shower. LOL today is a good day, I'm actually dressed with my hair fixed! I don't think people realize that in a household where there is a stay at home parent, the working parent does a lot less chores around the home than a 2 working parent household. I would love to be able to sit and watch TV all day or be able to actually eat a whole meal with out hopping up and down 10 times! d**n, if i don't have a real job then what do i do all day long? LOL Source(s): SAHM to 2 wonderful blessings! Answered By: llllll_amanda_lllllll - 10/10/2007

The number of stay-at-home parents on here with literacy problems isn't helping much... Parenting should NOT be a job for people with too few skills to do anything else, but that's not a real popular sentiment in some places. Why shud i has to go colleage 2 b mummy? (edit: hey, thumbs-downers: I AM an at-home mum) Answered By: Do your own thinking! - 10/10/2007

They think it is inferior because they have never stayed home and tried it themselves. They don't realize that we are the ones staying home cleaning up after these lazy people. My job starts at 6:30 a.m. and ends at 9 p.m. How long does there day-job last??? Answered By: Grandma of 2 - 10/10/2007

I don't think that it is "inferior" to work at home, I just think that they aren't as challenged because they don't have to balance a life outside the home with a life inside the home. Sure they feed their children once more a day than working moms do (lunch), and they play with their children more, and spend more time teaching them and putting them down for naps. But those of us who work outside the home, do the same amount of housework, the same amount of cooking, same laundry, and do the same amount of errands... we just have to balance doing all of that after we've already worked 8 hours+ a day. And then we're also challenged to fit that extra play time, extra teaching, and extra love into each one of our days because we are forced or choose to work outside the home. Edit Those of us who work outside the home get up just as early, or earlier, and go to bed just as late. Stay at moms are foolish if they think we're sleeping in or something... Answered By: amber 18 - 10/10/2007

Easy...because they have never stayed at home to raise kids before. There is absolutely no job more important than raising children to be well rounded, respectable human beings. Don't even justify it with an answer. It's not worth getting upset over. Answered By: luckylady - 10/10/2007

I think it has to do with what working people do on their days off. Watch TV, put a load on, have company over. everyone assumes because you don't receive paycheck you don't deserve one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Answered By: me2 - 10/10/2007

It's only about Money. SAH Mom's don't make any money, the hours are long, and there's no sick time. If we made any money at this, we'd be respected. Source(s): SAH Mom Answered By: phillipa_gordon - 10/10/2007

I don't have anything at all against a SAHM. In fact, at one point I was one. I will say though, from my own experience, it was easier being a SAHM than it is for me now that I work outside the home. Before, I had roughly 16-18 waking hours a day to get the things done, that now I only have about 4-5 hours a day to get done. When I was a SAHM my house was cleaner, laundry didn't pile up, dishes got done right after they were used, and dinner was done by 5:30 everyday. Nowdays, I don't usually get home until sometime between 6:00-6:30 so dinner isn't done until 7:00-7:30. The laundry may get washed and dryed, but it might sit in a laundry basket for a week, because after driving 40 miles each way back and forth to work and working an 8 1/2 hour day, I do not feel like sitting there folding clothes. I certainly don't feel like washing a sink full of dishes at 8:30 at night, when I am trying to get baths for 2 kids, as well as myself. I am not saying that SAHM's don't work hard, because I know that I still did while I was one. However, most SAHM's don't have set-in-stone schedule. Sure, they have kids to drop off at school and pick up, but they have more hours during the day, when they are not "punching a clock" to do the normal chores that all moms, ok well most moms, have to do. You may not have ALL DAY to do all the things like laundry, dishes, cleaning, paying bills, making phone calls, grocery shopping, etc, not with small kids running around, but you do have more hours during the day to do those things than a woman who chooses to work during the day. All those things still have to get done in our houses, we just have less free hours during the day to do them. Instead we have to do them after work and on weekends. I still respect all moms, no matter their situation, however having seen it from both sides, I understand it both ways. Answered By: Pink Cowgirl - 10/10/2007

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