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how to prove shes got a new partner?

my ex and i are split 4 years and going through complex divorce. She is trying to con me out of the house or at least my agreed 35% of it. I need to cover myself and (without boring you with a myriad of complex facts) need to prove that her new partner is providing for her. I had no problem with him til he started to intefere with my kids(live with ex) he has his own house 30miles away but during an argument (about him leaving my kids alone) he rambled on about how he was bringing money into the house and being 'guardian' to my kids etc. she (the ex) has been scumming off the benefits system since we split (4years) but somehow has a new car, new leather sofas, new washing machine/fridge freezer/dishwasher etc when wewere together we wernt exactly rich and still had the donated sofas from freinds and family when we married. we have the decri nisi but the mortgage co. wont take me off it cos she doesnt work. the agreement (mediation) we have is i get 35% charge of the property' cant afford a private investigator. what do i legaly need to find out, to prove she has a new partner. she leaves the kids with her mum EVERY weekend to go off with her new man, i only get them sundays he sleeps there often but not enough to say he's moved in please help ... im getting the shaft here ... if i could just get a small flat or something then my kids could come to me at the weekends. all i can afford after paying for her lifestyle is a room in shared acoomodation.... not suitable to bring my kids to overnight the marriage just broke down ... constant arguing and the kids were suffering for it ... the last 2 years of the marriage i was on the sofa there were no third parties involved i left with all the debts a bed and my computer ... thats it william ... id love to leave her alone id love to never see her again but i have two kids to bring up and i was told by mediation all i get is 35% she has the kids ... i have a penis ... therfore i get shafted ... ever been through a divorce ???? carrie not angry at all certainly not jealous, i happen to have a very wonderful girlfreind ... why do you all think i need to get over it ... I HAVE i couldnt care less about her ... but my kids i do care about and getting legaly and financialy shafted i care about hence the question ... duh! so if you could stop brining your own insecurities about your own relationships into the fray and read the question properly that would be great cheers

Asked By: Doc - 10/16/2007
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Hello Doc. My answer is not an emotional rant or even an absolute solution as such, rather it's about helping you understand that you might indeed need to give up and accept what happens will happen, it's the figting that makes you sad, in the end. Unlike some of the advice I've seen from others I have indeed been... More
Answered By: Pete N - 10/16/2007
Additional Answers (14)
1) Private Eye 2) Tape record your next row with him (he will boast again & drop them both in it) 3) If you have time on your hands photo the house (Him leaving for waork on 5 concec a.m etc) with a digital camarea (set up to date & time every photo)
Answered By: Bubbly Blonde - 10/16/2007
 
why did you even agree to 35% of the house. You are the one who is messes up. Get over it,and move on. Leave her alone.
Answered By: paducah_billy - 10/16/2007
 
It doesnt matter whats shes doing now . Its only the marital assets that are accounted for .............everything gets pooled and divided. You need to get a lawyer so its done correctly.
Answered By: Aussiemum - 10/16/2007
 
There is nothing that you or the government can do if he is giving her gifts. She is not obligated to work, expecially if she has children to care for. The other 65% of the house goes to her and the kids regardless of what he is doing to help them. He is not married to her, and he certainly has no responsibility to... More
Answered By: PEGGY S - 10/16/2007
 
Can you just name him on new petition? He will then have to acount for his money and budget on a fiancial statement in court. Just a threat of this may stop her. You can report her to the welfare office. If circumstances have changed you are able to start this new petition and have arangements changed.
Answered By: Lady Lolay - 10/16/2007
 
if kids are involved and the kids stay with your ex, she will get 2/3rds of the house and you 1/3rd...get her to put the house on the market as you want your share, and dont even live with a woman...6 months' you are classed as common-law partners. If she doesn't work her share will come in handy and she can go live... More
Answered By: tobyjug472002 - 10/16/2007
 
you are angry, yes??? I think someone should chill and get over it. The marriage is over, and you sound just a little bit jealous to me!!! Get over it, and let her live her own life, and stop being so jealous. It does not matter what kind of "organ" you have, everyone gets shafted.
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Answered By: carriegreen13 - 10/16/2007
 
I think the only legal way is to get the documentation for the new goods she has, which a solicitor may be able to arrange. It will show how it is being paid for... More
Answered By: sun_is_shining - 10/16/2007
 
If you truly think she is swindling the benefit system then the only way I can see that you can do this is to report her as being a benefit cheat and tell them what her partner told you about bringing money into the house. They will decide if there is enough proof... More
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Answered By: slinkybecks21 - 10/16/2007
 
Your rambling on about how your getting screwed left and right. Usually that is a sign of jealousy, mister. Apparently if this is the way you were when you two were together, I wouldnt blame her for wanting a divorce. She has moved on. Apparently you havent. You mention a few things that I am curious about......... More
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Answered By: beentheredonethat - 10/16/2007
 
Actually this situation seems very complicated & even convoluted.My advice to you is to seek firstly advice from your cities citizens advice bureau( if its available in your country... More
Answered By: sunil - 10/16/2007
 
im a little confused..you say you have 35%charge, was this drawn up as part of the divorce settlement or just agreed in principle at mediation? is the charge to be executed now or at a later date? is it when she forms a new relationship... More
Answered By: slsvenus - 10/16/2007
 
money is just money, I KNOW WE ALL NEED ALL WE CAN GET, but this woman is using that to make u miserable. i would go back to court get my kids and go on living, do u really want to fight this woman for the rest of ur life? i know it sounds harsh but move on and forget all you've lost, there's more to life than letting... More
Answered By: nm chick - 10/16/2007
 
this is a a easy one my friend all you have to do is report her discreetly to department of work and pensions , let the social services know that she is busy with her current partner and leaves the kids without notice of letting you know , also let social know that he is interfering with yr upbringing of the kids , dnt... More
Answered By: gary - 10/16/2007
 
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