What The Job Ad Says And What It Really

What The Job Ad Says And What It Really Means Work processing skills essential There's a crippling case of carpal tunnel syndrome in your future Salary range $24,000- $32,000 The salary is $24,000 Civil service This job was filled from the inside six months ago Women and minorities encouraged White males need not waste the stamp to apply Top-notch communications skills Telemarketing Salary negotiable We'll take the lowest bidder Advancement opportunity Crappy job Entry level Really a crappy job No experience necessary The mother of all crap jobs Administrative assistant: Crap job with a title. Ground floor opportunity: Crap job with a company that will file bankruptcy within a year. Progressive company: Employees get to wear jeans every other Friday. Team player: Must deal with dangerously territorial co-workers with rabid personalities. Upbeat personality: Must neither threaten us with any kind of lawsuit nor use the drug & alcohol rehab benefit within the first year. Public relations: Receptionist Professional appearance important: $20K/yr job that requires a $100K/yr wardrobe Pleasant telephone manner: Be the voice of 1-900-HOT-TIME Jeans job! Minimum wage temp job in concentration camp conditions. Will train: Prior conviction of a felony or two no problem. B.A. required, master's preferred: Must be an M.A. willing to work on a B.A.'s salary Outstanding benefits package: Health insurance. Tons of variety! We took all the heinous tasks no other employee would do & rolled them into one job. Beautiful offices in attractive location: Brand new ticky-tacky windowless building where the picture frames all match the carpeting. Secretary: Woman-only job with the responsibilities of management & wages of a migrant worker. Executive secretary: The most powerful position in the company Dedicated: You're looking at a minimum of 80 hours a week from now until we force you into early retirement. Salary commensurate: We'll pay you whatever the hell we feel like. Competitive salary: We'll pay you up to 10% more than your last job and not one penny more. Competitive starting salary: Ten cents above minimum wage. Pleasant atmosphere: A staff of pod people. Professional atmosphere: Zombie pod people. Fun, creative atmosphere: Pod people from hell. Dynamic atmosphere: Zombie pod people from hell. Gal Friday: Anyone who actually applies for this job deserves it. Self-starter: Open to very broad interpretation since no one really knows what

Asked By: finn - 10/24/2007
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
*Rolls on the floor laughing her head off* That's hilarious!!
Answered By: i_am_me - 10/24/2007
Additional Answers (5)
Answered By: Esmeralda R - 10/24/2007
long but funny! have a star!
Answered By: crazygirl - 10/24/2007
cute.... almost funny
Answered By: vvhiitefang - 10/24/2007
I work in an office environment and that was hilarious, thank you for sharing! lol ;)
Answered By: Nathaniel - 10/24/2007
Answered By: David L - 10/24/2007
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