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Why do people act like being a stay home Mom is not allot of work?

I have worked both outside the home and staying home and taking care of my family has been the hardest job yet, what about you?
I don't think being a working Mom makes you less of a Mom but as far as money goes if you have small children and have to pay for daycare that gets pretty costly so in a way unless the working Mom makes alot of money it really does not bring home an extra income!

Asked By: Sunshine - 12/26/2007
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I'm a stay at home mom, and I have been for almost a year already (wow, hard to believe!). I did, however, work full time outside of the home (as a nurse) until my daughter was 18 months old. I personally (this is my personal opinion), do think that being a stay at home mom is a LOT easier, at least for me. When I was working full time, I would get up at 3:45 a.m., take a quick shower, grab a fast breakfast, get my daughter up at 4:15 a.m., dress her, feed her, rush to pack her diaper bag and get out the door by 4:45, rush to the daycare to drop her off by 5:15, rush to work, clock in at 5:45 a.m., bust my butt at work all day constantly running around and doing 1001 things while getting yelled at by doctors, putting up with lazy, jerky co-workers, imposible supervisors, crabby patients, then at 6:00 p.m., clock out, rush to the daycare to pick my daughter up by 6:30, rush home, change clothes, rush to make supper, do the dishes, clean the house, do laundry, run errands, do yard work, do any other of the 999 things that need to be done around a home in a day and then spend 30 minutes of completely uninterrupted, non rushing, totally devoted to her time with my daughter before she went to bed, then I would finish up whatever needed to be done around the house, then collapse in bed exhausted at around 11:00 p.m., only to have to wake up 4 hours later and do the whole hellish routine over again. Fwew! Makes me cringe just to think about that again - lol!

Now that I'm a stay at home mom though, I love it! For me, it is so relaxed and I can set my own schedule, work at my own pace (within reason), don't have to put up with crabby customers or patients, pick up the slack from annoying co workers, deal with a ton of paper work or meet imposible deadlines, and I am no longer confined within 4 brick walls as I was when I was working. A typical day for me staying at home is this: I get up between 4:45 and 5:30 a.m., start some laundry, make myself a cup of tea and plan out my day, have breakfast and read the newspaper (if one of my kids aren't up early that is). My kids usually wake up around 7:30 a.m., so I get them up and dressed make and feed them breakfast. During the morning we play, read, and learn (my daughter is 2 and she's learning her colors, letters, and animals and animal sounds), while she's having her playtime, I finish up laundry and straighten up the house. at 11:30 I make lunch and then feed the kids. After lunch, we run errands if we have any to run, or go outside to play or to the park (which is only 4 blocks away) if the weather is nice, or to playgroup. At 3:00, the kids take their naps which allows me an hour or two of "me" time, during which I catch up on a project that I have been working on, finish cleaning if needed, do gardening or yard work, or anything else that needs to be done around the house. At 5:00, I start supper while the kids are playing (right now my daughter is all about "helping" me cook... lol!), and when my husband gets home, usually around 6:30 or so, I set the table, serve supper and then clean up the supper mess and do the dishes. My husband and I then have playtime with the kids until their bedtime (which is at 8:00), one or two nights a week we have a movie night during this time with the kids (kid movies of course), during which we make popcorn and hot chocolate. At 8:00 p.m., we give the kids baths, have story time, and tuck them into bed. I then straighten up the house one more time before we go to bed and then my husband and I then have 2 hours of time to ourselves before we go to sleep.
My day as a stay at home mom is sooooooooooo much more relaxed than it was when I was working full time. I love it and wouldn't trade it. I mean, as a stay at home mom I'm always busy too and I really only sit down when I first get up in the morning during my breakfast time or when the kids take a nap, or when we're having story time or doing our learning times, but I can set my own pace at what I'm doing and I don't have to be in a rush to do anything and I'm always done with all of my work around the house before supper (except for supper itself and dishes). I love it and wouldn't trade it for the ratrace of working full time again. I definitely think that being a stay at home is a lot easier and definitely not as stressful! As a stay at home mom who used to be a full time working mom, that's my opinion anyways!



Edit: It's interesting what you say about the money thing - it's absolutely true! One of the reasons that I am staying home is because without the cost of daycare, the extra gas mileage, meal expenses, office dues, ect, we are actually bringing in anywhere from $200 to $400 MORE a month than we were when I was working full time and paying for daycare, extra gas, food expenses, office dues, ect.! Crazy stuff, huh?
Answered By: ~*Mrs. GM2*~ - 12/26/2007
Additional Answers ()
I will be working until I have children, then I plan on staying home.

To those who have a problem with it.....worry about your own lives.
Answered By: kiki - 12/26/2007
Because they aren't there and they assume you don't have to do anything but sit around which is not the case
Answered By: melissalcb - 12/26/2007
My mommy satys at home

its alot of work

she takes care of us our dogs our birds our bills and she cleans the house

SUPERMOM
Answered By: Hopeful Dreamer <3 - 12/26/2007
It's not a lot of work. All I do is stay at home all day and watch oprah, m********e and eat pringles.
Answered By: biff_the_santa_impersonator - 12/26/2007
People who say staying home with children is easy usually are either guys or have never experienced it its far from easy I should know I have two children fifteen months apart in age
Answered By: sarah 19651939 - 12/26/2007
I'm a work-at-home mom and I try to clean and keep up the house when I'm not working and a lot of family doesn't get why my house isn't always perfect. It's a lot of work (I currently have a part-time job out of the house but plan on returning to working at home full time very soon).
Answered By: Precious - 12/26/2007
The only people who say it is easy are the ones who have never done it before.
Answered By: Katie - 12/26/2007
Anyone who thinks being a stay-at-home Mom isnt a lot of work obviously are not or have not been stay-at-home Moms! I was a stay-at-home Mom with my daughter for the 1st year of her life - went back to work after she turned a year old and I find work to be far less work then staying at home taking care of a child or children. When I was a stay at home Mom, there were days were I literally didnt sit down all day. I never knew it would be such hard work. Even while my daughter was napping, there was always so much housework to do. I find life to be far less stressful with me being back at work and my daughter in daycare. I very much miss spending my time at home with her, but I like working and I like the structured environment daycare gives her. For all you stay at home Moms out there - You have my respect!
Answered By: Ambermerr - 12/26/2007
People do that because they have never had to take care of a child and think, "ohhh, that is sooo easy" It is like if you are in a contest and you have to run 2 miles you will probably say that it is sooo easy.
Answered By: Bear - 12/26/2007
Working mothers are often jealous of stay at home moms because the sitter gets to see the really cool things , like first steps, first words, funny stories, first drawing, etc.that a stay at home mom sees and hears. Many working moms have no choice and so say and do things to makeit seem like staying home is no big deal. I have done both and both are hard work but in different ways. Both also have thier stresses. Face it, women work hard no matter where they are at.
Answered By: bubbles - 12/26/2007
I agree with you, them that say that have never done it, so dont know that its hard work, not only that its important,
Answered By: sally c - 12/26/2007
I think many are ignorant of how much work is truly involved.

And when all the trials and tribulations of child rearing and the day to day up keep of the home is done well, it usually appears as though the wasn't all that much to have done. In essence you probably make "look easy" because you (hopefully) do it well.

Tell 'em to watch the movie Mr. Mom, it's from the the 80's but still funny and proves a point.

Some peoples minds may never be changed, maybe because they equate the value and difficulty of their work with the amount of money they are paid.
Answered By: Eric S - 12/26/2007
My mum did everything!

My dad was rarely in the picture (he didn't pay child maintenance for myself or my sister)

But my mum went out to work, worked all the hourse she could, then she would come home we would rarely go to a babysitter or a family member as my mum always got around that, and she would come home, clean and cook, she would do everything, both roles of the parents! all the bills, food mortgage (we even payed that off and had our own home!)

My mum was awesome, and gave me and my sister an amazing upbringing. We never went without love or care. And she only works in tesco!
Answered By: Welsh.Chic - 12/26/2007
Simple, because they have never been one!
Answered By: SWEET T - 12/26/2007
As a stay at home mom I have noticed that I don't get the respect I would if I worked outside the home. When in realioty my job is 24/7, and although the benefits are great I really don't get cash for buying stuff for myself. I don't get paychecks. I spend my day cleaning the same stuff I cleaned yesterday and it never stops.... I've heard family make comments before that have offended me even if they didn't men to. People assume you are rich if you stay home and truth is we do without a lot to make it work.....
Answered By: okeydokeyjal22 - 12/26/2007
I have worked for years, the last two years We helped our daughter raise her two children, I mean by babysitting. Let me tell you that watching children and being responsible for them take a toll let alone all the housework that come with the job.
Answered By: James P - 12/26/2007
I have never felt that being a SAHM isn't work, though I can say that for me, it has been tougher being a working mom, as I have been a SAHM before.

The only true issue that I can see with choosing to be a SAHM is that it may leave a couple open to some very serious money issues. If a father truely makes good money and can support his family in a decent lifestyle and still have money left over to save for those unexpected expenses that always seem to come up at the worst possible times, then I think that is great. But I truely don't think alot of women who make this choice understand the risks that can come with trying to make it on one income. Either they have not yet had to experience any major unexpected expenses or they have fooled themselves into believing it won't happen to them. I have had to deal with those unexpected expenses first hand. Water leaks, a hot water heater that went out, the motor on the family car going out. We didn't have the money to pay for these things, and had no choice but to get a credit card to charge them on. And we are still paying off the charges.

Even being a working mom, and us having two incomes, we have found that sometimes things happen that you don't expect and you have to come up with the money. My husband just missed a day of work today because his truck broke down and it is going to cost us over $1700 to repair it. It is going to be hard for us to come up with that, and I can't imagine paying for the repair if I didn't work and it was just my husbands income.

Being a SAHM is hard work, but sometimes the work and stress that comes along with that is by the womans own choice. Trying to stretch one income to cover everything can be very difficult and stressful, and a woman doesn't have to try to do that if she would respect that the choice for a mother to work outside the home DOES NOT make her any less a loving mother than anyone else and it makes her just as hard working as any other mother.

Edit: I don't know if the addition you made was meant for me, however, what I get paid compaired to the $50 to $60 a week I pay for daycare, it certainly makes sense financially for me to work. But then again, that is just me. Other women might not make as much, or have to pay more for daycare, and it wouldn't be worth it. I lucked out and got a friends mother to watch my daughter, that is why I don't have to pay much.
Answered By: Pink Cowgirl - 12/26/2007
While being a stay at home mom is a lot of work I think that being a working mom is be a heck of a lot harder. That's just my opinion. To me working moms have to deal with not only a job but everything else stay at home moms have do--cook, clean, do laundry, spend time with the kids, and deal with any guilt they might have for working. I couldn't be a working mom! I like to be able to schedule my day the way I want it. I like to know that if my child wants to play in his own room--it's okay because I have all day to spend with him. I like knowing that I have all day to do laundry if I need it or organize my home. While it is hard--I can only imagine how hectic it would be if I had to do all of this plus work 9-5 but maybe that's just me.
Source(s):
Hard-working stay at home mom.
Answered By: .vato. - 12/26/2007
People think that sahm's don't have hard work because they don't know what being a good mom is and how much work a little one actually takes. I work full time and would love to be able to be a stay at home mom and that's why I'm going to school while working full time and being a full time mommy so that this next year I can work from home and be a better mommy to my little girl! I know that people who see me as a mom say that I don't know what hard work is....I ask them simply are you a chauffer, seamstress, launder, cook, dishwasher, live in Nanny, wife/worker and still maintaine your sanitY? Because I do all that a more and am not in the insane assylum yet!
Momma_Bear
Source(s):
Being a stay at home mom is wonderful and so rewarding and worth every second of critisism you get!
Answered By: the_morris_bears - 12/26/2007
Some people are ignorant.

I agree with you; being a SAHM has been my hardest job yet.
Answered By: Rachel - 12/26/2007
I think most people, in general, de-value menial labor in favor of intellectual or creative work. Nurse's aides, short-order cooks, cleaners, taxi drivers and laundry workers don't get a lot of respect, either, regardless of how necessary their jobs may be.

Roll 'em all up in to one, paint it with some pastel colors and little wonder stay-at-home moms are dismissed as none-too-bright and not-very-useful.

It's a stupid cliche ... but I'll bet there are plenty of whip-smart people out there in undervalued professions. I agree that taking caring of home and hearth while bringing up baby is about as tough as it gets.
Answered By: Verity Watson - 12/26/2007
I was a stay at home mom for 3yrs and did not find it hard at all. If a person is organized, disciplines the child so that they know how to listen/behave and so forth its not a huge deal. I kept my house spotless, took my son to playgrounds, libraries, museums,speech therapy, specialists for health issues and took care of other children on a regular basis and still had to find things to do to fill my time. I found it the easiest job in the world of course I'm also a homebody who could go days with out seeing other people so I'm sure that figures into it.
Answered By: billie b - 12/26/2007
As a Mom who cannot stay home. . . it isn't that it isn't a lot of work. However, everything that you do during the day - we still have to do when we get home at night from work such as cook, clean, laundry, homework, etc. - but with a smaller timeframe to get it all done.

I honestly think it is easier to go to work and leave your baby with a daycare . . . have your baby at night - feed baby, bath baby and put baby to bed and then "enjoy" the baby on the weekends with fieldtrips and stuff.

We are just jealous that we can't stay home... my house looks like crap and I put a lot of pressure on my kids to be independent & help out. . .

I am not only a full-time working mother...i am also a single mother.
Answered By: Birdbrain - 12/26/2007
The only stay-at-home mom I know plays World of Warcraft all day.
Answered By: LOL Miami Heat - 12/26/2007
I have done both too, and I am currently working part time outside my home.

My experience that it is sooooo much harder to hold down a job outside the home, and then have to go home, and do all the work there, too, which is pretty much the case of many mothers that work outside the home.

Given the choice, I would much rather just be a stay at home mother.
Answered By: gogirl - 12/26/2007
Because they haven't done it and they have some bizarre idea that SAHM's all sit around watching soaps and eating bon bons.
Answered By: mamamoon - 12/26/2007
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(2) Computer voice recognition already exists, in programs such as Siri and Google Voice and others. But very soon these programs will be so much better. Virtually all the human-staffed customer service call centers will disappear very soon. Human office receptions will be mostly eliminated. (3) McDonald's already has a prototype version of their fast food restaurant with NO human workers on site. (4) Wal-Mart & other retailers already have plans for stores with NO human cashiers. (5) Google's driverless cars and trucks will soon eliminate most drivers of commercial trucks & taxi cabs. (6) IBM's computer "Watson" defeated the best human players on "Jeopardy" about a year ago. Watson had to hear and understand host Alex Trebeck's spoken speech just like the human contestants. IBM created Watson to replace Medical Doctors. The plan is that nurses and nurses practitioners will take data from patients (temperate, blood pressure, reports of pains, etc.), enter that into Watson, and Watson will order tests and make prescriptions and treatment plans. Unlike human doctors, Watson will KNOW EVERYTHING about medical science. Doctor errors currently kill about 100,000 patients per year in hospitals alone. Patients will DEMAND to be diagnosed by Watson (or other equivalent) & have a prescription by Watson, since studies will show that patients fare so MUCH better when Watson is their “doctor,” and the cost will be MUCH less. (7) Computers are now replacing the lawyers that formerly had to spend massive hours read through massive amounts of documents turned over to the opposing side in "discovery" in civil lawsuits. Documents now are turned over in digital form, and computers search in seconds them looking for key words and phrases. (8) Soon publishers will stop printing books on paper. Everyone will have an e-Reader device. That will be the END of every physical library and bookstore. (9) Soon computers will be able to general characters in movies that are indistinguishable from real humans. Not only actors will lose their jobs, but costume people, makeup people, scene construction people, camera operators, key grips, electricians, lighting experts, etc. (10) New machines are replacing the humans who pick vegetables in fields. (11) New machines are replacing human security guards. (12) Human airplane pilots, both in the military and in commercial service, will soon be extinct. The FAA has already approved testing of drone planes for commercial transportation of non-human cargo. (13) Most trades on Wall Street are already being made by computers. (14) The U.S. Postal Service is doomed. Paying thousands of people to drive around in little trucks to deliver little printed pieces of paper to each household each day is going to seem more and more like idiocy. (15) Most of the reviews and analysis currently being done by human accountants, actuaries, tax experts, and other financial analysts and consultants will be done must better, more more quickly, and much more accurately, by computers. (16) Web sites already are using computer programs to write the text for stories that report on sports games. The program integrates the statistics from the game into a story text that seems to have been written by a human being. (17)Most education at the college and high school level will soon be done online, eliminating a massive number of workers. Thus, GIGANTIC UNEMPLOYMENT, in the range of 70-80?is coming soon to the USA. This will result in Rio De Janeiro type slums all over the USA. That will result in calls for gov't wealth redistribution, which will result in Armed Revolution, Counter-Revolution, concentration camps, & Latin American-style death squads. The rich and ultra-rich are never going to let any government get control of their wealth. Huge bloody CONFLICT is coming. * * * Politicians keep repeating the old canard that the solution is to train and retrain Americans for the "jobs of the future." But they are either morons or are lying, since anyone who thinks about it can easily see that even if every American worker had an engineering degree or a computer science degree, the economy just doesn't need that many engineers and computer scientists. * * * * * * * Why don't more people see this? Why aren't more people talking about this? We are facing soon a catastrophe in the USA (and in other places) on par of the plagues in Europe that killed half of the population in certain areas, and on par with the depopulation in Europe brought about by WWI and WWII. Sure, you can just repeat the Luddite Fallacy, and proclaim that the economy will always create enough jobs for most people to survive. But there is no law of economics that says that any law of economics will always operate the same. Laws of economics are not like the laws of physics. Economies and life forms can and do evolve in fundamental ways that make former economic models and ways of life obsolete. I'm sure the last tribe of Neanderthals were certain that nothing was ever going to change, right before the Homo Sapiens swooped down on them, chased them into a dead end canyon were other Homo Sapiens were lying in wait with big clubs. * * * * * * * * * In the past the Luddite Fallacy was valid since machines always needed the mental acuity that only human operators could provide, and machines frequently needed maintenance by skilled human hands and minds. But now machines have mental functions that equal or surpass what humans can provide in most work functions. And computers aren't so much repaired anymore as just thrown away and replaced. How many cell phone repair shops have you ever seen? Even most laptop computers are replaced rather than repaired. More and more laptop computers never even need to be repaired for years and years. In short, when the economy has no use for most Americans, all h*ll is going to brake loose, & that's coming soon. * * * * *
2 answers - Asked By: Perro Americano Invicto - 5/16/2013
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2 answers - Asked By: schang25 - 2/10/2006
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I've always freelanced as a web designer and might have an opportunity to work at a large ad agency. sorta nervous about the culture and role, so I was wondering if I could solicit feedback about the type of strengths I might need to develop, ie., strong project management (learn to use basecamp!), etc. I've held jobs on the client side as a web marketing manager and before that freelanced -- but on the very small scale. anyone with similiar experiences or feedback I'd love to hear from you!
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