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Why would a samaritan woman quash my hopes and dreams like this ?

I phoned the helpline last night because i was feeling lonely and low, i talked to her about my unfortunate life, the fact i have borderline personality disorder...the fact i'd had a terrible run at life so far...that id bullied growing up, suffered sexual abuse, assaults,.. muggings....time in a psychiatric unit etc.

i told her i was 30 now and still had hopes, goals and dreams, even though i'd been unfortunate enough to miss out being employed...gaining qualifications.....making any friends...and never having a girlfriend or partner.

i told her my goals were to move back to europe and get a fresh start, a clean slate...to live in a little village with a job, a home...find a girlfriend etc, in a non comercialized part of europe.
she laughed at me in a mocking way & said how am i going to do that? with the disadvantages i'm at...because id never worked...got a mental health history etc..

she said i have to be realistic, & said i can try, but i don't have a chance, then she laughed
iam extremely hurt by her words, i feel deflated...

shes made me feel even more trapped here in this
situation in britain than i already feel.

made me feel like i'll never leave my one bedroom apartment
living of welfare benifits coping with BPD.

how should i handle this ?

Asked By: ∫e mousquetaire XVI - 3/9/2008
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Man up.

Do what it takes to make things happen.

Stop blaming others for your CHOICES and long standing avoidance of responsibility. Quit attempting to elicit sympathetic hand-holding when what you really need is a good kick in the pants.

If you want out of your current situation, take action. DO SOMETHING, instead of just talking about it. Whining won't work - it hasn't in 30 years, and it won't in the future. Stop making excuses and start making mature decisions.

You aren't a child. You're a man.

Act like one.

What? Weren't expecting someone to speak the truth to you?
Answered By: michele - 3/9/2008
Additional Answers ()
Read your letter back to yourself and see how many times that the word 'I' is used. Try focusing on helping others rather than being so wrapped up in yourself.
Answered By: Tom1999 - 3/9/2008
Michele answered best. Grow up and take responsibility for yourself.

If you want change in your life, get off your butt and make changes, not excuses.
Answered By: Snigs - 3/9/2008
She was no help at all and should be reported, and ignored, in just that order. If you are getting welfare benefits, someone there may be able to connect you with some resources for job training.
Answered By: jen - 3/9/2008
It is up to you to do what is necessary to get what you want. Make a plan on how to do it, then follow through on it. If you focus on all the bad things that happened to you, you will not focus on what you have to do to get on with your life. If you recognize that the ball is in your court, you have to do what is necessary, then you can do this. Don't depend on others to make or break your dreams. Just go for it.
Answered By: Simmi - 3/9/2008
Perhaps she was intending you to hear what she says and say "no, I will be better than that" "I will make something of my life" regardless of what some complete stranger feels about me.

Many of us have a rough life, terrible childhood, etc. if we continue to let the past control our future we will be doomed to repeat it.
Answered By: Bradley's MoM - 3/9/2008
Talk to the Samaritans... ;-)
Answered By: nutcrackerjo - 3/9/2008
Read up some more about your condition, it says in the wikipedia site that alot of people with your condition are actually very talented, i advise that you find something that you are good at and focus on mastering it, make the best of your good days and try to keep a focused mind on the bad days, hopefullythings will pick up from there.

good luck.
Answered By: snowhite - 3/9/2008
First of all, with the phonecall, don't dwell on it, she's in the wrong job, move on from it, it's getting you nowhere.

Secondly, the only person that can control your life is you, if you want to be sad and upset then you will be, to be happy you have to be in control.

As someone who has been in psychiatric care herself, i was very selfish and wanted to magically have wonderful things happen to me, but it doesn't work that way, I had to work hard to turn my life around.

I suffer from social anxiety and the thought of going out petrifies me nevermind going for job intervies and the such, but I do it or I'd be holed up in bed all day falling into a pit. When I have a job I am happier as I am independent and have money to do the things i really want.

You have to take little steps, set goals, don't aim to high, and work at them one by one till you get to where you want to be.

She is wrong, YOU can do it, but only you can.
Answered By: jojomc79 - 3/9/2008
Having a repetitive routine of self loathing does not accomplish anything in life. If you have opportunities around you and you have basic mobility skills, then you can reach a degree of accomplishment. You can only be guided so much.
Answered By: La La - 3/9/2008
Phew... It may be that your victim outlook on life attracts the list of problems you described. Yes, it is ok to blame being mugged or sexually assaulted for being unemployed and missing out on qulifications (Lets us not discuss 'Couldn't be bothered') you poor thing...

Are you getting my drift here? You expect to have a girlfriend with your miserable approach to life ? You can hope I suppose.

OK, the solution now

Stop blaming past events for your present condition. You are not a computer, you can reprogram yourself. Look on the net for coping mechanisms and how to enhance them.
Answered By: Josie G - 3/9/2008
A real samaritan is a person that does not look away and
gives help. they are just as thin on the ground as angels
ignore her she's a fraud.
Answered By: katy - 3/9/2008
She was very much in the wrong to hurt you in any way she is there as a listener and to help she most definitely is NOT there to laugh at you or anyone else. This pathetic woman shouldn't be in this type of job if she can't provide what the Samaritans do and that is help the lonely, depressed and suicidal people that phone their helpline, how does she know that you can't achieve exactly what you want out of life. Sure you have had a bad start in life but that should make you more determined to prove to yourself and anyone else who doubts you that you can do, and get where you want, even with that bad start in life, and a mental health issue.

People have no right to judge anyone especially someone who has had the terrible things that life has thrown at them. Don't let this terrible woman put you down or let her words eat away at you, hold your head up and work at making your ambitions in life start to happen. This "Samaritan" is fooling herself and hurting others in the process she is only a fool herself and not even a true Samaritan when she can't do the job of the REAL Samaritans.

Good luck and please do enjoy your life in Europe I do hope you find someone who truly makes you very happy.
Answered By: daddyslittlegirl - 3/9/2008
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