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Why are people hateful to waitresses, but treat other public service workers decently?

Asked By: LAST STOP, WILLOUGHBY - 3/10/2008
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Not to belittle your complaint, but I think you're looking through a narrow lens. It's not just waitstaff who get treated badly. Nearly EVERYONE in a service or "pink collar" job has a "war story" of sorts. Why do you think movies like the Nanny Diaries and The Devil Wears Prada exist?

I've been in the work force ever since 1979 and I can tell you nearly every job has someone who looks down their nose at their worker and they feel justified in treating them like 2d class citizens. The most demeaning of the jobs in my experience? When I worked as a sales associate/manager trainee/assistant manager in a somewhat upscale retail store for three years (similar to Nordstrom), and trust me, I've seen firsthand the many ways that so called "upper and upper middle class" customers can be downright rude and nasty to sales associates...solely because they can! They'll act really uppity and ignore the clerk greeting them, and then talk in front of her like she's not even there. They may start off friendly but once something doesn't go their way, they cut you short with "I'm in a hurry!" or they can get very demanding to the point of yelling at cashiers using foul language or making very rude and hurtful remarks about the clerk's personal appearance. I've seen fat customers who will DEMAND that the manager remove that "skinny b***h" from the plus size section, and I've seen people sneer at a 5'2" but curvy sales associate, "Aren't you a little chunky to be working in petites?" In both cases, the clerks involved were pretty much reduced to tears! I've even witnessed a case where a customer actually went so far as to attempt to STRIKE a saleswoman. The 50-something sales associate just stood to her full 6' height and growled "Don't touch me" and the would be assailant backed off. She got reported for being "rude." Management chose not to get involved since they said there were no other witnesses...humph.

What annoyed me most about being at that store? How their customer service policy at times enabled the customer with their boorish and bordering on abusive behavior...all because of that stupid cliche about how the "customer is always right!" To add insult to injury? Having your job hang in the balance because of some anonymous and sometimes biased "mystery shopper!"

Through out my time in the workforce, I've heard various stories of unfair, disrespectful and sometimes outright degrading treatment of workers as diverse as maids to production assistants to receptionists to hairdressers to security guards...even small time musicians get no respect...try having a two hour gig at a bar/restaurant where hardly anyone pays attention and everyone talks through your show...or playing on the streets and having to deal with people who think you're a beggar instead of a professional artist...makes being a waitress seem like a walk in the park by comparison.

and if you want to find out who really gets treated badly or looked down upon because of what they do for a living: try being a telemarketer! They are probably the most hated and scorned occupation in America (and yes, I've done this job...lasted about a month before I found something better..so I'm NEVER rude to them. I just politely say, please remove my number from your list and hang up.)
Answered By: Musica - 3/10/2008
Additional Answers ()
Because the idiots think they are superior simply because you are waiting on them.
They forget your are a service worker just like any other customer service employee....and not the d**n maid.
Treating wait staff badly is MUCH more dangerous.
You have to put that stuff in your MOUTH after you treat wait staff nasty! LOL
Wait staff personnel are out there making an honest living....a lot of the times it is the second job or putting that person thru school.
They are just trying to be nice to your immature, rude, and condescending back sides when you certainly don't deserve it.
So stop!
Answered By: muinghan - 3/10/2008
Yes ppl are so nice to garbage collectors, janitors, and street sweepers, you might want to get a different job since you are so abused as a waitress
Answered By: nutjob - 3/10/2008
I don't know and it makes me sick. When I see how hard they work, I always try to show them how much I appreciate it. Plus, I always tip 20?
Answered By: Oklahoma City Slim - 3/10/2008
Well, i never knew it was like that. if it is theres no reason to behave like that.
Answered By: chitti - 3/10/2008
The same people who are hateful to waitress are ugly to other working people too.
Source(s):
Human nature.
Answered By: Tasha - 3/10/2008
Don't dare , i don't really think so , i think some are very nice people.

i don't dare to be hateful even if they are rude though , for what i know my friend who work in F & B told me that if people who treat waitress / waiter badly will have poor quality of food , like dirty food or what .

don't want to elaborate and when i recall my days working in another F & B industry i think it's pretty true .
Answered By: Seriously - 3/10/2008
It's because they have no class; people who do are secure enough about themselves to treat everyone equally and only those suffering from lack of self esteem and coming from a low class background would try to make themselves feel superior by treating others badly.
Answered By: mystery - 3/10/2008
Haha, I think nutjob has a point. I don't see people treating anyone with respect anymore. In any business, the customer is going to treat you like crap, because they think they are always right, and they think that they are the only ones that matter. It's just how the world works these days. You just have to toughen up and stop letting things get to you.
Answered By: skeet monroe - 3/10/2008
I see rudeness everywhere.
Answered By: FlyingScooter - 3/10/2008
I think the percentage of really rude customers is probably far less than the percentage of rude food servers, but that is besides the point.

I eat out 3-4 times at least a week, tip, and haven't found it really necessary to be RUDE to the wait staff more than a few times in the past ten years; and believe me, they deserved it, and I brought the managers in also. I'm wondering if there isn't an awful lot of whining and complaining going on over a very small percentage of customers!
Perhaps some of these people shouldn't be working with the public if they can't deal with a few grumps and odd-balls. Furthermore, it is very likely that inept and rude servers get more problem people as well, don't you think! If you have one hundred customers a day and a few are bad, that is a pretty good percentage.
Answered By: Traveller - 3/10/2008
Geez....you think that's bad? Try working in a hospital. People and their families order you all over the place without any gratitude or respect and literally expect you clean up their crap and to bend down and wipe their royal fannies. They even threaten you if you can't do the impossible like draw their blood when they have no veins to use at all.

And you don't even get a tip!.....
Answered By: Some Guy - 3/10/2008
Because they're people, I've seen waitresses that are hateful to customers as well. i personally have not treated a waitress with disrespect, but if i do not like the service i won't return.
Answered By: Jenny G - 3/10/2008
I think society can be too judgmental. As they probably know, waitresses don't make enough money and they rely on tips to help pay their bills and such.

Public service workers obviously get paid a little better because they are not waiting on someone hand 'n' foot. Pretty sad now that I think about it, but I always treat the waitresses with respect.
Answered By: Leticia - 3/10/2008
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