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Is this synopsis any good?

"William Matthews is a man without beliefs and a man without God...but when tragedy strikes, William finds that in order to survive.... he's going to need faith." William Matthews and his wife Jennifer live in Los Angeles, California with their daughter Mallory, the unruly and rebelliant seventeen year old and Daria, the smart talking sarcastic thirteen year old. William works as a contractor, while Mallory is a stay at home mom. Jennifer is a woman with strong beliefs in God. She considers herself to be a devout christian. She prays every morning and every night, she reads her bible constantly, attends church every sunday and professes the good word of Christ to anyone and everyone she meets, while Bill on the other hand hasn't any beliefs in religion or God whatsoever. He feels it's absurb to believe in something that you can't see or feel. He doesn't even believe that God exists. Jennifer tries to urge William as well as her two daughters to believe in God's plan but the only belief they have is in theirselves. Because of William's rigorous work schedule, he relies on his wife to take care of most of all the duties of the household: The cooking, taking the children to and from school, attending the children's activities at school, and he even misses having dinner with the children sometimes. Despite all of this William feels he has a good life, however his life gets turned upside down when he gets the call that his wife has been involved in a near fatal car crash. As William rushes to the hospital, he discovers that Jennifer has suffered a brain injury as a result of the crash and that she's in the coma. William becomes more devastated when he learns that Jennifer might not awaken from the coma until six weeks or more, depending on how much damage was done to her brain. While his wife lies in a coma in the hospital, William returns home devastated. He begins to grieve terribly over his wife's injury. He tries to take over the roles of father and mother to his children by doing his duties and doing the duties that Jennifer had, but he finds this becomes stressful when he receives a call while at work that Mallory has been arrested for fighting with a teacher. William is put under more stress when he discovers she's been given one month house arrest and one month suspension from school. William hopes that Mallory will make good use of her time at home and will use her time to pitch in and help out at home, but is angered to return home one afternoon to a house full of trash, dirty dishes, and Mallory making out with her boyfriend on the living room sofa. William is upset by this as he knows his daughter is acting out because of Jennifer being in the hospital. Despite this, William tries to remain strong and continue being both dad and mom to his children, but he finds himself constantly failing miserably at it all: the cooking, the cleaning, the disciplining, the attendance of his childrens' activities, the job of taking his children to and from school, and being able to sit down and have dinner with them as a family at night. Worst of all, he finds himself having extreme problems focusing at work, which as a result causes him to be put on leave without pay. He feels he's at the end of his rope and doesn't know what to do so he calls his sister-in-law over as he feels he needs someone to talk to. However, he dislikes it when she tells him that only God can help him and that God is allowing these things to happen to him to get his attention. She tells him that Jennifer can be saved and that he can maintain control over his family and his household if he has faith and belief in God. William doesn't want to hear this. After all, how can God be doing that when he doesn't even believe in God? As William ignores her christian talks and goes back to his routine of trying to play both dad and mom, he finds his obstacles get harder when both Mallory and Daria want him to be at both of their events at the same time and on the same day. As William tries to reason with his children, he finds it impossible to do so as both children demand for him to attend their events. When William's own sister visits they get in a heated argument over Jennifer's injury and as a result, this sends William, who is already in deep sadness over Jennifer, into a complete emotional breakdown. He realizes that he can't do it all alone, he needs help and he needs it before he loses his emotional stability all together. It is during this time that William makes a suprising decision--He spends one full afternoon on his knees and praying to God for help, help with Jennifer, help with his children and help with his self. William finds great relief after meditating with God, and surprisingly has a new sense of direction. As he implements God into his family, he finds great success in repairing the problems of the house, and as he works on building up his faith, something great happens--Jennifer awakens from her coma, fully healed. William finds this to be a miracle and knows this could've only came from him finding God and having enough faith to believe that she could be healed. As William and his family go on with their lives, William realizes the true reason why his wife spent her time in a coma, for it was because of that, that William found out who God really was and that all life really takes...is a lttle faith.

Asked By: spoiled little girl - 3/11/2008
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
It's a good /start/; a good /first draft/. However, it requires a revision or two. You know what your story is about and you know what you are trying to say, but you include a lot of unnecessary information. As professional literary agent Nathan Bransford put it, the synopsis should convey the "spirit" of the story... More
Answered By: T M - 3/11/2008
Additional Answers (2)
I found it informative. It made me want to read it, though this isn't the genre I normally read. Join Absolute Write WAter Cooler where you can post your work safely and have others critique it.
Answered By: Brynna - 3/11/2008
 
i enjoyed it! A tad confusing in the beginning, but otherwhys very good
Answered By: Taylor - 3/11/2008
 
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