It's a good /start/; a good /first draft/. However, it requires a revision or two. You know what your story is about and you know what you are trying to say, but you include a lot of unnecessary information. As professional literary agent Nathan Bransford put it, the synopsis should convey the "spirit" of the story. Your synopsis contains too many details. In some instances you list where you should generalize. You also have a /lot/ of grammatical errors that need to be taken care of immediately.
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Here are some examples of lists. A person can reasonably deduce that “household duties” includes attending to the children, cooking and cleaning. It does not help to convey the “spirit” of the story. You need to cut these passages down to single sentences /if/ you decide that they are important enough to leave in the synopsis at all.
"Because of William's rigorous work schedule, he relies on his wife to take care of most of all the duties of the household: The cooking, taking the children to and from school, attending the children's activities at school, and he even misses having dinner with the children sometimes."
"William hopes that Mallory will make good use of her time at home and will use her time to pitch in and help out at home, but is angered to return home one afternoon to a house full of trash, dirty dishes, and Mallory making out with her boyfriend on the living room sofa."
"Despite this, William tries to remain strong and continue being both dad and mom to his children, but he finds himself constantly failing miserably at it all: the cooking, the cleaning, the disciplining, the attendance of his children's activities, the job of taking his children to and from school, and being able to sit down and have dinner with them as a family at night."
"He spends one full afternoon on his knees and praying to God for help, help with Jennifer, help with his children and help with his self."
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The following passage should be removed all together. It’s one of many plot points in the book and does not help the synopsis. Professional literary agent Jessica Faust of Book Ends, LLC literary agency says: “The point of the synopsis is to give your reader—an agent, editor, or publicist—the KEY SELLING POINTS of your book.” An agent isn’t going to read this passage and say “Now /that’s/ what I’m looking for in a story!”
"As William ignores her christian talks and goes back to his routine of trying to play both dad and mom, he finds his obstacles get harder when both Mallory and Daria want him to be at both of their events at the same time and on the same day. As William tries to reason with his children, he finds it impossible to do so as both children demand for him to attend their events."
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You should also be careful about saying things like "As William rushes to the hospital, he discovers that Jennifer has suffered..." William didn't discover what happened AS he rushed to the hospital, he discovered what happened AFTER he arrived there.
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There are other instances where you add unnecessary information. The fact that they live in Los Angeles or that the husband is a contractor doesn’t add to KEY SELLING POINTS. It is possible to include this information, but only if the synopsis as a whole is very tight; otherwise it’s just extra information on top of more extra information. You have to remember that an agent is reading the synopsis to find out if you manuscript is interesting and marketable. An atheist husband coping with the tragedy of his injured wife and struggling to find God while caring for his two adolescent daughters is a KEY SELLING POINT. The fact that the wife took care of the cleaning and cooking and the fact that the husband now has to take care of those things is trivial compared to the big picture dilemma. If you feel it is absolutely necessary to add this information you must do it in a brief and to-the-point manner. You don’t want an agent to glaze over whole passages because you added too much info. You need to hammer the main/important points in every sentence. A good revision should cut your synopsis to half the length that it is right now.
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Be very careful about using cliches. As a matter of fact, try to avoid them all together. At one point you say that the husband "is at the end of his rope." Phrases like this are unoriginal and nonspecific. Read what literary agent Nathan Bransford had to say about cliches at this link:
http://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2008/01/dead-cliches.html ......................
When it comes to format make sure that you don't have spaces between paragraphs and indent the beginning of each paragraph. Almost all agents and publishers want 12 point font Times New Roman or Courier New, double spaced, with one inch margins (MS Word default is 1.25", so you'll have to change it) and do /not/ "justify" the text.
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Imagine that you're in an elevator with an agent and that the agent tells you that you have until the elevator reaches the lobby to verbalize the synopsis of your book. This is your chance, /the/ chance of a lifetime. Are you going to waste your precious half minute describing that the husband had to clean the dishes or that he got in an argument or that he had trouble at work? No. You are going to pour every ounce of feeling and emotion into the "heart" of the story; the "spirit" of the story. You are going to describe the tragedy, its /major/ effects on the story/characters and the ending.
Remember, the lobby is /not/ far away. Make your point and make it fast. There is no time to waste.
Sixth floor... fifth floor... fourth floor... third floor...
Are you wrapping it up or are you wishing you had more time (or floors)?