If it is expected, there is often closure, and no sense of things left unsaid. Go to http://www.mind.org.uk/
and type "grief" in the taskbar, and enter. Call: The Grief Recovery Institute (U.S.A.) 1-800-445-4808, or Hospice (phone book). Email firstname.lastname@example.org Chatrooms and forums: http://www.chatmag.com/topics/health/grief.html
Other websites: http://www.griefnet.org/
Understand that there are often several stages of grief.
The stages are:
1. Denial: The initial stage: "It can't be happening."
2. Anger: "Why ME? It's not fair?!" (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as "responsible")
3. Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my son graduate."
4. Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"
5. Acceptance: "It's going to be OK."
Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). This also includes the death of a loved one and divorce. Kübler-Ross also claimed these steps do not necessarily come in order, nor are they all experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two.
for books on the various stages. After a while, consider making a photoalbum/scrapbook and/or a shrine, in remembrance, and set aside one day per month on which to reflect. Many religious organisations offer counselling, or you may feel more comfortable with a therapist, to express your thoughts, and feelings. Journalling may help in this. If there is depression: visit your doctor, and see depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris
in section 2.
Suggested Resources on Grief and Mourning
James, J. W. & Friedman, R. (1998). The Grief Recovery Handbook, Collins. Grollman, E. (1995). Living when a Loved One has Died, Beacon Press.
Livingstone, B. (Planned August, 2007). The Body-Mind-Soul Solution: Healing Emotional Pain through Exercise, Pegasus Books.
Simon, S, & Drantell, J. J. (1998). A Music I No Longer Heard: The Early Death of a Parent.
Livingstone, B. (2002). Redemption of the Shattered: A Teenager's Healing Journey through Sandtray Therapy, http://www.boblivingstone.com/