Do you like my essay?

I entered an essay contest here are the rules: don't be afraid to critisize! Ever since I was a newborn, Idaho Falls has been the greatest city I’ve ever seen. I’ve lived here all my life and have loved it every second of it. It brings me great pleasure to write about what sets this town apart from other towns. And also to discover what it might be like twenty-five years ago. There are many ways that set Idaho Falls apart from other Idaho cities. One of them includes an ever popular sport, skiing. Idaho Falls is prime distance from many of the greatest skiing spots in the world. Such as: Grand Targhee, Kelly Canyon, and perhaps the most famous of all, Sun Valley. Another reason is the strong, family oriented community. It just warms your heart when you see a food drive or someone helping the homeless. 25 years from now Idaho Falls will be even greater! I’m betting Idaho Falls will be more industrialized, but will still have a living ecosystem that other major cities do not. In fact, Idaho Falls will have doubled in population and size. Also, I deduce that Idaho Falls residents will realize to preserve the environment and not intoxicate it with pollution. Idaho Falls is cleaner than a whistle. What a treat it will be to live in our town 25 years later! By then everyone will be happy and secure in a larger city. More businesses will surface and offer more jobs. This will help the poor realize their potential and obtain jobs of their own. Idaho Falls will be more fun than a barrel of monkeys. Because of all these reasons Idaho Falls can and will become an even better city. It will evolve into a healthy and prosperous town. In conclusion, Idaho Falls is, and will be one of the greatest places to live in all of Idaho.

Asked By: Octagon M - 6/7/2008
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I don't see anything wrong with it. Good luck!
Answered By: frogman - 6/7/2008
Additional Answers (1)
The only thing i might change is the second paragraph. I would make the third and fourth sentence all one sentence, but as for the rest of the essay, I loved it! It had lots of detail and meaning. I hope you win! Keep up the good work! 0:-)
Answered By: kimichocolate - 6/7/2008
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