I'm filing for divorce at husband's request and am very worried about his threats. Anyone have info or exp?
My husband's alcoholism has gone from bad to worse, causing constant fighting and arguing. He told me to file for divorce, which was not what I really wanted. We are still in the same house. It is in my name alone, bought before the marriage, and he signed a quit claim leaving it as my sole and separate property when I refinanced. I have been responsible for the mortgage payment and most bills. I have used 100% of my net pay on taking care of the bills (over $5000 a month). He would put in about $300 a week for groceries, outings, and gas, when he felt like it. I am being nice by not getting a restraining order. He is very abusive, and there are about 10 incident reports with the sheriff's dept. I don't want to force him out, evict him, or anything like that. But my daughter and I can't even live in peace because he comes to her room to harrass me every single evening (I stay in her room since we only have 2 bedrooms) Here are the main financial details. I refinanced when prices were high. The value has dropped about 150K from 360K to 210K, and I owe 219K, so there's no equity in the house whatsoever. There are also loans, credit cards, and car payments. The credit cards are all in my name because of his bad credit, but he has used them and accrued thousands in debt, which he has never tried to pay. The debt is about 110K. I am currently able to pay all of the bills, and with some adjustments, probably do so even without any of his income, since he gave me so little. To me it seems like if he went after the house (my sole and separate property), we would both owe about 110K to pay off the mortgage and another 50K to pay the bills. To me it just seems like leaving my house to me and letting me assume all the debts makes more sense. He can easily live off his income in an apartment, and have money left over. But he says he will get alimony because he is used to vacations, Lakers games, and other things. He says his parents are hiring a lawyer because he is getting half the house (that has no equity), alimony because he is used to a certain lifestyle (even though 2 years of our 6 year marriage were spent in prison), and he is going to make sure that my daughter and I have no where to go. What could a lawyer possibly do to benefit him in this situation? There is no equity and no money, but there is over 100k in debt. He is making so many threats that I feel like I will be on the streets. Why would a lawyer want a case like this? If you have any experience with this or know anything about this from a legal standpoint, please please share your infomation with me. I will greatly appreciate it.
Asked By: Lakersangel - 8/28/2008
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
When i first read this i thought that you were my ex-husbands newer wife for the past 6 years. Seriously. Then i read it's a two bedroom home and knew you weren't her... More
Answered By: Brianna - 8/28/2008
Additional Answers (10)
It's your house, tell him to get the hell out. If you leave he can take it. since he has a drinking problem, have him committed cause he's not in his right mind and as his wife you can do that. don't let him get the best of you.
Answered By: sillyredhead - 8/28/2008
Before you file, you need to get a lawyer. He may want you to file because in your state that may give him an advantage. In any case, if the divorce is not going to be a friendly one, it is vital to have a lawyer defending your rights. I can't really say what he would gain by having a lawyer, but you stand to lose a... More
Answered By: Mr. Stiggo - 8/28/2008
If I were you I would call the police and have him evicted from the house. Then I would file a order of protection... More
Answered By: Smalls - 8/28/2008
Lawyers are there to be your advocate and guide through the legal system even if you're the "bad guy". You better be sure you have a good one to make sure things go smoothly for you and your daughter. I'm sure I missed it in there somewhere - but why are you still living together?? Today - get a lawyer. Tomorrow put... More
Answered By: Noccie - 8/28/2008
Quit being nice, nice guys finish last. You should have done it all at once because you're at a disadvantage. If your dad is living and close or you have a brother or someone to watch out for you I'd ask for help... More
Answered By: Mike R - 8/28/2008
sad story. maybe you can one day leave a letter saying i left you and cut all the credit card things and go live with your daughter. and get a bike and not a car. save the world go green. and if you see him in a parking lot kick his ass or spray some of those pepper spray or something on to him. oh yeah they are called... More
Answered By: bettie boop - 8/28/2008
Get a lawyer, and they will set you straight as far as the divorce split goes in your state... More
Answered By: my avatar is hot but I'm not - 8/28/2008
I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I had both an alcoholic mother and father and I know how much pain, anxiety, and helplessness that you must feel... More
Answered By: Deece 1 - 8/28/2008
You need to immediately consult a family law attorney licensed in your state. Each state has different rules and norms regarding property settlement, alimony, etc... More
Answered By: Phil R - 8/28/2008
Wow what a problem you have. I say that you file a restraining order just to protect you and your child. I think your first mistake was getting everything in you name. Now he can spend the money because he knows that you will pay for it. take a stand the fight for you rights. File for divorce and a restraining... More
Answered By: lonhsally - 8/28/2008
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