She sounds to me like a toxic parent.
Distance yourself from her.
If she's bi polar, you can't reason with her.
You can educate yourself about bi polar disorder though and gain a better understanding about how people with this react and what attributes she displays (apathy, easily aggitated, low energy etc) that can be attributed to the brain disorder...just so you understand.
Warning: The female passes the recessive gene...so keep that in mind when monitoring any future health / emotional concerns you may have about your own status.
Try to feel compassion but, at the same time, you must realize that you are not responsible for her well being...preserve your own well being and peace of mind.
If she is on disability, then she should be provided with adequate cash to sustain herself without your charity.
She needs maybe to see her doctor and get on some more effective medication.
Perhaps you can contact her doctor and explain what is happeneing...she may need to be re-evaluated.
It's her illness that makes her like this.
I don't think she can help it.
I feel sorry for her that she has this...but dealing with a person who is severely bi polar is too big a task for a non-professional and it sounds like you are feeling so oppressed and taken advantage of...so distancing yourself from her is your best option. You're too emotionally involved and vulnerable to even try to deal with this--as you clearly are sustaining emotional damage from the effects of her illness...so best to go and reclaim your independance and joy of living--and do so guilt free.
There's nothing you can do but show her (from a safe distance) that you do love her--nevertheless.
This is a job for the professionals.
Maybe just stay in touch enough to let her know you love her such as sending her Xmas, birthday and Mothers day cards...and the rare and very short visit.
Trying to rationalize though...it will be a fruitless endevor.
She's not a well woman...and surely she derives no pleasure from that existance she is trapped in. I can only imagine that to lose ones emotional and mental faculties must be a very frightening and disheartening situation.
I'm sure she wasn't always like this.
Please try not to hate her.
Hate the disease.
One thing I am failry sure of is that there are councilling/support groups out there for children and family of the mentally ill...(kind of like how there's Alanon for family of alcoholics), which can help you to understand and cope with this ailing Mom of yours.
Call you local mental health hospital and make an inquiry.
(PS-there's also something called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She may also have this from what I am reading in your description...this and bi polar combined.)
Here's a link to NPD so you can look at the symptoms and see about the (lack of) effective treatment out there...
" NPD interferes with people's functioning in their occupations and in their relationships:
Mild impairment when self-centered or egotistical behavior results in occasional minor problems, but the person is generally doing pretty well.
Moderate impairment when self-centered or egotistical behavior results in: (a) missing days from work, household duties, or school, (b) significant performance problems as a wage-earner, homemaker, or student, (c) frequently avoiding or alienating friends, (d) significant risk of harming self or others (frequent suicidal preoccupation; often neglecting family, or frequently abusing others or committing criminal acts).
Severe impairment when self-centered or egotistical behavior results in: (a) staying in bed all day, (b) totally alienating all friends and family, (c) severe risk of harming self or others (failing to maintain personal hygiene; persistent danger of suicide, abuse, or crime)."
I wish you a life of peace, harmony and joy.
You've done all you can.
You're a good daughter.
Answered By: . - 11/17/2008