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Is the poem I wrote any good?

I know I posted this already, but I wanted a little more feedback. thanks to all : ) Murder of the Baron Let us start our case By merely stating this: The detective that was on it, Surly was the best. The detective in our story, Never thrown for any loop, Was the brilliant man, Inspector Thomas Jupe. Our mystery: a murder, And inheritance disputes. He was a wealthy man, Baron Amos Schutts. Let us join him now, No, not Schutts, of course, But inspector Jupe, Entering through the mansion doors. Thank you Mr. Jeeves, For keeping everyone right here. Make sure no one leaves, The murderer is near. While Inspector Jupe inspects the room, Where Mr. Schutts was shot, I’ll list all visitors here, And any motives that they’ve got. He had three children visiting, Though his wife has long been past. Also here; a nephew, And a son-in-law for last. Let us start with his youngest child, Which is his only daughter. Married to the son-in-law, They’re Mr. and Mrs. Potter. Mr. Potter lost his job, And their money was all spent. Though they begged the greedy baron, No money had been lent. His second son, like him, Was a business man. But the baron soon found out, About his deal done under hand. Though the baron’s wealth, Was enormously immense. He blackmailed his son, At not a small expense. His second son was Edward, If you didn’t know. Now his eldest son; A gambling man named Joe. The baron knew he gambled, And knew he couldn’t pay. So he had lent him money, In a loan shark sort of way. The difference with the Potters, And his gambling son; The potters would soon pay the debt, But a gamblers never done. Now to the youngest of the group, The nephew Harry Lullan. He sent the first draft of his novel, Which Mr. Schutts has stolen. These are the residents, residing within, The residence we’re at. Also their motives which motivate, One for this murderess act. Inspector Jupe has not left, A single unlocked door. All of this he has found, All of this and more. “Tell me, Jeeves, was Mr. Schutts, In the habit of drinking tea? Did he drink it in the parlor, Or in the library?” “In this room he had his tea, Never missed a night, I think. You know who the culprit is?” Jeeves gave Jupe a wink. “Gather everyone, Tell them I’ll be down. Tell them to sit tight, The murderer is found.” He came then down the stairs, In his solemn sort of way, Looked them all in the eye, Before they heard him say: “Mr. and Mrs. Potter, I know your money troubles. And of your gambling Joe, And how your debt it doubles. I know of blackmail, Edward, Also of your deals. Harry here’s your novel, I read it; it appeals. But the murderer, Though your motives may be strong, Is not one of you, As I’ve suspected all along.” Then he turned and looked at Jeeves, With a twinkle in his eye. “Soon you would be fired, But did the baron have to die?” Jeeves was stunned and shocked, But had to face the facts. “Years of loyal service, And this, my payment back! Yes I murdered him, But one thing I cannot see. How then did you know, That the murderer was me?” “The teapot in his room was full, As if murdered in the night. The newspaper though, on which it sat, Ran today’s date up in the right. You had told me you had found him, When the morning came. When I saw the paper, I doubted then your claim. Plus it’s pretty obvious, I practically have said it. It’s such a classic answer, That ‘The butler did it’”.

Asked By: Ezekiel W - 1/16/2009
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
A very cleverly written piece, I managed through it quite well. Seems to maintain a pretty good beat troughout, although I was not counting. Do you write much?
Answered By: *Maddamselflies Eyes* - 1/16/2009
Additional Answers (4)
seems pretty good keep um coming
Answered By: Fasty F - 1/16/2009
 
That is the most AWESOME poem i have ever seen!
Answered By: Evilkerby - 1/16/2009
 
THAT'S A AWESOME POEM!
Source(s):
Answered By: Star <3 - 1/16/2009
 
Wow! I love it! Like most poems do, it kept me interesting and wanting to read through the whole thing. Keep writing, your talented.
Answered By: Cassidy - 1/16/2009
 
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