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How do I cope with a life of debt?

I am 31 year old woman who works full time. I earn a good salary for my position and although I hate my job with a passion it wouldnt be wise to move just yet. Since I was old enough to get a credit card I have had debt! This started when I lived in London and couldnt keep up with the lifestyles of colleagues and friends. I then had to buy a new car as my other died on me and I had to insure it fully comp/biz because of my job so this add to the debt. Then I was duped by a solicitors firm who promises me 9k and all i got was 1k, i took a risk to get on the property ladder by borrowing 5k. I then moved into house and found it needed loads of repairs,,, now I am in negative equity.
My salary covers all my outgoings and debt BUT this is going to be the case for years and years. I have consolidated it but cant do it anymore. i have a wonderful partner who is older than me and we have just found out we cannot have kids (not that I would be able to afford them) so what do I make of my life now??? stuck in doors for years to come trying to keep up with my partners life. its making me down in the dumps and I keep wishing for them lotto numbers to pop up (dont everyone) but it aint going to happen.
i dont dream about being rish i dream about how my life is going to be stuck in doors day in day out! not very stimulating is it. wouldnt debt management black list me, my friend is on this and she pays something about 90 quid a month for owing 40k but she is black listed now.
i no longer live in london but in the countryside, i buy my clothes from primark not prada!

Asked By: Genuine Person! - 1/21/2009
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
You sound like someone that needs a hobby or something else to focus your mind on, apart from dreaming of being rich.

Still keep doing the lottery though, just in case.
Answered By: Un PC Scooby Doo 3 - 1/21/2009
Additional Answers ()
You could consider a debt management plan for budgetting, but the debts will not go away. The only way to get debts cancelled legally is if they are on credit cards or personal loans taken out before 1 April 2007. The website www.bdebtfree.info will help you do this.
Answered By: evie - 1/25/2009
Work towards getting rid of the debt. Live within your means, and don't get credit unless you have to. Cut up the credit cards and get a debit card. Im 27, and ive managed to live without any debt except a student loan. I have had to live within my means though, going without certain things. And learn to live by saving, as sad as it is, I find it kinda fun!
Answered By: Sparky Gin and Tonic - 1/22/2009
Would a debt management plan not be easier for you at least you would have money to live on after paying the debt and its one lower payment it may take a long time but you will be debt free in five years
Answered By: rennickelizabe - 1/22/2009
Stop borrowing money to buy things.
Stop feeling the need to "keep up with the lifestyles of colleagues and friends."
You don't need to keep up with your partner's life either. A walk in the park is just as much fun as going to a fancy restaurant ($$$$).

You don't really need another pair of shoes or the most trendy "accessories."
Answered By: emucompboy - 1/22/2009
First write down all your out goings, eg rent rates etc, then collect all recepts that you purchase for a month, then look at the receipts and decide what you did not need, the following month do not buy them, thenuse the money that you saved to pay the debt.
I did this and paid off loads
Answered By: helly - 1/22/2009
The bookstore has wonderful books.
My two favorites are:
Dave Ramsey
Credit repair for dummies.
You can do this yourself. You can do this.
/
Answered By: Judy - 1/22/2009
Theres plenty of people out there who are in debt and are just digging a deeper hole for themselves by getting into more debt.

If you dont do nothing about it now imagine how bad you will fill this time next year or in 5 years, if you get my point?

Get help now, speak to someone in your local area?
Answered By: Boontee - 1/22/2009
1. Cut out all the stuff that you don't need. Such as alcohol and cigarettes.
2. Sell unwanted stuff to make a bit of cash instead of keeping it.
3. Don't buy anything which you can't afford - Don't buy anything if it means you're going to use your credit card. Are you sure you need to buy it?


Do you turn off the lights when you leave a room? Do you make sure your computer or T.V is turned off when you're not using it? Have you got double glazed windows? Do you wear an extra layer of clothing rather than turning the heating up high? - These things can save you money.
Answered By: No name. - 1/22/2009
For years I lived with nothing material
Simply because I coudn't afford to
So I learned how to love my husband and family
and was glad I did when a 93 year old aunt passed away last sunday
She lived through the great depression as a single mom
and told me what she had to go thru.and I loved her for it
Incidently my grandparent lost their first home during same time due to bank failure
So you are not the first one to suffer as such
Your lesson would be to not put your eggs in one nest maybe
This has happened in my family where skilled men have had to become nurses at local hospital
We live in the US rust belt where factories have been closing since the 80's.
But dispondency is not the answer
Maybe you need to reinvent yourself and your policies
People buy houses all the time so maybe you can get rid of yours even at a loss
and at least find something you are happier at
Being frugal and living lean is nothing to be ashamed of, but despondency can lead to depression and that leads to health problems
I coudn't do what you are doing
I would have to put my chin up and walk away from all but spouse and start over no matter what the circumstances
Because I and he are more important to me than job and house
But I have spent a lifetime with my back to the wall.
And I would adopt if I could
..may I suggest going to church and praying a little?
My heart bleeds for you
but this is not the end of the world
You must ask yourself where you draw the line and how hi your stamina level is
and you will have your answers my dear....
Answered By: spundtucker - 1/22/2009
I understand that you are in a depressing situation, having been there myself in the past. Take heart there is light at the end of the tunnel. You should not try to learn to live with debt, but rather deal with the debt and you will be happier in all areas of your life. Just taking positive steps will make you feel better.

To deal with your situation,you will have to change your whole approach to finances and spending. Don't let pride or anything stop you from dealing with the problem. I suggest that you contact the Consumer Credit Counselling Service with out delay. They give good, free and helpful advice and help to deal with your creditors. Their phone no 0800 138 1111, web address, http://www.cccs.co.uk/. You can call or go through their debt remedy tool on site.

Hope all goes well.
Answered By: BBBB - 1/22/2009
You may not want to consider a debt management plan but to me it seems like a good option.

I got into debt and it spiralled out of control and I had to take a debt management plan from Payplan (they don't charge a fee and they're very helpful). My total debt was around £13,000 and I could not afford all the monthly payments even by negotiating lower payments.

With Payplan I pay £167.11 a month and this is distributed to my creditors. They deal with all the queries, I no longer receive menacing phonecalls from the credit card companies and any letters are forwarded to Payplan for them to deal with.

Also, Payplan negotiate with them to freeze interest which makes paying off each balance even easier.

I took out the plan in September 2007 and paying £167.11 will take me about 6 - 7 years to become debt free. However, I intend to make bigger payments because now I'm in a stable financial situation and I can afford to do so.

When a debt management plan is taken out you receive default notices which is like a big cross through your credit file. These are removed after 6 years. So by the time I have repaid all my creditors the default notices will be removed, and I will be totally debt free.

Right now I can't take out credit for ANYTHING but I don't want to or need to. I have learnt my lesson big time, and now if I can't afford something I don't get it. It's as simple as that.

A debt management plan really isn't as bad as you think.
Answered By: blondie - 1/22/2009
Join the crowd ,did you learn ,if you did,now the healing can begin.if you learned,you have found that keeping up with the jones' is just a road to debt ,you might have also learned the jones' are in a financial mess also. tighten your belt you have made your bed ,cut out frivolous expenditures. if you are living in a home that is cheaper than renting ,then you can afford to stay there even if your loan is top heavy.forget the lottery,forget any scheme that will erase your debt tomorrow ,you need real discipline
Answered By: tholeeder - 1/22/2009
The best thing to do will be to go for an IVA, then the debt should be written off in five years.
Answered By: Paula O - 1/22/2009
Answered By: taz c - 1/21/2009
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