My goals are goin to take many, many years to accomplish, - should i GIVE UP?
Plus my age to, 31 and the fact im so disadvantaged in life, by now i should be doing x yz , i feel so left behind....ive missed out all my life ..
basically my biggest goal still is to emigrate from the uk to a DISTANT hot country , somewhere coastal and outside of europe ? think of anywhere with an easy immigration policy ?
basically that is my only goal left....how can i fullfil this when ive been dependant all my life upon the system ?
Should i give up because i cant take it anymore ? because my goals are to far away & difficult to reach?
I wish there was a ' quick, easy ' way to achieve my goals - i cant bare it , can someone help ?
people are acting like its the end of the road for me, sad expressions, like im a pitiful creature.....like im not gonna make it.. i dont wanna be veiwed as a charity case
i dont wanna stay in the uk where everyone in the local commuinty has preconceptions of me and treats me as an outcast because of my rage problems in the past..
my looks are just ' not there ' anymore --- life stress has really taken its toll on me, ive aged in my face prematurly, im bald so i have head shaved.
im 31 been through a hard life but my goals in life are still : to get a decent paid job in IT computers, then to move away from england , move over seas to a distant hot country , somewhere near the coast, someplace pretty distant from the uk.
but i picture a long, difficult , hard path, with set backs, disappointments and disadvantages...
this is my present situation :
i am waiting for an operation to repair torn ankle ligaments due to an injury a year ago, will be in plaster for 6 weeks afterwards..
in general i have had a tough unfortunate life , missed out on everything : forming friendships / relationships , being employed , getting qualifications , doing anything , just having a life.
youve lived all your life on disability, live in a one bedroomed small apartment owning very few possessions.
suffer with borderline personality and ptsd , are not getting the therapy i want, which is psychotherapy because of no resources or funding, are dependent on the mental health system for help.
ive been in jail in the past, have a criminal record 8 years ago, been in a mental hospital which you never should of gone to but did because you were crying out for help when you were a juvenile.
those are my basic circumstances in the present, and all i can think about are my goals of leaving, never coming back.....but i feel overwhelmed thinking how ama get there , its gonna be long and difficult and im already 31......it might take too long.
plus i simply do not want to tough it out in england long term.....i think i will slay myself or commit suicide , otherwise , how can i survive whilst im here ?
ive aged prematurly in my face, look everyone of my 31 years if not older.....bald with shaved head etc.
if i dont achieve my goals i wont be able to handle it, i will go to the nearest coastline in the uk, on the south coast , to a remote cliff top , get very drunk, and throw myself into the atlantic but first cut my neck open.
Asked By: beau ɧyɛɳa eʃ con∂or - 1/28/2009
to put it simply [i'm sure everyone has said this already on here] -
"Your never too old to achieve your goals" & "it's better late than never"
yeah...you did mess up in the past and you probably made some wrong decisions and stuff...but that definetly doesn't mean you can't start over NOW.
if you don't want to stay in the uk then try applying for visa in the us or for canada [i heard its easy to get citizenship there]. it might take time for the application to be processed, but in the mean time you can try fixing up your life.
if you want to get a good & stable job....then try going to school or find ways that will help you in the field you want to go into.
if you want to go into IT computers [i'm guessing that means computer softwares?] ...then take the right courses at your local college to lead your to this goal. it might take a while...but it will be worth it.
[sorry, i don't know how the uk school system works, but in the u.s. there are community colleges where ANYONE at ANY age and at ANY level can go to to take classes and pretty much become ANYTHING if they try hard enough]..so try to find something like that over there. if you need help then ask around for help or go see counselors and stuff to help you build your career pathway.
my advice is...see your counselor at least once every other week and tell her how your doing in your classes and what you need to do next and how you will do it in order to get into IT computers. your counselor should be one of the FEW people who should know about your aggresive past life, and i'm sure she will help you out.
[and don't be shy to ask for help just because your old...if you don't get help and clarification NOW..then you are basically willing to put your life MORE behind]
But for right now...get a good job [not like working at a fast food restaurant..but more of a corporate job]
getting a good job will help you in finding a nice relationship. if you have low-self esteem and are making your life out as a third class piece of shiit...then sorry, you will find all the wrong girls to get with.
your trying to re-invent yourself...women may ask about your life when your on dates...just tell them the truth and also tell them that your now trying to fix yourself up and explain to them how your doing it.
oh...you say that the local colleges look at you badly...well, why exactly do you tell everyone and flaunt out all your negative characteristics??? ...you can always apply to a different local college... your going to college to improve your life, NOT to burden yourself in a deeper black hole.
your goals are NOT far away...your just not doing anything to actually aachieve them...
If your worried about how you look...then why don't you try some type of cream to help make your age [wrinkles?] look less visible...you can always go to a mall and ask for assistance on what type of products you should use to help you look younger. As for your hair...some people find shaved heads attractive...but if it bothers you so much...then why don't you find out the cost of how much a hair transplant is? or you could use Rogaine [do they sell that in the uk?]
i don't know if your on welfare [welfare is when your low on money, so the government helps you out]...but if you are then that means you probably don't have a lot of money to work with...so why don't you try organizing your financial stuff based on your priorities...like don't waste money on beer or too many social hangouts and stuff.
basically...i hope you read everything i wrote here [because i rad everything you did]...but you need to take action now in order to get a better life later.
in fact...to make your life easier, do this RIGHT NOW:
1 -take out a lined piece of paper
2 -number it 1 to 20
3 -write down ALL your goals [financial, living location, career, the way you want to look, etc.]
4 -so now you listed your goal, now next to each goal write down things that you can do to achieve them.
heres is an example:
1. get out of uk [call immigration and find out how i can apply for visa to some place and how much is it and how long will the application take to process]
2. aging face [get creams and use them everyday]
3. bald head [call hair transplant people to find out how much they cost]
4. get a IT Computers job [ask local college counselor on what all I can do to help achieve goal
5. stop people from thinking i am a charity case [get a stable job, don't get into fights, stop telling everyone about my hideous past]
6. raise my self-esteem [get a good group of people to hang with and always keep in touch with family in some way]
7. overcome disability factor [i'm sorry about your torn ligament btw...but lots of people (especially in sports) get torn ligaments...so don't stress over this]
8. get out of crappy one bedroom apartment [call arounf different areas to find how much an apartment rents for or try to make existing apartment look nicer and more homely on the inside]
9. get a car [idk if you have one already...but use public transportation until you have enough money to buy a cheap & in a good condition car]
10. stop being dependent [your being dependent on all the wrong things...take the dependency for you advantage and ask for help on everything and anything that you have problems with]
...so basically that was an example....NOW GO DO THAT on a lined piece of paper and actually follow it through!
i'm sorry if I sound like a counselor [i'm not]...but you should seriously stop thinking your life has gone down the drain....you need to take action NOW to change your life.
one last thing...
people who try hard early in their lives to make a stable future for themselves [like doctors and lawyers] go through A LOT of crazy ass hardships in the begining and they also feel like they want to get drunk and go kill themselves...but they still go after their goals...and in the end they reach their goals and that helps them have a great life after such hardship.
then we have people like you [kind of]...i say "kind of" because you actually recognized that you need to change.
these people take their life easy and have fun or make all the wrong choices in the begining of their lives...and then they end up gaining nothing out of that and have to work hard later on in life because they didn't during the begining.
your only 31 [that sounds old to me cuz i'm actually wayyy younger] but the truth is that it actually isn't that old yet...if you were like 50, then i'd say "yeah, your a charity case" ...but your not, so take a stand now and get on with your life.
hope that helps!
p.s.: don't k***********f...its not worth it!
Answered By: <3 - 1/28/2009