Can someone please edit my essay on homelessness?

Homelessness is a social problem that concerns many social workers because it affects people’s well being. The definition of homelessness can vary. It includes not only those who are living on the streets or in shelters and hotels but also those who are living in temporary accommodation or in housing that is unfit for human conditions. There are at least 600,000 homeless men, women, and children in the United States. But one-third of this population is composed of families with children. I’m sure everyone has seen this- people driving by and watching people sleeping on the sidewalks, underneath bridges or at park benches. Or you see someone with a sign saying “I’m hungry, have no money, and need food.” This is really sad because most people assume that people that are homeless are bumbs, drug addicts, or mentally-ill. But that is not true. Some are driven into homelessness simply by bad choices, i.e. sedentary lifestyles (alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc). A very small and yet significant portion is as a result of cost of living outweighing personal income or due to loss of a job. More and more people that are homeless are women and children. On the one hand, the government should get involved with this issue. But the government is more involved with issues like building better roads and infrastructure. What about those people that are homeless that need the government’s help? But the government never seems to get involved with this situation. I would take a different approach on this issue. My plan would be to develop and create a “hotel-like” building to accommodate all the homeless in different parts of the world where it is more prevalent. The most important objective would be to create a “get back on your feet plan” which will be individually set up with objectives and goals for each individual. Each person would receive counseling to help them with their individual needs. For example, a homeless person who was addicted to drugs would be rehabilitated and helped with his or her addiction. A person who lost their home to financial issues can be counseled about financial planning. The plan would also provide them with family contact if they do not know or are unable to reach their family members. Best of all, we will act as an agency to recruit job opportunities for them, and stay with them completely until they have found a job. For those who don’t have an education, learning opportunities and school trade certifications classes will be provided to them. With the most of that help, it seems as if we can accomplish the “end of homelessness” mission but it is not that easy. One voice is not enough to complete this task. Citizens should be put first. It is important that us fortunate ones get involved in some way to help these people of this situation. All it takes are small contributions and involvement that can make a difference in their lives.

Asked By: Kyla - 2/8/2009
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
First of all, indent each paragraph. Look at your story. Wherever you see you go in another direction from the previous sentence make a new paragraph. Use your spell-checker to edit the words that you have miss-spelled. You have a good essay and I would not do anything other than what I have told you.
Answered By: moose - 2/8/2009
Additional Answers (1)
The first sentence blows. P1S3 don't start a sentence with but. in P1S5 you say This is really sad. that is a shit adjective, sad. The second paragraph just sucks. Hobo Hotels? Are you f*****g kidding me. Who is going to pay for it. There will never be an end to homelessness. There will always be a low end of the bell... More
Answered By: Lumbalth - 2/8/2009
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