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People think we're teen parents.?

Just wondering, how would you all deal with this? Me and my girlfriend are 25 and 26 years old. We have been together many years, and as athiests we have decided not to get married, unless maybe it is from a Shaman or something. We both just feel it is disrespectful for us to get married in a church. Anyway, we have a child together (newborn), and we both look very young for our age. I smoked up until about 6 months ago, and I would still get carded everywhere I went. In fact, people often thought my ID was fake when I was purchasing cigarettes or alcohol. Anyway, she has the exact same problem. If we go out to the wine bar together, we get carded every single time. People say we both look about 17 years old. So, I have a very good job, and she is basically a stay at home mom right now, but we are both educated and she also had a very good job. I dropped $1,200 for us to head to a very fancy resort in Sedona for Valentines weekend. I work in a very casual environment (programmer), and I do not have any dress slacks and shirts. We went to Macys tonight so I could get some shoes, slacks, and shirts. We walked around the store for a about 45 minutes without a single salesperson approaching us. After 45 minutes or so I asked a salesperson for some assistance finding black pants with no pinstripes. He then said "we are in a rather expensive section, follow me." I followed him and he took me to the area where pants are $20 on sale. I didn't say anything. After finally finding everything I needed I went to the checkout. The guy at checkout gave me a really great discount (which was awesome), because he had a kid at 17, and he knows what it is like to be a teen parent. When we go out with our kid we get really terrible looks, and I see people talking. We live in a upper-middle class white/republican area of Phoenix. It's really bothering me the way we're being treated. How would you all handle this? P.S.: We are both 1/2 Mexican as well, with me being a little darker. I have dealt with salespeople following me around stores until I was about 18, but that has been years. I do not think this is discrimination though. I really just think we're looked down upon, even though the fact is that we probably have a lot more financial stability than the salespeople at Macys. Tonight I was wearing a collared Calvin Klein dress shirt with a well-fitted pair of jeans. Now, I typically do not dress like this because I like to dress casual, and I'm not going to change that for anyone. I'm from Portland, OR where people are far more interested in who you are rather than what you have. Substance over style, that sort of thing. People still wear flannel up there, but the personalities and conversations are so much better than here. Anyway, I really hope it's not due to the fact that we're Mexicans, because I have never really felt that type of discrimination before. Then again, there's a lot more of that discrimination here in Phoenix than there was back in Portland, so it is a real possibility. Also, we were carded when we went to see the movie "The Strangers" at the mall. It was the "scary" movie with Liv Tyler... Rated R : ) Hm, guess I will just have to upgrade my clothing, even though I just said I would never. I never have dressed in baggy pants, or Hollister, or anything. I often wear shirts with Ghandi quotes though, so I assume those will have to be lazing around the house clothes now. Thank you for all the answers everyone! Hm, guess I will just have to upgrade my clothing, even though I just said I would never. I never have dressed in baggy pants, or Hollister, or anything. I often wear shirts with Ghandi quotes though, so I assume those will have to be lazing around the house clothes now. Thank you for all the answers everyone! One final update, two pictures for reference. This is how I dress, the one with hat being more typical for me. Also, as you can see I don't really look that Mexican... <a href="http://img11.imageshack.us/my.php?image=22790444co7.jpg" target="_blank">me1</a><br /> <a href="http://img264.imageshack.us/my.php?image=me2ve2.jpg" target="_blank">me2</a> didn't work, here goes... http://img264.imageshack.us/my.php?image=me2ve2.jpg AND, http://img11.imageshack.us/my.php?image=37867731oq8.jpg Alright, man this is last edit. I just want to say that I do NOT think any parent should be treated like this unless they are a terrible parent. I am not saying that I shouldn't be treated this way, but teen parents should. Listen, we all have our own situations and I respect that. I have a nephew who had a kid at 17, and he's the best father I've ever seen. My girlfriends cousin had a baby at 14 (wow), and she went on to graduate law school at UCLA. So no, I don't think anyone should be treated this way, and it's just sad that so many in our society are so quick to judge.

Asked By: Avantgarden - 2/10/2009
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I look a lot younger than I am, too, so I can relate. My first child was born when I was 26 and married - but whenever I took her out on my own, people assumed I was a single teen mother. We live in an upscale area, too - and I enrolled her in some baby gym classes, hoping to meet some other mothers from our... More
Answered By: Ashley - 2/10/2009
Additional Answers (14)
Well my friend in retail this happens all the time the best thing to do is ignore this and let them think what they want. Getting into their crappy behavior is not the right way... More
Answered By: dschmidty412 - 2/10/2009
 
for real its probably cause you're mexican.. seriously.
Answered By: awat - 2/10/2009
 
I know it's hard, but take it as a compliment. The longer you look young, the better... More
Answered By: Tweak - 2/10/2009
 
I can relate. I was 26 years old and about 8 months pregnant and I got carded for a rated R movie. I started laughing and asked the guy if he was serious. I was with my husband at the time and we were holding hands and he carded my husband too. Unfortunately for me, that seems like the last time I got carded. I'm... More
Answered By: Precious - 2/10/2009
 
hate to say this but it is discrimination, ageism to be specific... More
Answered By: tamara m - 2/10/2009
 
Well that does seem to be a problem. It's hard to be taken seriously in an adult environment when people don't think your an adult. I have a similiar problem since i'm a "little asian girl". I find that the best way to cope with this is .. and you may not like it .. but the honest best way is to revamp your *style... More
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Answered By: :) - 2/10/2009
 
Well, you can't really control other people's behavior. I'm 24 and just had a baby and I have similar problems with people think that I'm some single teen mother... More
Answered By: melheartsduckie - 2/10/2009
 
See, I'd be a little more confrontational than the other posters here... More
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Answered By: Tracy L - 2/10/2009
 
Update: Hey Sully. Your mean-spirited comment doesn't take into account that sometimes people just want to know what others out there in YahooLand think. Sometimes people just want to be reassured. SOMETIMES people just want to rant and blow off steam! What gives you the right to blast this guy for asking his... More
Answered By: Jen - 2/10/2009
 
Well, I have to deal with the same sort of thing. While I am only 19, people expect me to act like a typical 19 year old and be an annoying, disrespectful person. However I am far from that. But the way I look says otherwise. I am a rocker, so I have long hair, and my shirts have band names on them and such. So people... More
Answered By: Tony R - 2/10/2009
 
do you think it is acceptable for a teen parent to be treated like this? or are you just having a little rant because YOU are being treated like this? i am 19, and my partner is 22 in a few days. i get treated like this everywhere i go. i get shunned at mother baby places, because the parents are older (so therefore... More
Answered By: Maybe Baby!? - 2/10/2009
 
I get this all the time too. However, I am 27 next month and have THREE children, lol! They are 6,4 & 7months. I have dealt with this from when I fell pregnant with my daughter and still do now. I just walk confidently, hold my head high and know I have nothing to be ashamed of. People can think what they like and say... More
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Answered By: ~ Cindy V, mum of 3 ~ - 2/10/2009
 
It happens all the time - mexican or not, parents or not, if you look like you don't have money, salespeople will not approach you. there's been days i ran out of the house to go shopping looking like a mess while my husband stayed home with the kids - no one approached me to ask me if i needed help. however, if i go... More
Answered By: 2275c - 2/10/2009
 
this is why idiots like you should not be using yahoo answers. very stupid question... More
Source(s):
Answered By: SULLY - 2/10/2009
 
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