I lapsed in quitting my Pornography Addiction, and now I'm going to quit Yahoo! Answers.I just feel really bad?

I'm a twenty year-old guy, and since I was eleven I'd quickly developed an addiction for porn, which I didn't understand for the longest time. And then last December, when my laptop battery broke, it finally gave me a real opportunity to stop permanently. I actually didn't buy a new battery because I was afraid that I'd go back to watching it on the computer. So for about three months, I'd been completely porn-free. But yesterday, after I finished work at 6 AM (yes, in the morning), the first thing I did was bike to the nearby Circle K convenient store and buy a half gallon of milk, a carton of Tropicana juice, and this adult magazine called Club. I didn't really need the milk or the juice, but it made me feel less awkward buying the magazine. Anyway, I quickly went back to my place, and quickly put on the DVD that came with the magazine, and got off to it. When I was fantasizing, I thought of men, and I thought of women. So maybe I'm bisexual. Or maybe I'm bi-confused. Most likely I'm just this stupid, stupid, stupid dirty pervert who can't hold down a normal relationship. The thing I hate most about myself is that I always put on this false face, this show of arrogance and stubbornness because I'm weak inside. I hate that my life is so gray and dull, and I live day-to-day. I hate that I find college completely pointless and I can't find a full-time job. And I definitely hate realizing that I'm poor and ugly and I'll never be someone in life. I realize that I need porn because even if it's just for 10-20 minutes, it takes me to a world where there's so much beauty and everything feels natural and uncomplicated and good. And it's really the only thing that can give me a few minutes of not feeling empty. But it's not just for leisure or anything. I know that I'm addicted to it, without doubt.

Asked By: . - 2/18/2009
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I don't think a 20 year old guy buying an adult magazine means a person has an addiction. For the record, I like porn, and I view it a few times a week. Do I think this means I'm addicted to it? No, I think it means I'm single... More
Answered By: Mr. Johan - 2/18/2009
Additional Answers (7)
Aww, you poor thing... More
Answered By: Daoie. {teardropsδ} - 2/18/2009
You desperately need God, my friend. Why not give God a try? He loves you deeply, and wants you to come to Him. He will help you.
Answered By: Regina (SOC) - 2/18/2009 links to porn addiction
Answered By: Jess M - 2/18/2009
Samian, listen to your uncle Jack and your auntie angels. You are fine exactly as you are.
Answered By: The angels have the phone box. - 2/18/2009
I agree with Mr J on this one-he's pretty smart. You may be poor-lots of us are but you are beautiful and your life is at a point where you CAN and probably will be "someone in life" Stop beating yourself up over a natural act that we all do from time to time trust me its very very normal. (((Hug)))
Answered By: FallenAngel© Mrs.Oh Hai P3D - 2/18/2009
You know you're not the first and you won't be the last to get off on pornography. I accept that you feel there is something addictive/compulsive going on and when you talk of using it to cover a feeling of emptiness, you are talking of the classic addiction scenario (whether the addiction is alcohol, gambling, heroin... More
Answered By: Ambivalent Bittern PJA - 2/18/2009
When I was in the army, a few months after basic training, some Arabs started shooting at my unit. I was 18 years old, and it was the first time anyone had shot at me. I didn't want to die. I ducked behind my friend. I was supposed to cover him while he went to alert the sergeant. He died an excruciating death, and I... More
Answered By: RJ ✡ supports GEERT WILDERS - 2/18/2009
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