My wife,the self proclaimed "Little Debbie Bandit" steals snacks from gas stations.What should I do?
Every time she goes into a gas station or grocery store, she will steal a Little Debbie snack. She thinks its funny, and so did I at first. We started selling her stolen merchandise for 50% of the MSRP on the black market. She brings the treats into work and sells them out of her cubicle. Her business is going so well as she has made over $4.85 in the past 2 weeks. She is even thinking of starting her own website called "Small Debra's House of Treats". She has gotten caught up in the drug scene though. She has been sniffing Sharpie markers, and she is even using White-Out. I keep telling her that her drug habit is getting in the way of our profit margin, but she refuses to listen. I ask her why she just doesnt steal the Sharpies and White-Out, and she says "Because they aren't Little Debbie Snacks, what are you, retarded?". Should I leave her for someone that steals more expensive things? Or should I get a job?
Asked By: Sir Bartholomew - 3/9/2009
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Man, you gotta stop her!! This happened to someone I know and Little Debbie came after her. Not really her, just her "people"- you know "the family". You might have heard of them, thought they were a myth- an urban legend- but I assure you, they are NOT! In the beginning L.D. ( as she likes to be known), was just small... More
Answered By: Karen S - 3/9/2009
Additional Answers (9)
Feed her before you go out?
Answered By: Rose Victoria - 3/9/2009
hahahaha you should write books for real this is funny stuff!! but get a job!
Answered By: ohio2of1kind - 3/9/2009
yes, leave her for a klepto that steals something of value... :)
Answered By: bluesixx drive - 3/9/2009
Your choice ! .
Answered By: ♀ Gσтнι¢ яσмαи¢є ♀ - 3/9/2009
Usually, when I read a novel, I can find something redeeming in it. You just proved the exception to that rule... (Actually, I had a good laugh...you WERE kidding, right?!)
Answered By: everybody's got one - 3/9/2009
Should you get a job....are you crazy?? Let your wife bring home the bacon...even if it is stolen....Hell I'm no mathematician but I'd say that $4.85 in 2 weeks is real money right there. And tell your wife the real fun is snorting chalk or even better smoking play-doe joints. As far as your money is concerned how... More
Answered By: NotASlutBucket - 3/9/2009
havent you divorced her over the silly clock business? tut tut this woman is no good for you! leave her for me, i steal much prettier and more expensive things... like school blackboards and funny hats ^.^
Answered By: Princess Precious - 3/9/2009
hahahahahahaha, you should publish this stories in a newspaper every week. You could make some money by selling them to the newspaper, they are really fun and entertaining.
Answered By: chato - 3/9/2009
Let her go man. You know, the only women who bring in the big bucks are the ink injecting ones. And don't let me catch you say the J-word again. Only men without good women need one of those.
Answered By: Rey [Where cool comes to die] - 3/9/2009
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