Share

What's your definition of a *control freak*?

Regarding marriage and relatioships

Asked By: agrona - 3/10/2009
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Excerpts from: WHY DOES HE DO THAT?
INSIDE THE MINDS of ANGRY and CONTROLLING MEN
BY: LUNDY BANCROFT

15 Signs That Point to a Potential Abuser

1. A push for quick involvement: comes on very strong, claiming, “I’ve never felt loved like this by anyone.” An abuser pressures the woman for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.

2. Jealousy: excessively possessive, calls you constantly or visits unexpectedly, prevents you from going to work because “you might meet someone”, checks the mileage on your car.

3. Controlling: interrogates you intensely (especially if you’re late), about whom you talked to, and where you were, keeps all the money, insists that you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.

4. Unrealistic expectations: expects you to be the perfect woman and meet his every need.

5. Isolation: tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who are your supporters of “causing trouble”; the abuser may take away your phone or car and try to prevent you from keeping a job.

6. Blames others for problems and mistakes; the boss, you – it’s always someone else’s fault if anything goes wrong.

7. Makes everyone else responsible for his feelings: the abusers says, “You make me angry”, instead of “I am angry” or “You hurt me by not listening or doing what I tell you to do”, also, “Why do you make me hit you?”

8. Hypersensitivity: he is easily insulted, claims that his feelings are hurt when he is really just mad.

9. Cruelty to children and animals; kills or punishes animals brutally. May expect children to do things far beyond their ability. For example: may whip a 2 year old for wetting a diaper, or may tease a child till they cry. 65?f abusers who beat their partner will also abuse children.

10. “Playful” use of force during sex; he enjoys throwing you down or holding you against your will during sex; says he finds the idea of r**e exciting.

11. Verbal abuse: constantly picking at you, or says cruel, hateful things, degrades, curses, calls you ugly things, then says you’re too sensitive. May include sleep deprivation – waking you to curse at you, won’t let you sleep until “this is taken care of”.

12. Rigid sex rules: expects you to serve, obey and remain at home.

13. Sudden mood swings – switches from sweetly loving to explosively violent in a matter of minutes.

14. Admits to hitting women in the past, but says they made him do it, or it wasn’t his fault. Uses threats of violence. “I’ll break your neck!” “I’ll kill you if…” then says “Everybody talks that way”, or “I didn’t really mean it.” If he has come this far it’s time to get help to get out.


The Abuser’s Most Common Control Tactics:

• Sarcasm
• Ridicule
• Distorting what you say
• Distorting what happened before
• Sulking
• Accusing you of doing what HE does, or thinking the way HE thinks
• Interrupting
• Not listening, refusing to respond
• Laughing out loud at your opinion
• Turning your complaints against you
• Changing the subject to HIS complaints
• Criticism that is harsh, undeserved or frequent
• Provoking guilt
• Making HIMSELF the victim
• Smirking, rolling his eyes, making faces
• Yelling, shouting
• Swearing
• Name-calling, insulting you or putting you down
• Walking out
• Towering over you
• Walking toward you with his fist raised
• Blocking a doorway
• Getting too close when he is angry
• Threatening to leave you
• Threatening to harm you
Answered By: Nena S - 3/10/2009
Additional Answers ()
A freak who is in control of the situation.
Answered By: David "the pharmacist" - 3/10/2009
Being controlling. I mean it doesn't get much more self explanatory.
Answered By: SwEEtie PiE - 3/10/2009
A wife who disobeys orders! bothers us good men
Answered By: Joe G - 3/10/2009
Someone who wants to know where you are at all times. Tells you what you can and cannot do, where you can and cannot go. Tries to make your decisions for you and doesn't want you to think for yourself.
Answered By: SuzyQ - 3/10/2009
Control freak.... to me, its someone that feels the need to monitor you, someone that thinks they need to keep a tab on you and watch your behavior and then evaluate and analyze everything you do. From phone calls, to internet usage, to conversations... just someone that feels the need to watch over everything you do and analyze/evaluate it. Then of course, you begin to tippy toe around them out of fear you will not meet their expectations....
Answered By: redhead27 - 3/10/2009
This, like all man-made labels, is a matter of opinion.
What should matter to you, is YOUR definition.

If your spouse meets YOUR definition, get out.
Answered By: lookingforinfo - 3/10/2009
A control freak is a person who has to control every aspect of your life and I mean every aspect no matter what it is. I was married to a man like that and he made me miserable. He would even scream at me if I did not say to him what he wanted me to say. He would also threaten suicide if he could not take control.
Answered By: Nancy M. - 3/10/2009
A control freak will start off real nice. They will make you think you are apart of the decision making. Then after a while they will use guilt,Then they start getting loud,then they force,and enforce. They are paranoid and very insecure. If you aer weak they will take over your life and crush you down physically and mentally.Belittle is 2 words be little and if you don't stay little they will beat you down.
Answered By: ragdoll1959 - 3/10/2009
A republican
Answered By: poop head A - 3/10/2009
In psychology-related slang, control freak is a derogatory term for a person who attempts to dictate how everything around them is done. It can also refer to someone with a limited number of things that they want done a specific way
In some cases, the control freak sees their constant intervention as beneficial or even necessary; this can be caused by feelings of superiority, believing that others are incapable of handling matters properly, or the fear that things will go wrong if they don't attend to every detail. In other cases, they may simply enjoy the feeling of power it gives them so much that they automatically try to gain. control of everything around them.
Answered By: bibus75 - 3/10/2009
A control freak is someone who has to know where you are and who you are with all the time, someone who has to be in charge of making decisions about most aspects of your life. As the title suggests, a control freak has to be in control of each and every situation and has an inherent desire for power. He/she has to be in charge or all hell breaks loose.
Source(s):
Personal Experience - my dad's a control freak
Answered By: zarda786 - 3/10/2009
Now let's be real: EVERYONE likes to control their environment and when we don't, we feel weak. so the line is at when you want to control another person! say, your spouse is on the phone and you want him/her to get off (unless he/she is been on the phone for 2 hrs or something)
you got the point.. a control freak is someone who would try to control my actions for his own benefit!! and frankly that doesn't fly well w/me!!
Answered By: preemie mom - 3/10/2009
Taking control of everything and wanting everything done their way
Answered By: R.J. W - 3/10/2009
Sponsored results
Found: Hiring Positions Near You. $10.50 - $83.75/hr. Apply Online.
HiringJobs.WorkGrabber.net
Find Expert Information. Job At Hotel on About.com.
About.com/Job At Hotel
Legitimate Surveys for Cash. Earn Cash in Your Spare Time, Free!
www.SurveySheep.com
Search for Local Jobs. Find Answers on Ask.com.
Ask.com/Local Jobs

Other Career Questions

I have recently had an iterview with a staffing agency. Has anyone ever gotten a job through one? How long did it take? I know this is marriage and divorce section, but I'm assuming other than being married/divorced you must have a job too. After all marriage/divorce cost money.
3 answers - Asked By: T - 4/28/2010
True money is important (I probably make more than most men) but I have heard on this forum that men think that is all they can take to a marriage. Or they brag about their sexual prowess. Like women only want good sex (we want that and more). Is it only immature men that answer questions on marriage and divorce?
11 answers - Asked By: lovely - 5/17/2010
Every new generation seems to care less for marriage, and the divorce rate is still high. Is marriage slowly becoming obsolete? What are some good reasons to marry? What are some dumb reasons to marry?
6 answers - Asked By: Jayson R - 5/7/2010

Content is not owned or controlled by Monster. Any content concerns should be addressed with Yahoo!
Yahoo! Does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any Yahoo! Answers content. Yahoo! Disclaimer.

Popular Questions

So today I went in for an interview and I was going in for the 2nd interview by the head chief executive. now this is where it got weird, so she asked me about my previous jobs and said how much she liked that product over that product. then she started talking about her daughter? an her divorce ...then how she didn't finish college because she was making more money doing what she did for this company ... then she talked about how her teenage daughter is a handful... I just played it cool thinking she was using some sort of psychology thing to trick me into saying something stupid. the interview ended and she seemed happy an I was escorted to the door... now I'm freaking confused? is this normal behavior for an executive? like it felt like she was going to burst into tears at one point and tell me her life problems... is this normal? was she trying to see how I react or something?
6 answers - Asked By: Clone - 11/7/2012
Wen you apply at a job and they ask how mch you want as a salary what do you say?
2 answers - Asked By: Colette - 11/24/2011
Basically- no degree, although I have tried completing one in the past and stopped because of physical and mental health issues which were overwhelming to deal with along with going to classes full time. I'm not stupid and I am quite articulate. I am 23 and have only worked for about two years retail in high school and stopped working to go to university. I worked a few months in 2010 retail after I dropped out but it was only a seasonal position, and the only reason why I have not been able to constantly work is because of mental health issues. I had also tried going back to community college during my free time since i left university in 2008/9 and I had panic attacks while in community college, which made my anxiety worse from then on. Well recently I met a good doctor and he prescribed me some meds that are stabilizing my moods and I feel the best I've felt in years, and I'm ready to work. Thing is, I don't know how to get a job now since I've spent literally years being depressed and anxious doing nothing. I don't really have anything to put on my resume, and I never finished my AA degree either. All I've done is cashiering and although I do the job well and I get promoted easily when I do these jobs because I'm a hard worker and I try to go above and beyond what they ask of me,which is the attitude I have no matter what kind of work I'm doing as long as I'm getting paid. But I hate cashiering because it's too easy and I want a job that is more interesting. Any suggestions for me on how to get a job that is NOT Retail with the type of background I have right now? I also realize I have to go to college to get certain types of jobs, I am talking about what I can do right here right now.
1 answer - Asked By: Alex Prieto - 10/14/2012
Recently I have overlooked for a project at work and I am unable to accept it why? I am hard working, dedicated, maintain a very professional decorum, very cordial with my colleagues and bosses, give respect to one and all. Still people who take the p***, argue with managers, gossip mongers have been selected for some very responsible positions at work. I seriously can't get my head around it why, why unprofessional people who have no work ethics being selected over me, whereas I have a track record of excellent performance and never shy away from any work my manager ask me to do? I am at my lowest point and not getting hold of my manager to ask the question why not me, why them who can't even bother? I am feeling like a complete loser, giving years to this place, building my performance, trust and this is how I get rewarded. Why my life is so shit, anything I wish for turns to dust?
1 answer - Asked By: network7 - 11/6/2012
As stated in my question I've applied for multiple jobs and gotten no job interview, you name a place I've applied there. I've said i will work ridiculous hours from like 12am to 5am and nothing. I've said I am willing to work weekends public holidays everything and I have gotten nothing back I am so desperate for money it's not funny.
9 answers - Asked By: Jamie - 1/9/2012
So I have a nice white button up shirt, business skirt and pants, and a suit jacket. I'm applying for a software development job and I'm very short and can look young so I'm trying to look adult, yet professional. I'm also attractive so I'm trying not to look too sexy. For the career fair I'm thinking of wearing just my nice shirt and a skirt with low heels. My reasoning being it's approachable and attractive without going overboard since the career fair hosts are mostly younger male recent grads. I want to be remembered but not intimidating. For my interviews I was thinking pants, suit jacket (power suit). My reasoning being it'll be older execs and HR people (mostly women) so less sexy with the pants but more powerful with the suit jacket. What do you think?!
2 answers - Asked By: Beast - 9/23/2012
I'm really having a hard time finding a job. I'm not sure why employers aren't contacting me :( I have about 4 years in expereince ( about 1 year of management) Well, here it is Jon smith Erlanger KY, USA Cell: +1-859-111-1111 E-mail:abc.def@outlook.com OBJECTIVE Obtain a position as a project manager/coordinator allowing me to utilize my administrative, organizational and problem-solving skills with a growing organization to mutually enhance growth of professional development and success. WORK EXPERIENCE ATS Jun 2012 – Apr 2013 Project Manager I: Managed projects development and staff in different divisions to achieve projects goals through practices of planning, executing and analyzing project-related tasks. Duties, responsibilities and contributions to assigned projects include the following: • Prepare and create project scopes, SWOT analysis reports and statements of work as assigned. • Visit anticipated project sites and create assessments for necessary work. • Analyze given scopes to assist engineers into reaching projects’ objectives. • Examine and manage available resources relating to materials and manpower. • Coordinate staff and arrange regular meetings. • Inspect daily operations and quality of products used on premise. • Implement solutions to resolve complex jobs relating to the project. • Manage and ensure that operations are executed in accordance to project scope and SOW. • Review and submit documents for projects deliverables/submittals and create schedules for subcontractors. • Document all events occurred during project life cycle and submit reports to senior management. Assigned Projects: 1- Conference Rooms IT/Multimedia Project Duration: Jun 2012 – Dec 2012 2- Military Base Renovation Project Duration: Aug 2012 – Aug 2013 AT&T / U-verse Division Oct 2011 – Feb 2012 Command Center Agent II: Applied knowledge to solve common and complex related issues to consumer’s services and devices. The position allowed for individual work at minimum supervision and within teams when necessary. Duties of the position included: •Provide phone/virtual support to internal and external customers. •Audit reports submitted by technicians and follow up with customers. •Implement and updated solutions within workflow system (WFE system). •Interact with IT department personnel to resolve common issues. •Provide assistance to first level support agents. •Maintain database and accounts for customers. Cleve’s Connections May 2009 – Nov 2010 IT Specialist: Provided hands-on and virtual administration for all IT related topics and managed sales for all devices and services. This included consulting, providing solutions, and improving efficiency for small businesses in design and security areas. Tasks performed while working included: • Resolve & close all open cases submitted by staff or customers. • Setup and manage user accounts through Active Directory. • Monitor network activities and logs and report system bugs, downtimes or crashes. • On-site maintenance and installation of network equipment and computer hardware/software. • Perform system setup operations and data backups as requested. • Create case analysis and audit reports given by technicians. • On-call support 24/7. EDUCATION • Devry University, Cincinnati OH Bachelor in Management Graduation: 2012 • Cincinnati State, Cincinnati OH Associate in Network Administration Graduation: Transfer 2010 To Andy: What does my Devry have to do with anything? for profit school? I'm not sure what college you graduated from, but in the real world experience weights more than a piece of paper stating you've completed few written assignments and imaginary projects. SMH!
3 answers - Asked By: Zaid I - 5/8/2013
I am currently a 1st year irregular college student taking I.T. I transferred schools and my majors never got credited. But it's okay because i am slowly getting the logics in programming in Java. This next semester i am taking a System Analysis and Design(SADSIGN) and i am getting nervous because even though i am pretty good at logics, i am not that good at coding. But since it is a case study, we will be on group, we will be four i think. Project manager, Analyst, Documentation, and the programmer. I am asking what jobs i can get after graduating I.T. because what if i graduated I.T. and still not that good at coding, i am hoping that there will be a jobs that will require less programming. Like Database manager or in Multimedia or in charge of Network. So is there jobs that doesn't require hardcore programming skills?
2 answers - Asked By: Jay p*e - 5/6/2013
Is there any difference between a "nurse practitioner" and an "advanced registered nurse practitioner"?
1 answer - Asked By: lucysmom - 3/27/2006
The question explains it, i am thinking of going to an engineering high school but of course it will focus on other stuff too but still. What kind of jobs can you get because i dont want to be a mechanic(no offence to any) but please help me!
2 answers - Asked By: hungergameslover - 5/13/2013
Account Executive Hospitality Manager Sales Representative Editorial Assistant Advertising Manager Hotel Manager Personnel Specialist Writer/Author Association Administrator Presenter Special Events Coordinator Political Aide Promotions Manager Speech Writer Consumer Affairs Specialist Sportscaster Public Information Officer Communications Director Public Relations Specialist Radio/TV Announcer Technical Writer Telemarketing Specialist Customer Service Rep. Fund Raiser Training & Development Specialist Events Planner Flight Attendant Youth Worker Media Manager Recruiter Market Research Analyst Community Action Director Recreation/Attractions Manager Restaurant Manager Campaign Manager Development Director Script Writer Photojournalist Advertising Copywriter Museum Director Greeting Card Writer Production Assistant Actor, Mime Narrator Stage Manager Director Impersonator Make-up Artist Stunt Coordinator Booking Agent Talent Scout Drama Coach Stand-in Playwright Stage Manager Movie Theater Manager
2 answers - Asked By: Jolynn - 4/28/2013
L want to study medicine and work as a doctor but l am limited due to luck of required monyes. however l swtched on to anther career but still within my career interests as a care giver, but this is somthing to do with sales and marketing in the pharmcitical industry.
2 answers - Asked By: tonnydanabwembya - 12/24/2005
Can someone tell me te difference between computer science and a computer engineering major. Is it the same?
2 answers - Asked By: Rosalva - 5/6/2013
3 answers - Asked By: hubbard_billy - 2/24/2006
I know that Escrow is within Title industry in Texas. What would be the best way to get my foot in the door. I am assuming I will have to start as an Escrow assistant and work my way up, but I would really like to find out more about this career path. How does an officer usually get licensed? Are there classes we need to take and exam to take? Any response is appreciated.
2 answers - Asked By: schang25 - 2/10/2006
I have to get an electrican to fix an overloaded circuit and possible short. so do you tip and if so, how much?
4 answers - Asked By: speedlvr_8 - 12/29/2005
What do you guys think is the best NHL job? Zamboni driver penalty box door opener ref equip. manager commentator one of those people that move the nets for the zamboni camerman
10 answers - Asked By: jeff_njdevils - 3/20/2006
1 answer - Asked By: Big D - 5/3/2013
My second interview is on Monday and I want to be prepared. It's for an assistant controller position. I've already met with the controller and the hr manager. Monday I will be meeting with the president of the company. How could I prepare myself for Monday's interview? Thanks! Any comments would be great!
3 answers - Asked By: Virginia - 6/6/2009
Search SEARCH

Popular Job Searches

Explore Jobs and Career Opportunities

Popular Program Searches

Further Your Career With A Degree

Popular Articles

Browse Articles Related To Careers
2013 Marketing Jobs Outlook Article Rating
The US may be facing another year of anemic hiring overall, but that won't be the case in the high-orbit world of multichannel, digital media marketing.
2013 Engineering Jobs Outlook Article Rating
Engineers will find job opportunities in select disciplines in 2013, with candidates who are all-around, client-oriented businesspeople in demand.
Best-Paying Jobs by MajorArticle Rating
What could you earn with a particular four-year degree? Find out by checking out this list of the top-paying jobs for 20 of the most common majors.
Eight High-Paying, Secure JobsArticle Rating
Want to earn a good salary and enjoy a measure of job security as well? Check out these well-paying jobs on tap for fast growth in the coming years.
2013 Finance Jobs OutlookArticle Rating
Three things predict whether your finance job search will fly or flop in 2013: your skills, your industry knowledge and (surprise!) the federal budget.

Monster Communities

Teaching Community
Where teachers meet and learn.
ArtBistro
Create and connect.
Excelle
Networking for the career-minded woman.
Nursing Link
Where nurses call the shots.
More Monster Communities

Monster Partners

Scholarships
Scholarships, financial aid and more ways to pay for school.
Education.org
Find top campus and online degree programs.
Military.com
Military portal for the US Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps and Coast Guard.
Financial Aid
Scholarships & financial aid.
Staffing for Government Jobs
Staffing and hiring solutions for federal government agency jobs.
More Monster Partners

Job Hunt Strategy

Six Ways to Make a Recruiter Hate You
If you want to blow your chances with recruiters -- and, by extension, with the companies they work for -- here are six perfect ways to do so.

Resumes & Cover Letters

Rev Up Your Resume to Relocate
Hoping to relocate? Get the ball rolling on landing the right job in the right location with these expert resume and cover letter tips.

Interviewing

100 Potential Interview Questions
Interview questions can run the gamut. You probably won't face all 100 of these, but you should still be prepared to answer at least some of them.

Salary & Benefits

10 Questions to Ask When Negotiating Salary
Most of us aren't natural negotiators, but asking these 10 questions during salary negotiations can help you get everything you deserve.

Employee Sourcing

Alt text
November Monster Employment Index Grows 13% Year-Over-Year, Tenth Consecutive Month of Positive Annual Growth.

For Seekers

Campus and Online Degrees
Advance your career and earn more with an online degree.
Free Salary Wizard
What are you worth? Find out and negotiate a better salary.
Research Careers
Get information on jobs and career paths to help guide your choices
Questions & Answers
Find answers to all your career related questions -- powered by Yahoo! Answers
Resume Distribution Service
Our distribution service puts your resume right in the hands of recruiters.
Resume Writing Services
Our experts will craft a keyword-rich resume that stands out in the crowd.
More Career Resources

For Employers

Career Ad Network
Target your job posting to more candidates on thousands of websites.
Hire Right Background Checks
Explore our background check packages to improve the quality of your hires.
Hiring Home Page
Find the best candidates for your business with Monster hiring solutions.
Job Postings
Find the right solution for your hiring needs. Starting at $99.
Power Resume Search
Monster's new search technology precisely matches people with your jobs.
Resource Center
Find staffing insights, labor trends, HR best practices and more.
Target Post
Connect with skilled, hourly and administrative candidates for only $99.

Social Media

Jobs on Twitter
Find jobs in your area and industry.
Monster Careers
Tune into our career advice and discussions tackling a wide range of topics and industries.
Monster Corporate & PR
Stay up-to-date on the latest news. Get the 'Who', 'What', 'When', and 'Why' on all things Monster related.
Monster Customer Service
Got a Monster question? We've got the answer. Whether you're a job seeker or employer, we can help you find the answers you need.
Monster for Employers
Find advice on hiring.
Follow Us
Check out our many pages and stay connected with the latest industry news, events, career advice and job openings.

Other Links

Advice Forums
Tap into Monster's online career forums and share advice with experts.
Monster Company Profiles
Explore companies and get information to guide your career decisions.
Compare Salaries
See how your pay stacks up to others in your field.
iPhone Application
Download the Monster app for iPhone and iPod touch.
Monster Job Seeker Blog
Monster Job Seeker Blog.
Monster Thinking Blog
Monster's Recruitment Trends Blog.
Jobs & Career Resources
Search Jobs:
For Employers: Post Jobs | Search Resumes | Advertise
About Monster | Work for Monster | Advertise with Us | AdChoices | Partner with Us | Investor Relations | Social Media
Terms of Use | Privacy Center | Accessibility Centre | Help | Security | Contact Us | Sitemap | Mobile
©2013 Monster - All Rights Reserved U.S. Patents No. 5,832,497; 7,599,930 B1; 7,827,125 and 7,836,060 MWW - Looking for Monster Cable? - V: 2013.1.0.14-314
eTrustLogo