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How do I distance myself from others problems and still remain caring and concerned for their situation?

I work with many people everyday, in the last few months I have heard so many heartbreaking stories about peoples financial situations, losing their jobs, homes, etc... That most evenings I go home depressed and worried I could end up in the same situation. How do I separate myself from the problems of others? My job requires compassion and good listening skills when dealing with others. There really is no way for me to NOT listen to their troubles? I just want to know how to keep me sane in the process.

Asked By: Badkitty - 3/13/2009
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
You are in a situation where you can be uplifting to people.

I know exactly what you are talking about. How do you seperate your own emotions and fears from other peoples problems. The best way to do that is to know that right now you are in a place where you can chose to be uplifting and inspirational to people, or you can chose to take on their problems as your own. Taking on their problems will not help solve them nor is it going to do you or them any good. But if you start looking for solutions to their problems and start giving advice and hope for the best.

Alot of people are in the same situation, right now I am, my dad is and my brother is and the list goes on. I know in my heart that things are going to get better, so I do not dwell on them. For my dad and my mom. They are in a situation where they could lose their house because of a recent lay off. Things have not gotten to that point yet, and I always look for resources to help them. There are programs out there to help with this kind of thing. People just have to look for them.

Also, as a community as a whole we need to stay focused on the improvement of the economy and stop worrying about the current condition. Positivity is what this situation calls for. Embrace the fact that you are being taken care of right now, do not fear it. And, believe that things will get better for other people as well. For some people lay offs are inspiring them to go to school and get a degree, or to start a business from home.

In the end the people that look for other avenues and believe that things will work out for the best will be in an even better situation when it is all said and done. So for now, foucus on listening with compasion, find stories of people that have overcome this sort of thing and find out what they are doing to get through this and spred the word. Things will not always be this way, but for now we should look for any opportunity possible to learn from it and grow from it.

Not to take away from the sadness of it all. I realize that this situation calls out for compasion. But we must create hope and have faith in order to get through this and spread the word that we can and will make it through this. Times are tough but it is how we react to the tough times that can make all the difference in the world.
Answered By: Kelly S - 3/13/2009
Additional Answers ()
You just have to close those windows when they pop open. Move on to something else. Make yourself busy at home so you don't have time for the sadness to creep in.
Answered By: Michael T - 3/13/2009
REALIZE THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY, THINGS HAPPEN EVERYDAY, JUST MAKE THE BEST OF IT, ENJOY THE FACT YOU'RE NOT IN THE SITATION, BECAUSE IT'S TRUE IT MAY HAPPEN TO YOU.

WHY BE MISERABLE NOW IF YOU DON'T HAVE A REASON?

WORRYING IS THE MOST USLESS EMOTION, IT DOES NOTHING TO HELP.
Answered By: simone - 3/13/2009
Tell yourself that you're here to help this person. and you won't be able to if you crash down. it's your responsibility to remain calm and sensible, yet human.
also, believe that whatever happens to you, you've attracted to urslef. and only you are in charge of your destiny.
Answered By: sanam - 3/13/2009
Well I pray for people and leave it up to God. Some things are just too big for us, Have faith that in the end God will take care of things. Its not up to you to fix everyone. tell these people to remain possitive in hard times and think about the things they still have to be thankful for. it will make them feel better and you too if you practice it. the people who just want to complain wont like this advice but the ones who really want to have their spirits lifted will appreciate you trying to make them feel better. Im not saying you shouldn;t empathise with them but you get to a certain point and feeling bad for someone only helps so much and then you need to redirect their attention to happier things. even with someone with serious issues like a father dying can comfort themselves by being thankful. they could think why is my dad gone! or they could be thinking I am so glad I had him as a father he was a wonderful man and then think about the good times and be thankful they had that person for the time that they did. im not saying its easy but with a little determination even in the hard times anyone can be happy every once in a while.
Answered By: sefain85 - 3/13/2009
Here is the bottom line on that.
Some people are naturally better at it than others. If you are the sort of person that gets personally involved with every sob story you hear, you are quite possibly in the wrong profession. There is a lot of heartbreak out there in the world. If you find yourself on an emotional roller coaster, losing sleep, worrying about people when you are not at work, or offering them your own money or time, you really need to think about changing your job.

How do you do it. Re-read what you have said. "Their troubles." They are not "Your troubles." You have your own troubles. Empatheticaly, you do not need to distance yourself at all. When you see a sad movie do you empathize and cry? Yes, it's a movie and these are real people but the process is the same. Their life is not your life. Their problems are not your problems. As a human being we can show empathy and understanding while still doing what it is we need to do. And when it is over, you genuinely wish them "good luck." as you return to your own life and your own problems..
Answered By: Playto - 3/13/2009
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