Welfare mom could use some good advice...?

Apparently, the folks at the welfare office have a problem with the fact that I can't remember all of my kids names, or exactly how many kids I have, or where I last left them, for that matter. What in the heck do they expect, for me to watch them every single second of the day?! I know they go to school, or something, some of the time; geez, I'm not a radar tracking device! I say that if they want me to know where they are every single waking moment they shouldn't have made me stop tethering them in the yard! Can you other moms out there relate? Personally, I think the woman I spoke with was threatened by my education; I have a masters degree in flour & salt dough sculpture, which is a highly specialized field of study! My years at the Sorbonne have made me the best darn dough sculptress out there! I started out at the Ecole Normale, but was distressed to learn they would want me to teach in France after that, so it was off to the Sorbonne and dough sculpture for me! Thank God, too! These days, my erotic dough sculptures that I make from free government flour and salt, and sell at naughty lady parties under the table, are the source of my cig and beer money. Did you know that you can't buy cigarettes and beer with food stamps?! I kid you not! I think that if the welfare department looks at me without their jealousy for my refinement and obvious superior breeding, they will see what a great mom I am! Hell, I let my kids go trick-or-treating every night, and I take exception to the comment from the social worker that they were only going door-to-door begging to get something to eat. This house is loaded with food! Jesus, the kids can gnaw on any number of dough sculptures if they're that hungry, for cryin' out loud! The teachers at their school are no joy, either. At the last parent/teacher conference, the woman started off the meeting with, "Miss Skankstein, please don't smoke." Frickin' hell!!!! By the way, she also lectured me on my frequent use of the term, "frickin' hell", as in, "Why in the frickin' hell can't I smoke? The d**n asbestos in the school walls are killin' ya faster than my nicotine!" The teacher obviously was one of those weird tree-hugger/health nut types, who like to boss everyone else around. So you see, being a mother these days is a difficult, thankless job. I would lament more the lack of appreciation out there, but it's time for my soaps. Can some of you moms out there tell me how you deal with all the day to day aggravation of being a devoted parent?

Asked By: - 3/18/2009
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I shouldn't, but LOL!!!! I'm forwarding this to my sister... More
Answered By: daydreamer - 3/18/2009
Additional Answers (19)
w*f Thanks for the two points though
Answered By: c00lblkatheist - 3/18/2009
Answered By: Mel - 3/18/2009
"Miss Skankstein"? lol
Answered By: Sin 'jari [Infidelosaurus] - 3/18/2009
yeah funny , write a book.
Answered By: dandalion - 3/18/2009
I know, right? Totally.
Answered By: ♥Ŝåƒϊ♥ ٭ẠτЋєąŧї٭ - 3/18/2009
oh you poor poor thing..stay strong..
Answered By: LadyCatherine - 3/18/2009
Go see Dr. Phil. He might give you a free house with all the designer furnishings your little heart desires...
Answered By: DigitalGhost - 3/18/2009
If thats your picture you are one ugly women!!!
Answered By: answers/questions - 3/18/2009
Very creative. (I sincerely hope.) Thanks for the laughs.
Answered By: Diogenes - 3/18/2009
I am not sure if you have 6 or seven kids..but that doesn't matter..if i was you... More
Answered By: Smooth Kitty AY AE - 3/18/2009
Umm.. thanks for the self-esteem. It really makes one feel superior to pity someone else. Also, you actually use great word choice and sentence structure. Bravo! <3 - Natalie
Answered By: ♥Natalie♥ - 3/18/2009
Oh Oh! Write one about drugging our youth or teenage abortions next!
Answered By: essenuejal - 3/18/2009
A masters degree in flour & salt dough sculpture??? That seals it. The Nolte is officially head-over-heels in love with you.
Answered By: THE NOLTE-KMA - 3/18/2009
I agree with The Nolte. I'm coming over tonight and sticking it in your butt.
Answered By: Idiocracy Æ - 3/18/2009
To help you remember their names, just write their names on all their clothes with permanent marker. Right across the front so you can see it real good... More
Answered By: magix151 - 3/18/2009
People can be so cruel to hardworking Moms, can't they? We'll all get together and get you something nice for Mother's Day? Ummmm, what size panties do you wear???
Answered By: Schmeckel Deckel - 3/18/2009
Easiest 2 points ever.
Answered By: Sadie - 3/18/2009
Hey, at least you didn't have octuplets! lol
Answered By: brilliantly8tIndigosquirtAMVAVT - 3/18/2009
yeah its tough. and all the publicity and death threats get old. but keep on truckin' mama
Answered By: OCTO MOM - 3/18/2009
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