Let's continue this tale of randomness!?

So I am posting this question for multiple rounds. Each round the best answer gets added to the official text. Your job is to continue it. So far there is one addition. original text by me: Gortex Pattingsdale had never seen the sun because it was frightened of him and hid behind the clouds when he came out to attend to his daily affairs, whether they included buying the groceries, going for a jog, or just taking it easy with the guys. However a lot of people thought Pattingsdale sucked ***. Over the years, many citizens of He Actually Propelled Himself- so named from the historical occasion on which Bill Barton yelled at a wall while on a skateboard rocketing himself an astonishing one inch away- the town Pattingsdale had made his home in, had grown to hate the man for his sun setting dispoition and generally ruining the weather in the area. A lynch mob had formed to take Pattingsdale out, mainly made up of the wives of farmers and caterpillars. Pattingsdale was not fond of toast, but that matter is irrelevant here. He also liked his women like he liked his toast, in a word, not toast at all but rather a voluptuous form that captured the very essence of beauty. He found he had a hard time using the old saying "the best thing since sliced bread." because of his dislike for toast. Instead he said "the best thing since sliced... ah, whatever man. I can't think of anything.".... Alright continue it. Sorry if there are any grammatical errors. user Mc lovin: ...Ah, I know! The best thing since sliced peperoni's! Anyways, the lynch mob came marching down the dirt road, with torches and nail-clippers. Pattingsdale had to find a way out, and find it fast! But alas, there was nothing he could do... except for taking his chainsaw and confronting the mob head-on! But then he looked outside and saw that the mob had grown to include all manner of people: men, women, children, caterpillars, and of course, former Russian president Mikhail Gorbachev. Yes, a very dreadful crowd indeed, but no match for Pattingsdale's chainsaw - which he used to cut a path through his cottage and get the hell out of there. He ran for many, many miles, and everywhere he went, the clouds would gather in the sky. Thus, everywhere he went, more and more lynch mobs formed, and added on to one giant mother-lyncher mob. Eventually, he ran to a cave at the side of a mountain. He emerged only three days after, where everyone was waiting at the base of the mountain, brandishing their nail-clippers. He had stayed on the mountain, and looked up. He stood there for hours, staring at the clouds that hid the sun from him since he was born. He yelled "Show yourself, coward!" The clouds suddenly moved away, and the sun emerged. The mob cheered, for they all thought the man had died. He returned to his home where he lived happily ever after... until he was lynched and killed by the mob for other reasons, but that's another story! alright so who thinks they have what it takes to write that other story?

Asked By: Woody Allen - 6/4/2009
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Yahoo! Answers is a community-driven knowledge market website launched by Yahoo! on December 13, 2005 that allows users to both submit questions to be answered and answer questions asked by other users. The site gives members the chance to earn points as a way to encourage participation and is based on Naver's... More
Answered By: Wait What?! - 6/4/2009
Additional Answers (1)
Then a nuke hit the world and it shattered into a million little pieces, which each became a planet. One planet held the last man alive, and that was (you know you know who) Chuck Norris. He ruled on until he had destroyed everything left to destroy on this planet. At this time he realized that even his body of steel... More
Answered By: Froggit - 6/4/2009

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