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Child Custody Rights?

Let's see where to begin. I had a child at the age of 19 out of wedlock to a girl i had dated for several years. His name is Kyler born on December 20th, 2005. He is now three and a half years old. Since before he was born I had plans on moving to Southern California in order to go to college get a degree and start my life. The moment that I finally committed to doing so and I found out that I was expecting to be a father. So i changed my plans decided to do what I thought was right and got an apartment got a f/t job and made a home for my child's mother and son that was to come. From the moment he was born I felt more comfortable with the idea of having a child and loved him unconditionally. Him and his mother lived with me for 8 months b4 i found out the truth that she was seeing another man while i was at work. needless to say we broke up and i was distraught I just turned twenty and realized I had nothing going on for myself so I made the hard decision of going to college in California (mother lives there) so from the time he was 8 months old til he was 2 and a half I wasn't allowed to see or speak to him and being a broke college student not being able to pay my child support I couldn't argue the fact a whole lot. I moved back to the area december 16th of 2008 so I could become the father he deserved and since than she has married and had a second child. I now have a college education and a d**n good job and everything i hoped to accomplish while gone. except one thing.... My son. I am now caught up with my child support and she has allowed me to see my child under two conditions. One I do so at my dads house and two I don't tell him that I am his father. I have done both for six months now and fed up with lying to my son I told her she needs to figure out how she wants to break the news to him. I have even agreed to sitting down with both her and her husband ( my child knows him as father) and explain it to him. She insist that it is to early and she wants to wait another year or two. Now my question. Is it better too wait to explain to him the truth so he can comprehend that I A) am his biological dad B) we have both lied to him for a very long time, or should we explain to him that he is lucky and has two fathers??? I know this situation is very confusing and if you don't have kids maybe this story will make you think twice about having some out of wedlock and not being old enough. Any advice, criticism, question, answers, or similar experiences could help. and yes I know it sounds like i'm venting( it feels better already : ) Your right I feel though she resents me for a very long and young relationship that was painful on the both of us. is there no other way except for going to the courts?? Since there is no custody agreement setup I have even thought about keeping him at my place but have thought against it as it might be confusing and hurt my child emotionaly.

Asked By: - 6/11/2009
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
As a single man, you have NO ASSUMED RIGHTS to the child. Watch the movie trailer at the link below about a single father... More
Answered By: George McCasland - Dads Rights - 6/13/2009
Additional Answers (3)
Sounds like you give this woman everything she wants, even to the detriment of your child. YOU are the bio father which means you are can have equal rights and custody. Stop appeasing to that woman and be a father. Otherwise your just a paycheck to her.
Answered By: badboynheat - 6/11/2009
 
For now, I would say that he is lucky to have two fathers. Do not ever tell him that you both were lied to. When he's old enough to comprehend, he can know that you are his biological father and that step-dad is his stepfather. Do not ever say anything bad about his mother, because he is a part of her. I'm not... More
Answered By: spalmer - 6/11/2009
 
ur son has a right to know who his biological father is. u should tell him. its not like u were a jerk n left while she was pregnant. u too also have rights to ur son.
Answered By: nicole m - 6/11/2009
 
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