Child Custody Rights?

	Child Custody Rights? Let's see where to begin. I had a child at the age of 19 out of wedlock to a girl i had dated for several years. His name is Kyler born on December 20th, 2005. He is now three and a half years old. Since before he was born I had plans on moving to Southern California in order to go to college get a degree and start my life. The moment that I finally committed to doing so and I found out that I was expecting to be a father. So i changed my plans decided to do what I thought was right and got an apartment got a f/t job and made a home for my child's mother and son that was to come. From the moment he was born I felt more comfortable with the idea of having a child and loved him unconditionally. Him and his mother lived with me for 8 months b4 i found out the truth that she was seeing another man while i was at work. needless to say we broke up and i was distraught I just turned twenty and realized I had nothing going on for myself so I made the hard decision of going to college in California (mother lives there) so from the time he was 8 months old til he was 2 and a half I wasn't allowed to see or speak to him and being a broke college student not being able to pay my child support I couldn't argue the fact a whole lot. I moved back to the area december 16th of 2008 so I could become the father he deserved and since than she has married and had a second child. I now have a college education and a d**n good job and everything i hoped to accomplish while gone. except one thing.... My son. I am now caught up with my child support and she has allowed me to see my child under two conditions. One I do so at my dads house and two I don't tell him that I am his father. I have done both for six months now and fed up with lying to my son I told her she needs to figure out how she wants to break the news to him. I have even agreed to sitting down with both her and her husband ( my child knows him as father) and explain it to him. She insist that it is to early and she wants to wait another year or two. Now my question. Is it better too wait to explain to him the truth so he can comprehend that I A) am his biological dad B) we have both lied to him for a very long time, or should we explain to him that he is lucky and has two fathers??? I know this situation is very confusing and if you don't have kids maybe this story will make you think twice about having some out of wedlock and not being old enough. Any advice, criticism, question, answers, or similar experiences could help. and yes I know it sounds like i'm venting( it feels better already : ) Your right I feel though she resents me for a very long and young relationship that was painful on the both of us. is there no other way except for going to the courts?? Since there is no custody agreement setup I have even thought about keeping him at my place but have thought against it as it might be confusing and hurt my child emotionaly. Asked By: Collin Bean - 6/11/2009

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
As a single man, you have NO ASSUMED RIGHTS to the child. Watch the movie trailer at the link below about a single father Take a certified parenting course. The court is going to order you to take it anyway, so by showing you’ve taken it only looks good to them. Start keeping a daily journal of all your activities. The most common way to prevent a father from getting his rights through the courts is a false allegation. A daily journal is your number one piece of evidence in court and you can even refer to it while on the stand. If you are being denied access, or she's trying to control your access, write her a letter notifying her of intent to exercise visitation on a specific date, like Saturday 10 AM to 6 PM. Sign it and make three copies. Mail the original Certified Mail and the other with Delivery Confirmation (75¢ + postage). If she rejects the one, she still receives the other. Whether the Certified Mail confirmation card or the Certified letter comes back, attach it unopened to a copy of the letter, plus a printout of the Delivery Confirmation from the web link below. When you file for visitation rights, take these documents to the County Courthouse. Have the Clerk of the Court notarize it and than place it in your case file. Do this three times before considering going to court. When you do go to court, the judge will these letters while preparing for the hearing. When you show up to pick up the child(ren), bring witnesses. Do not enter her place alone. If you can record, have someone video record. Check the site below to see if it is illegal to record audio and/or video without the mother knowing. If her state does not have a law either way, than it defaults to the federal ruling, which says one person in a conversation, must know they are being recorded. THAT’S YOU! If you want to learn how to do all this go to Dads House in Yahoo Groups. Upon joining, you will receive a link to an educational manual that can teach you what you need to know. Take the time to learn what you can and should do. Bird Nest Custody http://groups.yahoo.com/group/GiveKidsAChoice/ Can We Tape http://www.rcfp.org/taping/ Dads House http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DadsHouse/ Fathers & Families http://www.fathersandfamilies.org/ Fathers Rights: The Movie http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=27395259 Parental Alienation Syndrome http://www.parentalalienation.org/ United States Post Office: Delivery Confirmation http://www.usps.com/send/waystosendmail/extraservices/deliveryconfirmationservice.htm Answered By: George McCasland - Dads Rights - 6/13/2009

Additional Answers ()

Sounds like you give this woman everything she wants, even to the detriment of your child. YOU are the bio father which means you are can have equal rights and custody. Stop appeasing to that woman and be a father. Otherwise your just a paycheck to her. Answered By: badboynheat - 6/11/2009

For now, I would say that he is lucky to have two fathers. Do not ever tell him that you both were lied to. When he's old enough to comprehend, he can know that you are his biological father and that step-dad is his stepfather. Do not ever say anything bad about his mother, because he is a part of her. I'm not saying this just because I'm a mother... I follow these rules myself. My son's father left before he was born, and he has never seen him. He moves a lot as to avoid being caught by the courts. My son will be 8 next month, and despite how I may feel about his father... I have never said a bad word about him, and I refuse to do so. When he is older and is asking questions, I can politely explain how some people are not ready to be parents... but, he doesn't need to know that now. He will never know the hurtful things his father said about him, and he'll never know the struggles we had. He is a part of his father and a part of me. Good luck. As for you only getting to see your child on 2 conditions -- did the courts order that? If not, you have a right to see your child wherever you'd like, unless you have proven you are a danger to him/her and need supervised visits. I think it's time to talk to your child's mother and if she doesn't listen, get a lawyer and go to court. Answered By: spalmer - 6/11/2009

Ur son has a right to know who his biological father is. u should tell him. its not like u were a jerk n left while she was pregnant. u too also have rights to ur son. Answered By: nicole m - 6/11/2009

Submit your answer or comment to this question

Other Career Questions

	What is the best compliment you have received from another Mom on the way you parent? A lady at the park today told me she liked how I was calm but firm with my daughter when I was disciplining her. How about you? Lets be positive on Y!A pregnancy/parenting section for a moment..........I know we can relate and get along on some things. RIGHT? I did not thumbs down anybody........all very good answers in my opinion! : ) 10 answers - Asked By: Krista and Masons Mama - 4/24/2009

	What benefits will i get as a single parent? I'll be most likely a single mum...I'm only 23. I'm also only 2 weeks into my new job...I now its not easy to get a council flat. I just don't know where to start from...can anyone help me and tell me what kind of money i will be able to get a week? I am working but only 2 weeks into the new job plus im on probation period so i haven't told my boss yet Plus after i give birth i will be unemployed or on maternity leave but bc i have only just started a new job i dnt know whther i'll be entitled to maternity pay but im also interested in benefits i would be getting from the gov 13 answers - Asked By: katarzyna b - 7/18/2007

	How to convince my boyfriend to have a baby? I am 16. He is 18. We've been together for almost a year and a half :) Back in January, I had a pregnancy scare & I realised I really wanted the test to be positive! We were talking about everything when we thought I was pregnant, from living together to who the babys godparents would be. Then I was really crestfallen when the test turned up negative. I really do think that in spite of my age I am ready for a baby: He is not in college, has a part time job, his own apartment, is on social welfare payment. I am home schooled because I was bullied, so I only do 7hrs tutoring per week & a couple of hours homework a week. We are totally in love have had conversations about our future together (we're actually planning to get a couple tattoo soon). We have supportive parents and older siblings. We have loads of equipment left from when my little sister was a baby, & his baby stuff too (also, my cousin has a baby & by the time my baby was born, he'd be done with all the stuff he has for his baby now). I am graduating in June/July 2014 and I am NOT going to college. He is not going back to college either; we are both considering online college. We are financially independant & the baby has 2 guardians for when I want to socialise or when he wants to socialise. Also, there are state benefits for babies & pregnancy. I realise the struggle from watching others, and have considered every area. Also, neither of us like parties, in fact I hate drinking & watching others being drunk, the world is better off without it. I just know he'd be an amazing daddy & I'd be a great mammy. He doesn't want a baby.. how do I convince him to have one with me? He doesn't want me to because I have post traumatic stress disorder, self harm, suicidal and depressive symptoms, but a baby would really help me, I think. NO HATING @ Take A Test- f*ck you. I am sane, how dare you. 8 answers - Asked By: cOmPlEtEfxCkInGiDiOt - 4/6/2013


Content is not owned or controlled by Monster. Any content concerns should be addressed with Yahoo! Yahoo! Does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any Yahoo! Answers content. Yahoo! Disclaimer.

Popular Questions

	Is this normal for an interviewer to do this? So today I went in for an interview and I was going in for the 2nd interview by the head chief executive. now this is where it got weird, so she asked me about my previous jobs and said how much she liked that product over that product. then she started talking about her daughter? an her divorce ...then how she didn't finish college because she was making more money doing what she did for this company ... then she talked about how her teenage daughter is a handful... I just played it cool thinking she was using some sort of psychology thing to trick me into saying something stupid. the interview ended and she seemed happy an I was escorted to the door... now I'm freaking confused? is this normal behavior for an executive? like it felt like she was going to burst into tears at one point and tell me her life problems... is this normal? was she trying to see how I react or something? 6 answers - Asked By: Clone - 11/7/2012

	How do I get a job with Dodgy work history and no experience? Basically- no degree, although I have tried completing one in the past and stopped because of physical and mental health issues which were overwhelming to deal with along with going to classes full time. I'm not stupid and I am quite articulate. I am 23 and have only worked for about two years retail in high school and stopped working to go to university. I worked a few months in 2010 retail after I dropped out but it was only a seasonal position, and the only reason why I have not been able to constantly work is because of mental health issues. I had also tried going back to community college during my free time since i left university in 2008/9 and I had panic attacks while in community college, which made my anxiety worse from then on. Well recently I met a good doctor and he prescribed me some meds that are stabilizing my moods and I feel the best I've felt in years, and I'm ready to work. Thing is, I don't know how to get a job now since I've spent literally years being depressed and anxious doing nothing. I don't really have anything to put on my resume, and I never finished my AA degree either. All I've done is cashiering and although I do the job well and I get promoted easily when I do these jobs because I'm a hard worker and I try to go above and beyond what they ask of me,which is the attitude I have no matter what kind of work I'm doing as long as I'm getting paid. But I hate cashiering because it's too easy and I want a job that is more interesting. Any suggestions for me on how to get a job that is NOT Retail with the type of background I have right now? I also realize I have to go to college to get certain types of jobs, I am talking about what I can do right here right now. 1 answer - Asked By: Alex Prieto - 10/14/2012

	Why honesty, hard work and dedication have no place at work? Recently I have overlooked for a project at work and I am unable to accept it why? I am hard working, dedicated, maintain a very professional decorum, very cordial with my colleagues and bosses, give respect to one and all. Still people who take the p***, argue with managers, gossip mongers have been selected for some very responsible positions at work. I seriously can't get my head around it why, why unprofessional people who have no work ethics being selected over me, whereas I have a track record of excellent performance and never shy away from any work my manager ask me to do? I am at my lowest point and not getting hold of my manager to ask the question why not me, why them who can't even bother? I am feeling like a complete loser, giving years to this place, building my performance, trust and this is how I get rewarded. Why my life is so shit, anything I wish for turns to dust? 1 answer - Asked By: network7 - 11/6/2012

	What do you say when they ask what you want to be paid? ? Wen you apply at a job and they ask how mch you want as a salary what do you say? 2 answers - Asked By: Colette - 11/24/2011

	I have applied for over 100 jobs I have gotten no calls for a job interview, what can i do? As stated in my question I've applied for multiple jobs and gotten no job interview, you name a place I've applied there. I've said i will work ridiculous hours from like 12am to 5am and nothing. I've said I am willing to work weekends public holidays everything and I have gotten nothing back I am so desperate for money it's not funny. 9 answers - Asked By: Jamie - 1/9/2012

	What to wear to a job interview VS a career fair? So I have a nice white button up shirt, business skirt and pants, and a suit jacket. I'm applying for a software development job and I'm very short and can look young so I'm trying to look adult, yet professional. I'm also attractive so I'm trying not to look too sexy. For the career fair I'm thinking of wearing just my nice shirt and a skirt with low heels. My reasoning being it's approachable and attractive without going overboard since the career fair hosts are mostly younger male recent grads. I want to be remembered but not intimidating. For my interviews I was thinking pants, suit jacket (power suit). My reasoning being it'll be older execs and HR people (mostly women) so less sexy with the pants but more powerful with the suit jacket. What do you think?! 2 answers - Asked By: Beast - 9/23/2012

	What is NOC Engineer ?. What are his responcibilites ? 1 answer - Asked By: vishal - 2/23/2006

	How can l find a job in the pharmacitical field as a sales and marketing manager,in south africa? L want to study medicine and work as a doctor but l am limited due to luck of required monyes. however l swtched on to anther career but still within my career interests as a care giver, but this is somthing to do with sales and marketing in the pharmcitical industry. 2 answers - Asked By: tonnydanabwembya - 12/24/2005

	What questions should I ask at a job interview for a healthcare recruiter position? I have an interview tomorrow with a healthcare recruiting firm and I want to have a few good questions to ask about the job/industry, but it will be a new field for me and I'm not sure what to ask about. Any suggestions? 1 answer - Asked By: stephinrado - 5/8/2006

	Job description of supply and logistics manager? I am applying for a job of supply and logistics manager so I need to know more about the this job 1 answer - Asked By: waelasfour - 6/19/2006

	I am a student who is working at Deloitte during this summer. What is the dress code during the summer? Being a student my budget is limited so any help regarding specific retail outlets to go to would be very helpful. I am working in downtown toronto for Deloitte (accounting firm) and the summers are very hot here in Canada. Any specific advice on what clothing items this MALE student should wear to work would be helpful. The dress code is "business casual". As if any student knows what that means. 2 answers - Asked By: kamol_yason - 5/3/2006

	What is the difference between a nurse practitioner and an ARNP? Is there any difference between a "nurse practitioner" and an "advanced registered nurse practitioner"? 1 answer - Asked By: lucysmom - 3/27/2006

	Debenhams job application/interview help? I'm applying online for a job at Debenhams. It's just a temporary part time job but I have no previous retail experience, just in customer service, and I am finding some of the questions rather difficult. Our commitment to training and development encourages our people to grow their futures with us. If successful in joining our team, how will you become an expert at what you do? and At Debenhams, our people make all the difference to our customers. If you were a Stock Movement Adviser with us, how would our customers know that you are focused on their individual shopping experience? Any help in answering these questions would be greatly appreciated, many thanks! 1 answer - Asked By: Mac - 9/7/2012

	What does marketing communications means to a manager? 1 answer - Asked By: Gotti girl - 7/23/2006

	I want to become an events/party planner. Does anyone know how I would begin my own business in this field? I am in the process of planning my own wedding and I am having a fantastic time doing so. I have always enjoyed planning things: group vacations for my friends and I, road trips, etc... I could be described as a slight control freak and I am a perfectionist. I know I would exceed, and enjoy my career, if I were to make this a possibility. How do I do it? How do I get my name out there? How much do event planners charge for their services? I have a lot of questions, and hope that people who are self employed would be able to give me some pointers on getting my business up and running. Thank You in advance for your time and help. 2 answers - Asked By: Careerdriven - 4/24/2006

	Math Teacher? I am going to college in about a year or so and planning on going to school for teaching...I am hoping to be a high school level math teacher and just wondered if you guys knew of any good schools with a good teaching or math program? 3 answers - Asked By: ♥Special K - 8/20/2006

	I want to become an Escrow Officer, does anyone know how to go about it? What kind of training will I need? I know that Escrow is within Title industry in Texas. What would be the best way to get my foot in the door. I am assuming I will have to start as an Escrow assistant and work my way up, but I would really like to find out more about this career path. How does an officer usually get licensed? Are there classes we need to take and exam to take? Any response is appreciated. 2 answers - Asked By: schang25 - 2/10/2006

	Where to find Java Mobile Application developer in Singapore ? I am looking for someone (or company) to program a simple (I think) java mobile application, but do not know where to look. Any ideas where to start ? 1 answer - Asked By: ppb - 7/11/2006

	How much does an Electrical Engineer make? I'm thinking of completing an Electrical Engineering degree and was wondering what people are making just out of college and those that have been in the field 5+ yrs. The main careers I am looking at are Design Engineer and Technical Sales Engineering. Any input from people with those jobs would be great! 3 answers - Asked By: MacDadRaj - 3/23/2006

	Why does NCO-RMH in Manila give delayed paychecks to their resigned employees. it's a call center company? I was told by the people in the HR department that our checks have to come from Pensylvannia. Does it normally take that long? I mean more than two months for a paycheck that i worked hard for.? 1 answer - Asked By: nightshades9678 - 8/28/2006

Monster Communities

Teaching Community: Where teachers meet and learn.
ArtBistro: Create and connect.
Excelle: Networking for the career-minded woman.
Nursing Link: Where nurses call the shots.
More Monster Communities

Monster Partners

Scholarships: Scholarships, financial aid and more ways to pay for school.
Education.org: Find top campus and online degree programs.
Military.com: Military portal for the US Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps and Coast Guard.
Financial Aid: Scholarships & financial aid.
Staffing for Government Jobs: Staffing and hiring solutions for federal government agency jobs.
More Monster Partners

Job Hunt Strategy

Six Ways to Make a Recruiter Hate You

If you want to blow your chances with recruiters -- and, by extension, with the companies they work for -- here are six perfect ways to do so.

Resumes & Cover Letters

Rev Up Your Resume to Relocate

Hoping to relocate? Get the ball rolling on landing the right job in the right location with these expert resume and cover letter tips.

Interviewing

100 Potential Interview Questions

Interview questions can run the gamut. You probably won't face all 100 of these, but you should still be prepared to answer at least some of them.

Salary & Benefits

10 Questions to Ask When Negotiating Salary

Most of us aren't natural negotiators, but asking these 10 questions during salary negotiations can help you get everything you deserve.

Attracting Candidates

Facebook for Employers: Make Friends, Not Fans

Recruiting? Go where the talent is. See why recruiters have befriended social networks.

Employee Sourcing

Employment Index

November Monster Employment Index Grows 13% Year-Over-Year, Tenth Consecutive Month of Positive Annual Growth.

Interviewing Candidates

Improving Interview Skills: Learn from the Experts

What’s the key to a great interview? According to experts: Practice, practice, practice.

Workforce Planning

Enhance your Small Business Marketing Strategy with Social Media

Social media. It’s everywhere. But how can it help you? Learn how to utilize social media even monetize it.

For Seekers

Campus and Online Degrees: Advance your career and earn more with an online degree.
Free Salary Wizard: What are you worth? Find out and negotiate a better salary.
Research Careers: Get information on jobs and career paths to help guide your choices
Questions & Answers: Find answers to all your career related questions -- powered by Yahoo! Answers
Resume Distribution Service: Our distribution service puts your resume right in the hands of recruiters.
Resume Writing Services: Our experts will craft a keyword-rich resume that stands out in the crowd.
More Career Resources

For Employers

Career Ad Network: Target your job posting to more candidates on thousands of websites.
Hire Right Background Checks: Explore our background check packages to improve the quality of your hires.
Hiring Home Page: Find the best candidates for your business with Monster hiring solutions.
Job Postings: Find the right solution for your hiring needs. Starting at $99.
Power Resume Search: Monster's new search technology precisely matches people with your jobs.
Resource Center: Find staffing insights, labor trends, HR best practices and more.
Target Post: Connect with skilled, hourly and administrative candidates for only $99.

Social Media

Jobs on Twitter: Find jobs in your area and industry.
Monster Careers: Tune into our career advice and discussions tackling a wide range of topics and industries.
Monster Corporate & PR: Stay up-to-date on the latest news. Get the 'Who', 'What', 'When', and 'Why' on all things Monster related.
Monster Customer Service: Got a Monster question? We've got the answer. Whether you're a job seeker or employer, we can help you find the answers you need.
Monster for Employers: Find advice on hiring.
Follow Us: Check out our many pages and stay connected with the latest industry news, events, career advice and job openings.

Are You An Employer?