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problem with a first time mother and childminder?

Ive just returned back to full time work after 6 months of maternity leave. During my working hours my daughter is being cared for by a really good childminder. However, I find myself really jealous of this childminder, as she gets to stay at home with my daughter all day while Im in work. I do like my job and not only do I feel lucky to have a job in these hard times but I also need to work as we cant survive on one wage. Anyway, getting back to the point, the childminder is brilliant but she seems to want to give "advice" about my daughter that being honest, I dont want to hear. For example, I was telling her a story about bathing Holly (my daughter) in a baby bath in the sitting room one night. The childminder then turned around and suggested that I should wash Holly in the kitchen sink, as she could look out the window etc. Another time I was saying, just in passing that Holly still had some cradle cap on her head and I was using a special sampoo. The childminder advised me to use baby oil instead. One other thing that annoyed me was she changed Hollys feeding times without asking me. For example, Holly usually had a bottle at 12 noon, and a pot of fruit and yogurt at 3 o clock, the childminder swapped these times around, and I know its only something small but I would have liked to be asked. She also recommends that I put Holly (7 months) in a walker, I dont want her to go in a walker yet as she had a click hip and dodgy knee at birth. I know the childminder is only trying to do her best and help but it gets it to and I dont know why!!!I am a first time mother with no family support bar my partner but I feel undermined. Any advice?

Asked By: - 7/28/2009
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I am a nanny and one of my rules for myself is never give advice without being asked first. Just be careful that when you tell her things about the baby it doesn't come off sounding like you need advice. For example when you mention cradle cap it can be interpreted as you wondering if she has any ideas for that. If she... More
Answered By: luvmy4boyz - 7/28/2009
Additional Answers (11)
discus it with the childminder she probably wants best for your child as much as you do. She is the one with experience right sitting all day with her, she might now what's better About the walker i don't know what to say consult a doctor on the situation
Answered By: reddragonn2006 - 7/28/2009
 
Sounds like you are getting a lot of advice all ready. Don't take it personal, she really is just trying to help. Accept her opinion and she isn't really doing any harm to your little one. She is yours and you do what you want at home.
Answered By: peppermint_paddy - 7/28/2009
 
When it comes to her changing her routine I would just come straight out and tell her that you do it that way for a reason and if she wants to change things you would appreciate her asking you first. As for her giving you unwanted advise. You are going to get that all the time from many different people. They can't... More
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Answered By: the_little_one_said - 7/28/2009
 
I'm guessing that she knows that you have no other support to chat with about things to do with babies and she knows you are a first time mother. This is probably why she is making these suggestions and she knows that you can take them or leave them... More
Answered By: zestysesky - 7/28/2009
 
Explain to her that you are the mother and things are to be done your way. It is important that a seven month old has a bottle before solids and not the other way around, so you should definately make sure she changes that back to the way you had it. As for the walker, they are not good for ANY baby. They promote bad... More
Answered By: Skye - 7/28/2009
 
Next time she gives you advice you jiust tell her "THank you but I am happy doing things my way" and repeat this phrase when she says stuff you dont need to know...always use the same phrase and she'll get the picture....she should change NOTHING without your consent....so next time she does that you say "I would... More
Answered By: Daisyhill - 7/28/2009
 
There is nothing wrong if she is trying to help. I used the baby oil for my kids it did work better. And I bathed them in the sink because their back was up against the sink and it prevented any accidents. She is giving your baby excellent care. Babysitters never follow feeding times. The baby may be cranky because she... More
Answered By: hottie - 7/28/2009
 
if at all possible i would tell her what you just said - you feel undermined as a mother and a little threatened. bummer - sorry.
Answered By: amsam - 7/28/2009
 
(have not spell checked so i may have some spelling mistakes as typed it quick... More
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Answered By: Chantelle W - 7/28/2009
 
That would annoy me, too... More
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Answered By: AgeofAquarius31 - 7/28/2009
 
She's only trying to help and you're being touchy! If she wasn't interested then you'd be worrying that you've left your child with someone who doesn't care. And don't dismiss all her ideas - some of them may be good. If you had family around then you'd be getting advice from all angles! If there's something that you... More
Answered By: Cala B - 7/28/2009
 
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