Search SEARCH

Men: Can you help me understand this middle-aged guy?

I'm a 53 year old woman, my male friend in 57. We had been out of touch for 24 years, found each other online in early July, on Facebook. We liked each other a lot 30 years ago when we worked together and I was a friend of his family, but he was married then, and we were not "involved". He divorced several years ago. I was married in 1982 and divorced in 2004. His kids and mine are grown. We now live 250 miles apart in the same state. At first he was VERY enthusiastic about being back in touch, more than I had expected. Six days into the online reunion (emails), he told me he'd been secretly in love with me back 30 yrs ago. I wasn't surprised, and was glad, because I felt the same. He said he'd come see me sometime. He called me when we'd been back in touch 18 days, and we had a nice, peaceful, friendly talk, not romantic at all really, although I'd like that. I was the one to say by email before the call that I thought we should take our renewed friendship slow and be sure we knew what we were looking for, and whether we were better as friends or dating. When he got off the phone, he emailed and only said "I love you [my name] and always have." <bg> We texted quite often in the first couple of weeks, but then since about the time he said this, the emails and texts have really dropped off. I calmly asked him about this. He wrote that he is "not avoiding" me, and our friendship "means a lot" to him, but that he hates his job, at which he is working very long hours, and he's been focused on that. He's thinking of making a job change but basically within the same very lucrative field. He feels that he's at a crossroads in his life, and that a lot has gone on that makes him irritable. We've been planning that I would stop by when I'm on vacation and we'd go to lunch, Labor Day week. Today, on Facebook, he changed his "status" from "single" to "it's complicated", which IS one of the drop-down choices, not one he made up. Hm... does he have a girlfriend? I asked more than once early on, so I wouldn't be stepping in where I wasn't wanted. I DO believe he's very busy with work, but I am very confused about why he jumped into the expressions of "love", before I was even ready, and now is in contact less and now this new post online... I guess what I want to know is, why would a man say he loved a woman so early on? He DEFINITELY does not think I'm an easy mark sexually, in fact, he knows well that I am not. He hasn't contacted me at all in five days. I haven't emailed in five days, or texted in two. I'm trying to give him some space. I hadn't seen him as a player. Does it sound like, possibly, he's got some drug or alcohol thing going on? (like, which made him feel able to say he loved me, and then he sort of forgot to follow up on that by staying in touch regularly???) Interested in any insight you can offer.

Asked By: catintrepid - 8/26/2009
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
This has "middle age crisis" written all over it. And I say that as 46 year old guy... More
Answered By: Your Grace - 8/26/2009
Additional Answers (1)
He sounds to not confused and seems to have a lot going on at the moment. Just work things out slowly .
Answered By: gold digger - 8/26/2009
 
Sponsored results
Over 483 Local Jobs Now Hiring In Your Area. $18-$87/Hr - Apply Today!
Jobs.Quick-com
Local Positions Open in Your Area. Hiring Now - Apply Today!
Local.Jobs2Careers.com
Click. Search. Apply. Free!
www.JobDiagnosis.com
Jobs hiring near your local area. Part-time, Full-time, Work at home.
www.HiringLocally.com

Other Career Questions

What is your current job? Why did you choose this job? What do you enjoy about your job? What do you dislike about your job? What would be your perfect job? Would you rather have this j...
3 answers - Asked By: drop pants not bombs!.♥ - 3/2/2010
Where are the jobs? Is productivity and globalization creating a permanent “recession” of jobs? My main issue is I am doing a paper for school and have no idea where to begin. I was hoping suggestions...
4 answers - Asked By: bayebd24【ツ】 - 11/21/2007
Hi ok im 19 and about to start college to do an acess course into a university. Ive been browsing through all the courses and im tottaly stuck! I thought politics but im scared ill end up with some r...
1 answers - Asked By: roseparkerly - 1/26/2009

Content is not owned or controlled by Monster. Any content concerns should be addressed with Yahoo!
Yahoo! Does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any Yahoo! Answers content. Yahoo! Disclaimer.

Popular Articles

Best-Paying Work-from-Home Jobs Article Rating
It’s easier than ever to work from home. Of course, not every job is a mobile job, and some companies aren’t interested in having their employees work from home.
2013 Marketing Jobs Outlook Article Rating
The US may be facing another year of anemic hiring overall, but that won't be the case in the high-orbit world of multichannel, digital media marketing.
For Employers: Post Jobs | Search Resumes | Advertise
About Monster | Work for Monster | Advertise with Us | AdChoices | Partner with Us | Investor Relations | Social Media
Terms of Use | Privacy Center | Accessibility Center | Help | Security | Contact Us | Sitemap | Mobile
©2014 Monster - All Rights Reserved U.S. Patents No. 5,832,497; 7,599,930 B1; 7,827,125 and 7,836,060 MWW - Looking for Monster Cable? - V: 2014.1.40.24-317
eTrustLogo