My dreams were shattered, I was feeling terrible! Why did they do this to me?

Well I was a college graduate approximately one year ago. I was a carefree guy, doing okay in studies. I loved the subject computer networks. I could relate to the subject and it was logical and challenging at the same time. It wasn’t anything like Management Information Systems or whatever. I completed my 6th semester. We had placements coming up. I prepared for them. The first company was an electrical company, I didn’t get through the written round, and actually many didn’t. The next was Cognizant Technological Services (CTS) all my friends wrote the written test and we qualified and I got selected as a trainee software engineer there. Well it was a mass recruiting company and it was no BIG deal. Next there would be nicer companies. Well the rule in our college is that we can get placed 2 companies only, one paying above 4 lakhs per annum and one paying below 4 lakhs per annum. And I had got placed in a company which was paying below 4 lakhs per annum. Now there were really big companies visiting our college. I was prepared. On September 22nd Nokia Siemens Networks (NSN) visited our campus for recruitment. They started off with a really impressive Presentation, which had their video and all that. Next they told us how big really the company is, and how advantageous they feel because they have Nokia and Siemens both giants as their parent company. And it was a networks company, mobile communication (Another of my favorite subjects). The profile which they offered was Impressive, very lucrative. I was a software engineer in the R&D division of NSN.I was really impressed. The pay was also decent i.e. 4 lakhs per annum. I wrote the entrance and got through. I faced a tough interview and was jugged suitable. And faced another round of interview and got through that too. At the end of the day at 8 pm. Some 32 of us were given the offer. 5 were my class mates and friends! I was really happy. It was like a birthday gift for me. I was really happy; I was in a networking company, doing all that coding, and working with my friends, with brilliant minds and cutting edge technology. I was on the 9th cloud. 9 months passed by, we never really got our joining dates. But we were sure that NSN would give the date of joining. Many companies had visited our campus and most of my friends were getting placed and all was nice. I was done with my quota of companies. Then on 9th of June the next year, I got very depressing news. NSN had honored just 18 out of 32 offers they had made. My dreams were shattered, I was feeling terrible! Why did they do this to me? Why did they recruit me in the first place and ditch me later? Why nip my career when it was just a bud? Why didn’t they give me another chance to prove myself? I cried a lot of times. I wanted to end my life. And I still want to. I have no job. I am depressed daily, constantly. When will I earn like my friends do? I am just sick of my life. Both the companies won’t give the date of joining. I am just so unlucky? Am I so unworthy? Why is this recession affecting me? I am just a kid, passed out of college. Why should it happen to me????? I think of suicide every day. I want to suicide in that company NSN. I can’t talk to anyone. I have no close friends as most of them are working now. Who’ll listen to me? Who’ll want to? I have given up on life. I am sick of it. I can’t think clear or coherently. I wish I am in an accident. I wish I’d die in my sleep. Now 4 months are over after I graduated. Which company will give me a job? I am worthless now. I had dreams. Is it wrong to dream? My family members don’t like me anymore, I am jobless. All my friends earning good and I am wasted here. I wished I was never born.

Asked By: - 9/14/2009
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Rohan... More
Answered By: Elohtim - 9/14/2009
Additional Answers (4)
Oh dear don't get depressed,this recession has broken many hearts,whether of kids or experienced people.I was also on the top of the world,when I joined Reliance,Mumbai 2 years back,but suddenly was called by HR & asked to resign from a job which was paying me 14 lacs p.a.package.You can imagine my condition,I cried... More
Answered By: ALLEGATOR - 9/14/2009
you are sick in mind. if that was the case try out for further education and keep searching for job. if you have any senior friends or relatives working in good companies ask them to help you. look out for openings in private. there are many walkins for freshers! why get disheartened. I am a post graduate and searching... More
Answered By: Rohit - 9/14/2009
Realize that life in general is completely and utterly meaningless, you can work your ass off, but the inevitable outcome is still the thing we all seem to fear the most, death. Having a high paying job or working at Burger King, nothing will change this. Stop dwelling over minor details and move on.
Answered By: AtTheGates - 9/14/2009
My dear, I do weep for you. My heart reaches out to you. I know in my own heart that what you need is Jesus. Why not get on your knees and ask forgiveness of your sins, and then ask Jesus to come into your life? Find a good Baptist church to attend regularly. Ask the pastor for some counseling sessions with him... More
Answered By: Regina (SOC) - 9/14/2009
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