I'm happy to hear you're considering moving to Ottawa or Gatineau. You appear to be considering whether your finances will improves and whether the weather will be tolerable.
As you know, your area of the map is notorious for the most expensive housing costs in the country. However, you would need some hard numbers to compare the two. Here they are:
(1) Here are side-by-side statistics of Victoria and Ottawa from Statistics Canada: http://www12.statcan.ca/census-recensement/2006/dp-pd/prof/92-591/index.cfm?Lang=E
(2) Here are side-by-side statistics of Victoria and Ottawa from RBC Community Corner: http://communitycorner.mapanswer.com/FindingYourHome.do
You will have to input BC>Victoria & ON>Ottawa as each session is different.
All the date you need will be in those tables but take care when reading stats. For example, you'll notice that the personal income in Ottawa is above the national average whereas Victoria's is below the national average. Don't be mislead as Victoria might have an older population of Canadians that go there to retire on a lower fixed pension income that drags the regional average down.
You should also consider how your tax situation will change. It's easy to ignore this when comparing numbers but taxes are your greatest lifetime expense:
You may be advised that some provinces are cheaper than others but that certainly isn't the case if you're considering your tax situation properly. If you decide to live in Gatineau and then work in Ottawa, you can expect the CRA to withhold some taxes to make sure they get paid and with the year-end calculations you may not get it all back on favorable terms.
From January 1 , 2008 to December 31 , 2008 - Ottawa CDA
Max Temp: 32.7 °C
Max Temp.Date: Jun.8 2008
Min temp: -26.8 °C
Min Temp. Date: Feb.29 2008
Precip Accumulation: 952.5 mm
From January 1 , 2008 to December 31 , 2008 - Victoria Gonz
Max Temp: 29.7 °C
Max Temp.Date: Aug.5 2008
Min temp: -8.8 °C
Min Temp. Date: Dec.20 2008
Precip Accumulation: 289.4 mm
The summers are very hot here and the winters certainly are very cold. None of the four seasons will short-change you if you like seasonal activities. Ottawa's infrastructure is built to accommodate the climate. Going from one heated car park to another takes the bite out of winter if you never want to go outside although it's nothing like Montreal's tunnel system.
One key difference between Ottawa and Gatineau is the municipal government. The unprecedented snow fall last winter emptied out the each cities snow removal fund. Ottawa went into debt to keep the streets clear and dipped into the parking fund (making residents pay for downtown parking on Saturdays), while Gatineau let it's streets pile up with snow and gave it's police force snowmobiles to get around. I can't speak for Gatineau residents but I was happy to be in Ottawa.
Visitors often comment that Ottawa is very clean which is a weird comment to hear over and over but they might have a point there. Also, those that have moved and lived here have said that Ottawa is a great place to raise a family period. It's not a party town, it's not a retirement town, it's just a good place for that specific child-raising part of your life.
I hope you and your husband find a good solution. All the best.