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Could someone please grade my essay out of 6?

The question: Do people accomplish more when they are allowed to do things in their own way? Doing things in ones own way is crucial for accomplishments of the highest level to be reached. Several examples from history clearly demonstrate that more accomplishment is made when one is allowed to elaborate and complete things in a personalized way. As shown by Howard Shultz, a successful business is created by being creative and expanding on that creativity. In Pennsylvania, USA thirty years ago Shultz graduated college and applied for a job as a sales manager at a small cafe, after already having some work experience in the house ware company Ham marplast. The founders of the small cafe, Gordon Bowker and Jerry Baldwin, accepted Shultz and soon the cafe became very successful due to Shultz's tactics. A few years later Shultz went on a vacation to Italy where he discovered Italian- styled cafe's that deeply interested him. After returning to America Shultz revealed this idea to the founders of the small cafe. After they refused to change the style of their cafe. Shultz was compelled to create his own which he called "Il Giornale", which is Italian for daily. After three years Shultz found investors that allowed him to spread his cafe across the world, opening locations in the Far East, Middle East, Europe as we4ll as over 2000 location in North AMerica. By now he had changed the name of the cafe to Starbucks. Thus, because Shultz decided to continue with his original idea he was able to transform a simple idea to a multibillion dollar reality. Through the actions of Jack Welch it is obvious that personal input in a plan is what makes a plan succeed. Jack Welch joined the Company General Electric in 1960. After years of ardous work he was named vice-president of GE in 1972, senior vice-president in 1977, chairman in 1979, the finally was given the Honour of being General Electrics eight and youngest chairman and CEO in 1981. He ran the company the way he knew best, as a "grocery store". He said through this way he was allowed to get to know his eemployeesbetter and this gae him a chance to be involved in all aspects of the company. Hence, Welch's personalize way of management was proved the best way for him to go when the comany's market value increased from $18 billion in 1981 to an astonishing estimate of $80 billion in 2001. As demonstrated by Lee I acocca, using ones own tactics allows one to greatly accomplish. Lee Iacocca started his career in 1964 at the Ford Motor company, where he eventually rose to become president from 1970 until 1978. Iacocca left the company in 1979 after a dispute with Henry Ford and became president, CEO, and chairman of Chrysler Corporation 1979. With his incredulous financial handling tactics, Iacocca saved the company form bankruptcy. He restored the corporation through shrewd financial policies, a 1.2 billion dollar loan guarantee and tax concessions grated by Congress. Many questioned his risk of taking such a large loan to which he replied, "We at Chrysler borrow money the old fashion way. We pay it back." Therefore, Iacocca proved sometime for one to accomplish a goal one must proceed with what one believes in. After careful analysis of Howard Shultz, Jack Welch and Lee Iacocca one can see the doing things ones own way, indeed, leads to more success.

Asked By: pink33837 - 11/30/2009
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I CAN GIVE YOU SCORE OF 5... More
Answered By: ⌠QbanBoy⌡ - 11/30/2009
Additional Answers (3)
I would agree with the first answer. However, I suggest you add more of an introduction and conclusion. Two very important components of an essay.Also read allowed to yourself for grammatical errors. Hope you get a 6/6!!
Answered By: hello. - 11/30/2009
 
The information that you included is top notch. However, your grammatical style is a bit awkward. I suggest that you read it out loud and you will see what I mean... More
Answered By: greengo - 11/30/2009
 
5/6 Great use of higher level vocabulary Outstanding structure
Answered By: An Onerous Task. - 11/30/2009
 
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