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Moms what do you do when you have no family around you?

Halo Mom: Unfortunately my mother can't stay, she passed this summer. Also I would ask my father, but his fiancee is battling cancer and he lives more then 10000 KMs from me right now, so that is a long haul. We're trying to find a solution.
All my family is on the other side of Canada, and my husband has some family here in town, but they are all very busy with their own business and stuff, and some of them we wouldn't trust to look after our son over nights.
I'm wondering what you do when you are delivering your second baby without family to help you with your first child. Or what you think you might do? Would you send your toddler to the sitter while you delivered?(I'm having a c section so just my husband can be there in the room) I really wish he could be in the hospital with us for the birth but with no family/friends to help out I can't see it happening. What would you do? Would you think about asking your sitter to come to the hospital for awhile?

Asked By: ~~Daniel's Mommy~~ - 12/6/2009
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I'd ask the sitter. Just remember they are paid by the hour, even if they are sleeping. Although you may be able to pay them less when they are sleeping.

I was a nanny for 2 years, and I would have been fine with watching the kids for a few days. It was my full time job anyway, but I would have wanted at least 50?ay for the hours I was spending there sleeping. I think really I would have expected full pay around the clock though. My rate was $12 an hour, so just 24 hours would be $288. If it was 5 days I was needed it would be $1440, which was just over 2 weeks salary for me. If your sitter does not have obligations, they will most likely be very happy to receive the extra income!!!

If your sitter is not in school, have another job etc., I'm sure they will be thrilled to watch your kids around the clock for pay. It is more whether or not this is a financial possibility for you. You may be financially better off paying for a relative to fly in for a week or two. But the only obstacle to have a sitter for a week is a financial one.

You can certainly ask your sitter to bring the child to the hospital, assuming they have a driver's license and a vehicle, and you pay for gas etc., but I'm not sure your child will have a good time. If it is close by perhaps they can stop by for a few minutes, but overall your child will likely be uncomfortable and bored.
Answered By: Ivy has Twin Boys! - 12/6/2009
Additional Answers ()
M********e
Answered By: iuo - 12/6/2009
Could your mom come to stay with you for a two weeks after the birth?

Could someone you trust come and stay with you?

If you have time, there is time to plan someone coming out
Answered By: Halo Mom - 12/6/2009
I've had this problem with all three of our children. We're military and we're stationed away from family.

You just have to figure out what works for you guys. With our children, we were able to have family members fly in to visit right around the time I delivered, so they would take shifts watching our children and coming up to the hospital to visit. If that wasn't an option for us, we would have had a friend simply watch our elder children while I was in the hospital. I mean, surely you have at least ONE friend that would be willing to bring your child to the hospital for you. Even if that friend is your regular babysitter.
Answered By: Just Call Me G - 12/6/2009
A good friend would be a good choice. Otherwise a sitter would be a good idea. However, keep in mind that that will be pretty expensive since the sitter will have to stay with the baby for a certain amount of time.

Don't be scared to ask for help. You are in better position if you open your mouth for help than not too. Have you considered going to a church and ask for help? My church helped me a lot when I delivered my baby and my husband got into a knee accident at work. Church members brought me homemade food, took care of my baby, and even cleaned my house!

Good luck and trust in the Lord!
Answered By: barbaracdf - 12/6/2009
Well, I'll tell you what I did. I hired a sitter (mine was a scheduled c/s too) to stay at home with the toddler, and husband was with me in the hospital for the delivery. After we were out of recovery room and in our own hospital room, husband went home to relieve the babysitter and brought the toddler to the hospital to see us and meet the new baby.
I think having the toddler in the hospital is really unnecessary, they won't let him into the operating or recovery room anyway, so it wouldn't be for a least a couple of hours that he could see you anyway. And that's if everything goes smoothly. What would he and babysitter do there? Just hang out in the waiting room bored and collecting germs?
Answered By: nd1400 - 12/6/2009
In your situation, I would ask a friend or neighbour if they wouldn't mind watching my daughter. Depending on how close I was to my sitter, I would ask them. Heck, what have you got to lose? :-)
Answered By: sammyyy - 12/6/2009
How far away is your family? Do you have a neighbour or friend you could call for a few hours? All of our family is 4 hours away, but I didn't have the luxury of knowing when I would deliver. My mother-in-law was on-call. A few days before my due date I started feeling crappy so we asked my MIL to come down the day before my due date just to be sure. I went into labour that afternoon, just before they arrived. But we had my neighbour across the street, my neighbour next door, and some friends all lined up too, just in case. It would not have been ideal to leave my daughter with our neighbours because although we know them well and trust them, she doesn't know them that well. But in times like this, you do what you have to do to get by. Thankfully, grandma arrived in time.

So if I was in your situation, and knew that I was going to be delivering during normal business hours I would definitely send my daughter to the sitters. What choice do you have?
Answered By: I LOVE my Thumbs-Down Fairy!!! - 12/6/2009
That's a tough situation. What I would do is send him to the sitters for the day, Once the C-Sections done they should allow your son in the room, then hubby and him can go home for the night and come back the next day.
Answered By: Erika (Nina and Brady's Mom) - 12/6/2009
I hear you on the no family thing. we are out here in alberta and both our families are in ontario. it sucks and its hard. we only have one baby, but i would give anything to have their help. as for your situation, sounds like the sitter is your only real option. maybe she can bring your son to the hospital after the baby is born if thats allowed and possible.
Answered By: angeldust_599 - 12/6/2009
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