How can I tell my friends and family I am bi?

	How can I tell my friends and family I am bi? I am 23 and bi I have only confided in one person. I am afraid of what my parents will think when I tell them. One of my good friends is a lesbian and she told me to just be open and honest about it. Any ideas on how to approach the subject? Asked By: Lostsoul - 12/8/2009

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Your GF does not care about your mother. I believe you have no idea of what you are. Being "bi" means you enjoy sex on both sides of the spectrum, gearing more towards homosexuality, if you ask me. Obviously, there is a lack of assertiveness in your gender definition, and a lack of roll models in you. But in the case of being a Lesbian (which it may not be your choice tomorrow, when your hormones sort of slow down, and you re-think your sexual orientation) this is what I believe: By being 'honest' and 'frank' - as she says - you are going to drive a 10 inches spike through your mother's heart. For what? So you can come out of your closet? Why are you in a closet, in the first place? Afraid to look right into the mirrors? Affraid you may not like what you observe there? We all have those moments. My sincere opinion is that you are trying to right a wrong with a worst one. If feels like asking for something. Recognition, maybe? In the first place, if you decided to be a Lesbian, that is an affair between you and your conciense. If you do believe in God, then it's something between you and Him. He is gonna judge all of us. What you are looking for - forgive me for being blunt (I have been known for not being a politically correct person) - is a "certificate" of normality, given by the acceptance of your closest society around you: your family? You "know" deep, inside of you, that - no matter how you feel - "that" is not the "norm". You look for an acceptance, a "certificate" of normalcy for your way of life. We all do that, in a way or another. We all want to be "accepted" somehow. In our job sites, in some church, in a social group, in school, the family, etc... There is no need for that (the social acceptance, I mean, if your conciense is Ok and/or your belief in God agrees with that). It is a 'social' requirement, and - in your case (for good or bad) - that requirement means your family's aproval. Will you be less of a Lesbian if you don't break your mom's heart? What will happen to you if you keep it to yourself? I think that at the bottom of it all, is the "pride" thing. You are not going to be pleased until you feel pride of your decision. Is this all there is to conclude, and for this must you tell your mother, driving a spike trough her heart? You girlfriend should show you how to demonstrate emphaty (I would say if she really cared for you; even the evil one, when his son asks for a bread, won't give him a snake), which is the art of putting your self in your mother's shoes. How would YOU receive your daughter's news she wants to make a family with another woman? Tell us. Your mother did not tell you about the relationship with your dad? If it was good or bad or whatever. It is her bussiness; not anybody else's. Your life IS your businnes That's my opinion, only. Answered By: 120 - 12/8/2009

Additional Answers ()

Listen to ur friend Answered By: ~SuperHero~ - 12/8/2009

With words Answered By: Jacqueline Grant - 12/8/2009

"Mum, Dad... Meet my new girlfriend and my boyfriend" Answered By: ƒαηтαѕтι¢ ¢αт - 12/8/2009

Maybe see a psychiatrist and talk about it. i love psychiatrists. Answered By: Benjamin - 12/8/2009

Well what are your parents like? If they're, for example, strictly religious, you'll need to think very carefully about what to say. Perhaps have a friend with you? If they've shown themselves to be pretty easy going, they'll probably accept you anyway. Answered By: Strelitzian - 12/8/2009

Tell them you have something you want to tell them and then tell them that you are bi. Answered By: Jerry S - 12/8/2009

I think you should tell them. you should be proud of who you are! and thats what makes us all special Answered By: Wazz Good - 12/8/2009

Just tell them, theres nothing wrong with that. life is too short for hesitations Answered By: Manic&I - 12/8/2009

Jsut tell them with ur eyes closed Answered By: Kordell R - 12/8/2009

...Mom...Dad...there's something I've been...meaning to say to you... flash a huge smile I like the hot dogs and the fish. wait for response improvise from this point Answered By: Chicken - 12/8/2009

Just tell them - if you know it would make them feel better asure them you are in a relationship eg. a straight one, and say that you are more on the straight side? But it would be better to be honest - it depends what kind of person they are and how they would take the news Answered By: Will - 12/8/2009

Being bi is just in the mind, and by the way some people were raised, but really nobody is gay or bi what you should do is get help about it because you can't just say im not bi, Answered By: tony770 - 12/8/2009

My advice, as a lesbian with 1.5 feet out of the closet, tell some friends first. Your friends will most likely support you, if they are true friends, and then they can help you with coming out to your parents. Everyone is different and has different family dynamics, therefore everyone has different coming out processes. Your friends know you best, and they can help you to figure out the best way to tell your family that suits you. Hope that helps :) Answered By: sarah - 12/8/2009

Hahaha Chicken! (but wrong still) Answered By: Policeman Shaun - 12/8/2009

I personally know a lot of gay and bi ppl. There is a good percentage of young bisexual females that I know that end up in their late 20's or 30's leaving the bisexual lifestyle behind for a variety of reasons. This happens more with the young bisexual community than with the gay community. At 23 yrs old, I would pause and reconsider your thoughts on coming out as bisexual until you are sure that this is a lifestyle that you will be in for the rest of your life. Many family members and friends have trouble processing this kind of information. You dont know yet if you are deep in a phase or a permanent lifestyle. Spare yourself and your family. Live your life and give yourself time to determine if this is permanent or experimental. Once you are sure, maybe speak to your closest family member (an older sibling or a mom) in confidence to get ideas how to broach the subject with the rest of the family. Good luck and dont let your personal and private choices be a source of stress for you. Answered By: prov2717 - 12/8/2009

If you want to come out to people, make sure to research the topic of being LGBT and how you feel; that way, in case they ask questions, you can answer confidently and honestly. You might want to choose a time that's most convenient for them; if something big is going on in their life (a death, break-up, or are just stressed-out), then you wouldn't want to put any more weight on their shoulders. Also, you know them; try to see how they feel about LGBT people, and if they would accept their friends/family for being LGBT. You might also want someone close to be there to back you up in case anything goes wrong (maybe the person you've already come out to?). And try not to be blunt about; approach the topic carefully, maybe bringing up how great your latest relationship/crush is/was without mentioning gender, or talking about a LGBT issue such as gay marriage and how it may bother you. These things will make you coming out less surprising for them, they won't react as badly, and it will sound like you're serious about being bisexual. I hope this helps. :) Answered By: purduepup - 12/8/2009

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