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I think I'm on the verge of becoming mentally ill. & i really don't have one person to go ask for help.?

if anyone will be kind enough at 12:30 am eastern time, to read my story, it'll make me a little happier. I'm 20 years old. I work at Office Depot. & I do not go to school. Infact, I don't know where I'm going with life. I have some very controlling parents at home, who say that if I stay with them, I'll have to follow their rules. And if I choose to leave, they will basically bully me at my job. so, leaving their place, means finding a place and a job simultaneously. Which just takes a little time, but I'm sure, it's possible. I began school; the same thing- parents & curfews at 6 / 7 o'clock in the evening. Decided that I will try to join New England College in New Hampshire, a private university. That is "still in the process". In the hope of it, I decided I will not go to the community college that I was enrolled in. So, I basically dropped out. Prior to that, I purchased a brand new Corolla, with a $439 of bill per month. That includes the insurance. I only get $800 per month altogether. What's more painful is I never counted my money. I spent it all off! I went shopping to the outlet malls, and never kept a budget. I ran my gas, I paid my first month's bill. This is the 2nd month, and my bills are all unpaid b/c I don't have the money in the bank. I ran out. I have a job that I think I've taken for granted. I have a brand new car, which I just can't pay the bill for. I went shopping this morning and I just wanna return everything I bought. I don't have a college education! I don't know where I'm going with myself in the future. I don't wanna just pay for credit cards, and cars and loans all my life. Then not even get approved for school loans then not go to school and never have a college degree. I have made the worse choices with money. Money is not a school grade that you can recover. Then above everything, every guy I come across is a straight up jerk. It's either I don't look good enough, or there's just something wrong with my personality, or their just an outcast; they just don't belong with me. Men I met and thought I liked so much, turn their back on me, b/c they get the love from me so easily. Their so easily traced in my heart that they just don't want it. I've helped or at least tried to help people if I saw them in pain. But now when I need help, there is not one human being out there. My parents have excellent credits, rich savings. They will laugh if they hear that I need help. They will joke about it! I wish I could scream out loud and tell everyone that I need help! The least anyone could do is pat in my back and tell me that everything will be alright. I wish all this was a terrible dream that I could just wake up from and get it over with. But no it's actually happening! Before I come to think that this is the end of it all, I want someone to give me a chance. I wanna live normal. I mean yeah it's all my fault which is really why I don't have someone there. I admit it. But it's like I turned 18, got me a job. Just bought clothes with it. Then turned 19, started going to a "community college". Then got me a car. This is all like so sudden for me; n then a credit card! These are like great news for that moment, then a slap across the face after a while. I mean I just need all this over with. I can't believe I would be such an irresponsible person out in the real life. This isn't how I was raised. I don't know what to blame. In a world of limitless possibilities, and uncountable opportunities, I can't turn my situation around? There isn't one possibility or one opportunity to let that happen? that's all I'm wondering.

Asked By: Pain @ Heart - 12/15/2009
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I think it is time to bite the bullet and ask your family for help until you get yourself out of the hole. Is there anyway you could just give the car back and perhaps start over saving for a much more cheaper car that you buy outright? Forget about attracting the guys right now. What you need our good friends... More
Answered By: curiouscanadian - 12/15/2009
Additional Answers (11)
Talk to your parents and start crying. THEY WILL FEEL BAD! You aren't mentally ill trust me, you are just going through a rough patch in life. Go to community college or at least get a better job. If your parents do start laughing, hug your mom and start crying. Trust me, gets them every time. Momma doesn't want to see... More
Answered By: Lovestruck - 12/15/2009
 
Sit down with either your mom or dad and ask them if they want you to be successful and happy. They will say yes. Then ask them for help. You made some mistakes (buying the car, spending too much money), and you don't want to be a "broken person" anymore... More
Answered By: Tim T - 12/15/2009
 
Ok, so you acted like a spoiled, entitled child- join the crowd... Just learn from it, forgive yourself, stop indulging in self pity (I say that with love- hug, hug) and pick yourself up, make some plans and follow through. You don't need to have guys give you self esteem- that comes from inside you. There are good... More
Answered By: jammin7000 - 12/15/2009
 
You are going to have to grow up and see the world as an adult. Take the stuff back and start making responsible choices for yourself. You should cut the umbilicus from your parents and live your own life. Welcome to the real world kid. Nobody cares if you make it as an executive or wind up in a ditch with a needle... More
Answered By: jakeandpeppers - 12/15/2009
 
how can your parents bully u at your job is a complete mystery to me. and about money - 800 a month is like nothing. u won't be able to pay rent and buy food if u move out, so maybe u should shut the f'''k up, return all this junk u bought, change the car for a cheaper one and stop pretending u re paris hilton, cos u... More
Answered By: blast - 12/15/2009
 
Returning everything you can is actually a good idea and a start to get back on track..can you return enough to get you car payment ? or part of it ?..work more hrs at your job to catch up ?
Answered By: cool breeze - 12/15/2009
 
Yep, I read it. If you don't want advice, stop reading this now... More
Answered By: Just Some Guy - 12/15/2009
 
You need to talk to your parent, they do care about you. You should spend more time in library instead of shopping mall. My 17 years old daughter has part time job and in the school band, very busy, but she saved half money in her saving account. You have to build your saving habit day by day, or you will not happy in... More
Answered By: m&m - 12/15/2009
 
Yea! All the other suggestions and one more. Stop giving the kitty away every time the back is rubbed. I sympathize with you... More
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Answered By: Jen - 12/15/2009
 
First you have to learn how to prioritize. Start making a weekly budget and as time progresses you will learn to go on without having to budget, it will just come naturally. You are still young and have time to clean up your life and get on the right track. It seems as though you want to try and that is a plus... More
Answered By: Cori - 12/15/2009
 
If i were you I would go back to school. Its never too late and there are financial aid. get an apartment with a roommate. Life is hard as soon as you support yourself. Nothing in the world is free anymore. You wont be denied a school loan. The only way you will get denied is if you owe school grant money. I just filed... More
Answered By: Lorraine - 12/16/2009
 
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