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I think I'm on the verge of becoming mentally ill. & i really don't have one person to go ask for help.?

If anyone will be kind enough at 12:30 am eastern time, to read my story, it'll make me a little happier. I'm 20 years old. I work at Office Depot. & I do not go to school. Infact, I don't know where I'm going with life. I have some very controlling parents at home, who say that if I stay with them, I'll have to follow their rules. And if I choose to leave, they will basically bully me at my job. so, leaving their place, means finding a place and a job simultaneously. Which just takes a little time, but I'm sure, it's possible. I began school; the same thing- parents & curfews at 6 / 7 o'clock in the evening. Decided that I will try to join New England College in New Hampshire, a private university. That is "still in the process". In the hope of it, I decided I will not go to the community college that I was enrolled in. So, I basically dropped out. Prior to that, I purchased a brand new Corolla, with a $439 of bill per month. That includes the insurance. I only get $800 per month altogether. What's more painful is I never counted my money. I spent it all off! I went shopping to the outlet malls, and never kept a budget. I ran my gas, I paid my first month's bill. This is the 2nd month, and my bills are all unpaid b/c I don't have the money in the bank. I ran out. I have a job that I think I've taken for granted. I have a brand new car, which I just can't pay the bill for. I went shopping this morning and I just wanna return everything I bought. I don't have a college education! I don't know where I'm going with myself in the future. I don't wanna just pay for credit cards, and cars and loans all my life. Then not even get approved for school loans then not go to school and never have a college degree. I have made the worse choices with money. Money is not a school grade that you can recover. Then above everything, every guy I come across is a straight up jerk. It's either I don't look good enough, or there's just something wrong with my personality, or their just an outcast; they just don't belong with me. Men I met and thought I liked so much, turn their back on me, b/c they get the love from me so easily. Their so easily traced in my heart that they just don't want it. I've helped or at least tried to help people if I saw them in pain. But now when I need help, there is not one human being out there. My parents have excellent credits, rich savings. They will laugh if they hear that I need help. They will joke about it! I wish I could scream out loud and tell everyone that I need help! The least anyone could do is pat in my back and tell me that everything will be alright. I wish all this was a terrible dream that I could just wake up from and get it over with. But no it's actually happening! Before I come to think that this is the end of it all, I want someone to give me a chance. I wanna live normal.
I mean yeah it's all my fault which is really why I don't have someone there. I admit it. But it's like I turned 18, got me a job. Just bought clothes with it. Then turned 19, started going to a "community college". Then got me a car. This is all like so sudden for me; n then a credit card! These are like great news for that moment, then a slap across the face after a while. I mean I just need all this over with. I can't believe I would be such an irresponsible person out in the real life. This isn't how I was raised. I don't know what to blame. In a world of limitless possibilities, and uncountable opportunities, I can't turn my situation around? There isn't one possibility or one opportunity to let that happen? that's all I'm wondering.

Asked By: Pain @ Heart - 12/15/2009
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I think it is time to bite the bullet and ask your family for help until you get yourself out of the hole. Is there anyway you could just give the car back and perhaps start over saving for a much more cheaper car that you buy outright? Forget about attracting the guys right now. What you need our good friends around you. What about joining a singles group at church? You need to learn to love yourself before anyone else can. You have age on your side so don't give up.
Answered By: curiouscanadian - 12/15/2009
Additional Answers ()
Talk to your parents and start crying. THEY WILL FEEL BAD! You aren't mentally ill trust me, you are just going through a rough patch in life. Go to community college or at least get a better job. If your parents do start laughing, hug your mom and start crying. Trust me, gets them every time. Momma doesn't want to see her baby cry :)
Answered By: Lovestruck - 12/15/2009
Sit down with either your mom or dad and ask them if they want you to be successful and happy. They will say yes. Then ask them for help. You made some mistakes (buying the car, spending too much money), and you don't want to be a "broken person" anymore.

Learn to live within a budget. Learn to find joy without spending money. You can do both of these things!
Answered By: Tim T - 12/15/2009
Ok, so you acted like a spoiled, entitled child- join the crowd... Just learn from it, forgive yourself, stop indulging in self pity (I say that with love- hug, hug) and pick yourself up, make some plans and follow through. You don't need to have guys give you self esteem- that comes from inside you. There are good people out there, you just have to keep your eyes open for them. Give love freely, don't expect anything back- your life will be fulfilling if you do...

Read this book, it might help: "Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren
Answered By: jammin7000 - 12/15/2009
You are going to have to grow up and see the world as an adult. Take the stuff back and start making responsible choices for yourself. You should cut the umbilicus from your parents and live your own life. Welcome to the real world kid. Nobody cares if you make it as an executive or wind up in a ditch with a needle hanging out your arm. Its not Disney anymore, grow up.
Answered By: jakeandpeppers - 12/15/2009
How can your parents bully u at your job is a complete mystery to me. and about money - 800 a month is like nothing. u won't be able to pay rent and buy food if u move out, so maybe u should shut the f'''k up, return all this junk u bought, change the car for a cheaper one and stop pretending u re paris hilton, cos u re obviously not. u re full of excuses and u appear to be quite shallow and useless person, maybe that's why u have no one to talk to - nobody likes u.
Answered By: blast - 12/15/2009
Returning everything you can is actually a good idea and a start to get back on track..can you return enough to get you car payment ? or part of it ?..work more hrs at your job to catch up ?
Answered By: cool breeze - 12/15/2009
Yep, I read it. If you don't want advice, stop reading this now.

We're all young for a time, and your time is now. To have bought a new car (how the heck did you get that credit on $800 a month?) was a mistake. It's rather unfortunate that new cars depreciate so fast...you might try to find someone to assume the payments, or if there isn't a lot of mileage on it you could even try to return it. They might still want some money, but whatever it is it won't be so much and then you'll be out from under that. Or you just say the heck with it and go until they repo it. Which they will.

At 20 you don't need to be worried about stuff like that. Your parents probably just want you to live your own life and make your own mistakes. Nothing too wrong with that from where I sit, but from where you are it might not be too nice. Perhaps they see exactly what you're doing: car, shopping, etc., and they see the fall coming - and they want you to take that fall.

If you do take the fall, and if your habits do not change you certainly will, then there's a good life lesson right there. I would think that from that time forward you'd be better with money, if only because you don't want to be broke again. Seriously, the finance company will own you for years, and the bus isn't as bad as that. You have LOTS of time to get the stuff you want.

As for the job, it's much easier to get a new job while you have a job. Once you're unemployed, it makes you less desirable to a potential employer.

One last thing I'll say is that you *could* ask your parents for help. Don't ask them for the money - if you were my kid I wouldn't give it to you either - but ask them for their help in straightening out your affairs. You need to admit that you have been the architect of your own destruction and that you need them. Not for what they can give you, but for what they know.

As for dropping out of community college, you should not have done that. You should call them up and tell them your brother sent the letter (or whatever) as a cruel joke and you really don't want out.

Whatever happens, at 20 years of age none of this will be the end of the world. You've got loads of time to get re-established and by the time you want a house or a family it will all be worked out. So don't sweat it too much, because it isn't worth it. But if you can save the situation, so much the better.
Answered By: Just Some Guy - 12/15/2009
You need to talk to your parent, they do care about you. You should spend more time in library instead of shopping mall. My 17 years old daughter has part time job and in the school band, very busy, but she saved half money in her saving account. You have to build your saving habit day by day, or you will not happy in the future. I have some friends filed the divorce case because of money issue only, ending with paying lawyer a lot of money!
Answered By: m&m - 12/15/2009
Yea! All the other suggestions and one more. Stop giving the kitty away every time the back is rubbed. I sympathize with you.
--My hubby had a wreck and has not worked in two months. The economy sucks and money is scarce. We are two months behind on all the bills with zero in our pocket. The landlord has been patient but is getting to the end of the rope. He(the hubby) is suppose to go back to work friday and I hope he does.
--We were just starting to get above water(one nostril and a little air) from being wiped out(totally) during Hurricane Rita.
--My daughter ran my car into high water and drowned the engine. The Volvo(an old one) broke down and we are borrowing a vehicle and live 23 miles from the nearest town.
--Life is like that. You can save and have a little money and then ---boom! and now you are broke. You can also blow it like crazy and be broke. The bottom line is that we either figure out a way to beat the bad things back and continue or give up. Well the last one is not an option. He is in his 50's and I am working on it.
--You are young, the kitty won't wear out(trust me) as long as you don't catch something soap and water won't wash off, and as long as you have health you stand a chance of rebounding.
--If you go to your parents and they laugh you have not lost anything right. If you don't go to your parents you will never know.
--All the other stuff is just plain life. You deal with it or not. I hope you choose the first and not the last.
--If you are fairly good looking I will trade places with you as long as the hubby gets to join. We still have each other so far. I do hope you get a good education.
Print the stuff you receive and your question and put it up for later. You will find that things can go South but usually turn around.
--Forget about the credit cards and stop blowing money unless you truely like the position you are in.
Source(s):
Been there --done that--didn't get the tee shirt.
Answered By: Jen - 12/15/2009
First you have to learn how to prioritize. Start making a weekly budget and as time progresses you will learn to go on without having to budget, it will just come naturally. You are still young and have time to clean up your life and get on the right track. It seems as though you want to try and that is a plus. Everything will be okay if you just calm down and stop downing yourself. Be optimistic and start taking steps toward a better life. Enroll back in school and major in something you like, join support groups, and pray. Ever thing will be okay do not give up just stop making excuses and change you life. I wish you The best hun!
Answered By: Cori - 12/15/2009
If i were you I would go back to school. Its never too late and there are financial aid. get an apartment with a roommate. Life is hard as soon as you support yourself. Nothing in the world is free anymore. You wont be denied a school loan. The only way you will get denied is if you owe school grant money. I just filed for banckruptcy and got approved still. Try to refinance your car if possible.If not, call your resource for where you bought your car and ask them if you have gap insurance. If you do read the terms and conditions. Some gap insurance will pay for the deficiency balance of a car after it has been repossed, but gotta do it fast because they give you a time limit. Once your in the ok and your gap insurance covers that, stop paying on your car and let them reposses it. $439 a month is too much. That could be going towards an apartment you could be living in right now, or yet extra money in your pocket. Save some money. start taking the bus for a while until you have enough to buy a used car. Its better than being in debt. Trust me i was in your position once. You can saved $2000 for a down payment towards a $6000 car. Anything made after the year 2000 is very reliable. Next cut all your credit cards. No more spending and try to pay it off. Dont let it be too late to the point that you need to file for banckruptcy. Thats not always a bad thing either. its a fresh start and your young. You can always build credit. Cut out eating out or going out too much. It cost way too much money.Spend money on necesities not wants. Just follow that simple rule and you will be alright. Take advantage of living with your parents to save money. They are like that because they are your parents. to them your just their kid. Calculate how much you make a month minus the bills from it. Put away the remaining money and use it for emergency, Its important to know how much money you have coming in so you can control your spending habbits. Make a budget. Dont be afraid to return the items you bought. Then go home and clean out your closet. Sell what you can on craigslist or something. You will be surprised at what people will buy and how much you will make. good luck!
Answered By: Lorraine - 12/15/2009
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