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Please read this and give me your opinion!?

Please read below and give me your opinion. Now this piece is Charles Bukowski inspired, and anyone who knows his writing knows that for beat poetry there is no real stanzas, syllable count doesn't have to exist, etc. Most rules are thrown out the window, so with exception to standard poetry rules, please give me your opinion. Thank you :) The room was barely lit. It reeked of cigarettes, pain and regret. I thought I found myself that night; Within a bottle of Captains and a few new friends. I don't remember their names, I can't remember their faces, I won't remember their faces, "Pour me another captain." You think I've had too much? I don't think I'll ever have enough. It's hard to drown amphibious regrets, I was barely lit. I reeked of cigarettes, disdain and regret. I'll stumble home tonight, A taxi will only deliver me to my tomb with more celerity. I'll stumble home tonight, I'll try to find myself, Illuminated in the streetlights.

Asked By: chris h - 3/19/2010
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I'm not familiar with this style so I can't really comment well, but except for the fourth line it flows really well. Good job.
Answered By: Devas - 3/19/2010
Additional Answers (5)
Nice :) The style is basically a rebeled type of free-verse, lol i like it, nice
Source(s):
Answered By: skinnymini is me and me is happy - 3/19/2010
 
Those unfamiliar with this style might not be able to appreciate it fully: But the words take on alike of their own and they flow in a dance on the paper (not many can do that with this style) It gives you a sort of gloomy/film noir/smokey/lonely/nightime feel i love the last lines
Answered By: Gabby - 3/19/2010
 
I like it a lot
Answered By: Jazzmatic - 3/19/2010
 
It great!
Source(s):
Answered By: My name is... and say your name! - 3/19/2010
 
wow this is amazing. you need to submit this to a contest or something. it's publishable... More
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Answered By: Shelby - 3/19/2010
 
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