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Which parent should raise the child in case of divorce?

I posted this question yesterday. I'm reposting it in hopes of getting more answers. Let me explain the situation: My gf and I are both single parents. She had her oldest 2 kids taken away from her by their father when they were young. She let them stay with their dad while she was going to school for nursing and he used that as ammunition to take primary custody. Now that her boys are older the teenager has moved back in with her. I am a single father because my marriage ended shortly after our child was born. My ex wife tried to keep my son from me; so I fought for and gained primary custody of my son (although only 51%). My gf and I was talking last night because my best friend is going through a custody issue. He has 43% custody of his child. The mother (who he put through school while they were married) wants to move to Northern California (6-8 hour drive) to get a Ph.D. which is a 6 year degree. She plans to move in with her boyfriend during this time, who also attends the same school. My friend will lose a significant amount of visitation and most likely will have his child support modified accordingly. He wants to fight for primary custody if his ex wants to move. His reasons are that his son has an existing social and support structure (both grand parents live out here). The mother will have no support structure, job, or place to stay (she will be a full time student living with her boyfriend). He also feels that there are comparable Ph.D. programs locally. They both live near UC Irvine. There is USC, UCLA, Pepperdine, LMU...etc. There are dozens of notable colleges in Southern California. The debate between my gf and I is that she feels that my friend is being controlling by preventing his ex from living her life and persuing her education where she wants to with her man. My feeling is that a father has a right to his child, and his ex is not thinking of her son by making the decision to move them away from the father when she can get the same (or better) education locally. And that this would be a different conversation if she was taking a job up there. I plan on sending this link to both my gf and my bestfriend...so please feel free to comment on all aspects of the question.

Asked By: . - 5/14/2010
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Interesting point of view. She had her children taken away from her while you won custody. Didn't he also win custody based on the fact he had primary possession? Or, didn't you take your children away from their mother? You are presenting a double standard in the same statement... More
Answered By: George McCasland - 5/16/2010
Additional Answers (3)
in this type of situation, the mother should not be selfish & allow the father to have primary... More
Answered By: mom - 5/14/2010
 
The father should take primary custody and the mother should have visitation, and here's why... More
Answered By: Their mommy! - 5/14/2010
 
Both... More
Answered By: sheloves_dablues - 5/14/2010
 
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