Will somebody take a look at my covering letter I am sending to a few kennels and catteries local to me?

	Will somebody take a look at my covering letter I am sending to a few kennels and catteries local to me? I am applying for jobs. What do you think? Would you employ me if this was your first impression of me? I welcome any constructive criticism. *** Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing in the hope that you will consider me for any current or future paid positions within your company that you may have. If you take a look at my CV (included), you will see that I have extensive experience working with animals in a variety of roles ranging from voluntary shelter work to dog-sitting. I have worked with cats, dogs and wildlife and have been trusted to care for infant, ill or otherwise vulnerable animals, often within my own home. I have loved animals since I was a child and my affinity with them has only increased in these roles. I look forward to any future job offers where I could develop my skills and increase my experience. The majority of my work experience has been voluntary. I have found myself in a position where I could manage financially without paid work so have spent my time volunteering to increase my confidence, my ability to work under pressure and my interpersonal skills. I realise I am very lucky to have been able to focus on voluntary work so much and understand I may never have this chance again. I have therefore grasped every opportunity that has come my way. I have recently attended (university name) where I studied Creative Writing. Unfortunately, due to ill-health, I was unable to complete the final year of my degree. Due to my continued hard work and excellent results throughout the rest of my time at university, I have been awarded a Fall-back degree. My health has now improved considerably enabling me to work and the university has welcomed me back at a later date to complete my final year. My animal-related aspirations include showing Staffordshire Bull Terriers in conformation shows and competing in agility and obedience. My ultimate aim would be to breed this noble dog reputably to the Kennel Club breed standard and with genetic health testing to produce well-bred, healthy dogs. My short-term aspirations include therapy dog work with my current dog, a Staffordshire Bull Terrier cross. Many thanks for your time and consideration, My name *** Obviously I would include addresses etc at the top. Please be nice. I'm already nervous enough. :S 4am here. I'm pepped up on coffee. :/ Asked By: Sir Hoochalot - 5/28/2010

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This is a nice start but it needs to be shorter. Companies looking for employees sometimes do not have time to read a lot nor do they want to. You need to make this 'pop'. I would take anything out that has to do with and illness and/or not completing collage. This must be very positive as to your skill set. You do not want to give a future employer any reason to doubt your abilities or yourself. Mentioning an illness or not completing college will get you dumped before you even get in. When an employer sees 'illness' they read excessive absenteeism. When they see 'did not complete a degree' they see a person who quits when the going gets tough. They do not see the potential employee who has overcome an illness or a person who plans to complete coursework. Take out the CV included part. The CV is included. The employer can see this so you don't need to mention it. At the end you can put a statement such as, 'If you have any questions concerning my CV or need references please contact me using the above information'. Take out any information about your financial ability. You do not want to give an employer any information regarding your need or lack of need for a paid position. The volunteer part can stay. In fact you can take that whole paragraph out as the first paragraph outlines your skills very nicely. Putting some computer and people skills will help tons. Many animal people forget that part of their job involves working with the public and with technology. I'm not sure if I would mention my own animal aspirations in regards to showing/breeding my own animals. Some professional show handlers/breeders might see this as a way for a person who is in it for their own means and not the company's. Mentioning Staffy bulls can get you booted out the door before you start because of their 'reputation'. Make sure that you personalize this letter towards every company. Find out the person's name that maybe reading this and address them personally. Also find out something about the business. Try to include a small paragraph as to why you think that working for their company would a win-win situation. This is another place to detail some of your skill set. Plus it's a great way to tell the company that you are interested in them enough to do a bit of research instead of just 'cold calling'. You can mention where you found the information, so the company knows that their advertising is working. For example, "I see from your website that you offer boarding along with doggy daycare". Finally, place at the bottom that you are looking forward to meeting them at an interview. After all, you are going to be called for an interview. Your CV and cover letter are written in such a way that you truly could not be turned down for at least a face to face introduction. After all you are the dynamic person who can and will give your all to make their business successful. Good luck with your job hunt. Answered By: Lacey UD, RE - 5/30/2010

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I would avoid telling prospective employers that you where so sick you couldn't complete school. Ask yourself would I hire this person? The answer is No, Employers want Assets not Liabilities. Put aside the rosey colored glasses and think about what the owner of a company would be thinking. Do you believe that he is looking to hire you to make your life better? No No No, He is looking for the best employee he can get. You know why, because the success of his company depends on it. The opening statement is wishy washy at best, you know the kind of companies that you are sending your resume to, you know what kind of jobs they have. BE SPECIFIC. I am writing to you because I want a job working with animals, I know you have positions available working with animals and I want to work for you. I have considerable amount of experience working with animal, including walking, siting and volunteer work in shelters. Something like that, Let them know quickly and concisely that you are the best choice they got. Answered By: Michael - 5/30/2010

LOL...poor thing. I hate resumes...Had to help a friend out some time ago and write this crap! Constructive criticism: (Just my opinion...btw). I think it looks good I am writing in the hope that you will consider me for any current or future paid positions within your company that you may have. (I'd leave out the "that you may have". Seems like you are repeating the same thing twice). That's all I got so far! You've go to post this in the morning...Its 11pm here...lol...I'm barely functioning...Hopefully people will be more awake tomorrow ;) Answered By: Bells : - 5/28/2010

Very well written! First impression: Intelligent, articulate, knowledgeable, but looking to develop skills and experience, is setting goals, and most important, loves animals! Include references from the experience listed above, and letters of recommendation, also! Much Luck and success to follow! Source(s): ADD: Yes...Bells is right! Answered By: Angel Wolf 13 - 5/28/2010

Good luck with your job search, I hope you find something you will enjoy. A few suggestions: 1st paragraph: Instead of "offers", use "positions" or similar. You don't develop skills because you get an offer- you develop them through the work. Missing a comma after "ill" 2nd paragraph: first sentence: Instead of "voluntary" (which means you didn't have to), say "acquired through volunteer work". Missing a comma after "pressure". Third sentence: word "voluntary" should be "volunteer". 3rd paragraph: Don't mention ill-health, just say you have completed however many years of college and will complete your degree in the future. You don't want potential employers thinking you have a serious issue that's going to recur and leave them minus an employee. Otherwise, that looks like a great cover letter! Answered By: oregano13 - 5/28/2010

Oh dear - I hate job hunting. It's so depressing. Too long, too much explaination. Never say "due to ill health" - why would someone choose a person with health issues over another candidate? You can be frank in the interview if appropriate but the goal is to GET an interview. Especially as Creative Writing is not obviously applicable to animal fields. I fully understand as I have medical problems yet my manager still rates me higher than many people that don't have medical issues, but it's getting in the door so you can show your abilities. Nor do they need to know if your experience is voluntary or paid - you need to sell your skills. You also need to be more specific what type of position you are interested in - employers look for key words now. What exactly do you want to do for them ? Always keep in mind - what can I offer the employer? What sets me apart? I know that job hunting is HARD especially in this market. Good luck. Answered By: Dog owner - 5/28/2010

It's a good letter, and I know it's no fun writing these! So please take my criticisms as intended to help, not as negatives. If I received this letter, I would not see any achievements that leap off the page. They are probably in the CV, but it's good to pick out one or two things you are proud of having done (and that are in some way relevant to the potential employer) and mention them in the letter. Something like "While volunteering at xxx shelter I was able to support their adoption process by training/writing histories for potential adopters/bathing the animals to make them look more attractive/taking on the 'dirty' jobs and keeping cages and runs clean at all times. They were so impressed with my dedication/contribution/work ethic that Person A has written a testimonial for me." Or you may be able to summarize a case where your care of a vulnerable animal made that animal an adoption success. The reference to your health can be a red flag. I would not be able to help wondering if your health issues would make you unreliable and cause frequent absences. Do you need to discuss the reason for the degree being incomplete? You could just say "unable to complete due to personal reasons" and leave it at that. It's a Creative Writing degree, so it's not particularly relevant to most jobs you are likely to be considered for. Overall, there's a lot about you, and the person reading it wants to know what you will will do for THEM. So think about the things they may be looking for. (Hard work, experience with caring for sick animals, knowledge about different types and breeds of animals, ability to deal with the public, etc.) Hope this is some help, good luck! Get some sleep. Answered By: Eureka! - 5/28/2010

Congrats on moving toward what you want. The things I would suggest on the letter: It is too long. It indicates your skills.for the jobs you are seeking. You are using a scattergun approach--whatever you have. That is too nebulous, find out what positions they have and craft your CV toward those w/ your skill set. Do not tell anything about your illness. That can raise red flags. Address any gaps of non-work to some degree Not sure would elaborate on being able to be off work and then now back to work in the way you wrote it. May need to tweak it a bit. Do list your interests and skills A lot of the info can be discussed at the interview. Below are sites to make more suggestions. Source(s): internationalgraduate.com cvtips.com hubpages.com/hub/CV_layout_hints_and_tips Answered By: E - 5/28/2010

Its very well written from what i can see and i think what the others have said changing the way things are worded is a good Idea but you need the Wow factor in your CV,basically they need to look at your CV and be blown away by it .Reading that as it is i would put it on file ,for the future with a few changes it would be great ,i have employed many people based on that wow factor on there CV Here's a few Ideas What are you like with people can you work as a team this part is very important?What do you have to offer them that no one else has to offer them not just your experience but whats the one thing you could do that no one else could do and there will be something . I think the bit about managing financially needs changing that will get them thinking how you manage they don't need to know that,word it so its not saying that I think with a few changes it would be great Answered By: BYBs kill dogs and puppies - 5/28/2010

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