Will somebody take a look at my covering letter I am sending to a few kennels and catteries local to me?

I am applying for jobs. What do you think? Would you employ me if this was your first impression of me? I welcome any constructive criticism. ***** Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing in the hope that you will consider me for any current or future paid positions within your company that you may have. If you take a look at my CV (included), you will see that I have extensive experience working with animals in a variety of roles ranging from voluntary shelter work to dog-sitting. I have worked with cats, dogs and wildlife and have been trusted to care for infant, ill or otherwise vulnerable animals, often within my own home. I have loved animals since I was a child and my affinity with them has only increased in these roles. I look forward to any future job offers where I could develop my skills and increase my experience. The majority of my work experience has been voluntary. I have found myself in a position where I could manage financially without paid work so have spent my time volunteering to increase my confidence, my ability to work under pressure and my interpersonal skills. I realise I am very lucky to have been able to focus on voluntary work so much and understand I may never have this chance again. I have therefore grasped every opportunity that has come my way. I have recently attended (university name) where I studied Creative Writing. Unfortunately, due to ill-health, I was unable to complete the final year of my degree. Due to my continued hard work and excellent results throughout the rest of my time at university, I have been awarded a Fall-back degree. My health has now improved considerably enabling me to work and the university has welcomed me back at a later date to complete my final year. My animal-related aspirations include showing Staffordshire Bull Terriers in conformation shows and competing in agility and obedience. My ultimate aim would be to breed this noble dog reputably to the Kennel Club breed standard and with genetic health testing to produce well-bred, healthy dogs. My short-term aspirations include therapy dog work with my current dog, a Staffordshire Bull Terrier cross. Many thanks for your time and consideration, My name ***** Obviously I would include addresses etc at the top. Please be nice. I'm already nervous enough. :S 4am here. I'm pepped up on coffee. :/

Asked By: Sir Hoochalot - 5/28/2010
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
This is a nice start but it needs to be shorter. Companies looking for employees sometimes do not have time to read a lot nor do they want to. You need to make this 'pop... More
Answered By: Single Worker 1230 - 5/30/2010
Additional Answers (8)
LOL...poor thing. I hate resumes...Had to help a friend out some time ago and write this crap... More
Answered By: Bells : - 5/28/2010
Very well written! First impression: Intelligent, articulate, knowledgeable, but looking to develop skills and experience, is setting goals, and most important, loves animals! Include references from the experience listed above, and letters of recommendation, also! Much Luck and success to follow!
Answered By: Angel Wolf 13 - 5/28/2010
Good luck with your job search, I hope you find something you will enjoy. A few suggestions... More
Answered By: oregano13 - 5/28/2010
Oh dear - I hate job hunting. It's so depressing... More
Answered By: Dog owner - 5/28/2010
It's a good letter, and I know it's no fun writing these! So please take my criticisms as intended to help, not as negatives... More
Answered By: Eureka! - 5/28/2010
Congrats on moving toward what you want... More
Answered By: E - 5/28/2010
Its very well written from what i can see and i think what the others have said changing the way things are worded is a good Idea but you need the Wow factor in your CV,basically they need to look at your CV and be blown away by it .Reading that as it is i would put it on file ,for the future with a few changes it... More
Answered By: BYBs kill dogs and puppies - 5/29/2010
I would avoid telling prospective employers that you where so sick you couldn't complete school. Ask yourself would I hire this person? The answer is No, Employers want Assets not Liabilities... More
Answered By: Michael - 5/30/2010
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