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literally going it alone right now and for a while , how do you not get depressed?

32 years old , encountered adversity , misfortunes and made a lot of mistakes virtually all my adult life. as a result of all that i missed out on an average normal life of building relationships , being employed , getting qualifications and a lot of other happenings. i had complex psychological disorders to contend with, personality disorders . anger problems , social problems and anxiety problems - i have a long psychiatric history , a criminal and violent history. i was brought up in a loving, over protective family but difficulties at school caused me to go off the rails and develop psychological problems. ive battled on through my adversities , but as a result , today i exist as a lonely 32 year old guy that has never built up 'any ' social relationships. - live in a small 1 bedroomed property on welfare sick benefits. my father divourced my mother 18 years ago , i talk from time to time but was never close to my father , im close to my mum who is in her late 50s , with my disorders we argue off and on from time to time .....she has tried to support and be there for me....but right now we have fallen out.............she gets tired and exasperated with my stresses. i know she is getting older and cant do much for me now except be at the other end of a phone. when she passes and i truly hope its not for a while , i will be truly going it alone , with only the mental health services there for me. im very reserved , reclusive and aloof and she tells me i have to start trusting people , because ive developed in to a very mistrusting person.. i have sisters but they have all moved away and we were only close as children , they never encountered ANY of my problems , have had successful lives and gone their own way. people in my local community can be stand offish , dismissive and abrupt with me , ive felt alienated all my life , i think my unsocial anger problems burnt a lot of bridges between me and society.. i do get very lonely and empty and long to build at least ' some ' relationships, but how , i dont know. the only things that keep me going are my remote goals of buying a quiet home near a quiet seaside , coastal village past Cornwall, or jersey or even the isle of man - but with no record of anything , i dont know how ill achieve those hopes.

Asked By: euro knight mystery zealot and the raveɳ - 7/1/2010
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Ouch...have you ever thought of a life coach? Maybe you should just try to meet a girl, and get a job (if you don't have one). Relationships are formed with trust. Try trusting someone. Go visit your sister. What do you mean by 'no record of anything'? Because if you mean like your social security card and your birth... More
Answered By: The Girl Saiyan/LemonSparklesXD - 7/1/2010
Additional Answers (3)
Mate, you're not alone in finding yourself in such a position and the good thing is, if you like, you have come to this crossroad in your life. You have choices - everyone does. You can choose to hide away from life or you can choose to face it. You describe a lot of problems that I and many other men have experienced... More
Answered By: openheartursery - 7/1/2010
 
"You get as much out of life as you put into it... More
Answered By: RWPossum - 7/1/2010
 
How can you not get depressed but if you don't go on alone then all that is left is death, so you hitch up your pants and go on! I am 68 and I have learned over the years is you make a life what God gives you. No one can help you live your life but you, oh they can tell how they do it but in the end you have to do it!
Answered By: Coop 366 - 7/1/2010
 
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