Court ordered visitation not being followed (VERY LONG)?
Very sorry for such a long story!!! I live in California and my husband has 2 boys, 8 & 9. About 4 or 5 years ago they went to court and he was granted visitation every other weekend and every Tuesday and Thursday. That went okay for about.. oh... 3 months. One day we went to pick them up for the weekend and the house was empty, he called her and it just went to voicemail. He called the police and seriously did nothing, they said she had primary custody and didn't have to tell him when she moves. He couldn't get off work to go back to court (brand new job) to enforce the order. About 6 months later we moved to another county and we were informed she had moved out of state but that person was unsure to which state. He was finally able to get a day off and he went to court, filled out the papers and was granted a court date in THREE MONTHS!! So the three months go by and the judge tells my husband his case has been closed, there's nothing she could do, especially not knowing where the kids had been taken. He left the court room and started filling out the papers to start a whole new case including kidnapping. The clerk suggested that we talk to the moderator to help fill out the paperwork correctly. The next morning we went back to the court and spoke with the moderator and he said he couldn't help him fill them out and we had to file the new paperwork in the county we live in now. So a few weeks later, when my husband was able to get another day off, he went down to the court in the county we moved to and filled out the paperwork and paid all the fees and was granted yet another court date, this time SIX MONTHS away! So, after six months he goes to court and the judge tells him that she sees an open case in or OLD county. He informed her that they told him it was closed and to open a new case. She said there was nothing she could do until the other case was closed. The same day, we drove to the other court and told them what the OTHER court said. The clerk (different one from last time) told him the old case was still open and he just needed to file one paper to see the judge to get the orders enforced. So he files THAT paper and is granted an ex-parte hearing in three days. BUT he has to inform the mom of the hearing. We still haven't heard from her in over a year! I come home and search the internet like crazy to see if there's a way to get her number, finally I find a website that says they have her current address and phone number but it's going to cost me $150.00. I pay it, because we need the info. She had moved to Arkansas! The phone number was wrong, but luckily she had the new number listed in the city where she lives' phone book. He called her to inform her of the hearing. 3 days later, he's in court, the judge granted her to appear by phone. The judge said since the kids aren't in danger, that the ex-parte was denied and to come back for a regular hearing, the closest hearing date was SEVEN MONTHS from then! During those 7 months, my husband tried calling his kids but she wouldn't answer. 7 months go by, and longest story known to man made semi-short, he's awarded visitation half of EVERY summer, EVERY spring break in it's entirety, half of Thanksgiving break and half of Christmas break. And she has to pay for ALL travel expenses and has to appear IN court next time they go back (because she has 2 arrest warrants). They boys came for spring break, then about 2 weeks before they came out for summer, the mom called me and told me the youngest was in the hospital with diabetes and probably won't be able to come out. My husband called his sons dr. and the dr said he would be fine to fly and told us what we needed to know about his newly acquired diabetes. The boys came out as planned and we had his diabetes completely under control. The whole time the boys were here, they kept asking how old they had to be to choose who they want to live with and when they get to come back. We kept telling them they can't choose, the judge does and They get to come back for half of Thanksgiving. They said their mom's new husband hits them with a paddle and their not allowed to play outside at all, but the new husbands kids are allowed to do whatever they want (there are 9 kids, plus the 2 "parents" in the 3 bedroom house). Since they have been back with their mom, I call very often to check on them and see how the diabetes are going and she tells me she can't seem to get his blood sugar to stay normal. When my husband talks to the boys, they tell him their mom said she's not sending them for Thanksgiving. Questions: Should my husband go back to court NOW, since we know she's not planning on sending them or does he have to wait until after she DOESN'T send them? I'm worried about the long wait time for a hearing... if she knows about the hearing before Christmas, she may choose not to send them then as well out of spite How can we make sure the youngest's diabetes are being controlled correctly while they're away from us? How can we make sure the new husband doesn't hit the kids? The boys don't have a break in school for 4 1/2 months (July - Nov.), which means we can't see them, are there any options to go around this? I apologize for it being hard to read, but when I tried to put in paragraphs, half of the story was erased. So I was forced to save the room. Apparently there's a character limit. :0)
Asked By: Cortnie - 8/1/2010
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Look into this and see if it applies to your case. It is called parental alienation syndrome. http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/pas/faq.htm... More
Answered By: Navy Wife 2004 - 8/1/2010
Additional Answers (2)
Please break this up with a couple of paragraphs. That will make it easy to read and may encourage people to do so. Right now it is almost impossible to read to the end because of the lack of paragraphs, which is a shame because it seems well written otherwise.
Answered By: Comicbook Reader - 8/1/2010
My heart goes out to you. It is pitiful that the mother is so ignorant of proper methods of raising healthy children. Her new husband must be equally ignorant & controlling. The only good thing to look forward to will be when the boys are 11 or 12 the judge has to take into account the boys' choice of who to live with... More
Answered By: Pickleheaded Possum - 8/1/2010
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