I don't know what to do with my life?

I have hit a wall. I am 33 years old and on Monday, I start a postgraduate certification program for a career I have zero interest in. I have a B.A. in English and worked as an executive assistant for years, a career I loathed, and after losing several jobs (most often due to drinking because of how depressed I was over my career choice), I could only get temporary administrative work. I am entering a paralegal certification program upon the advice of my one friend, a criminal defense attorney. I could really care less about the law...I just want a steady, well-paying job with some veneer of respectability. I have never had many friends and in the past three years, have barely socialized due to financial and career problems. During this time, I began drinking heavily (a fifth a day, maybe 6 days a week...though I have not drank for 2.5 days, my last day I drank a fifth of rum, one 40 each of Steel Reserve (8.1% malt liquor) and Budweiser, and one 24 oz. each of Bud and Mike's Hard. It made me pass out but did not made me at all sick. I'm supposed to be on the eve of a "new change" in my life, but I am panicking because it's not what I want and what I do want is simply impossible (to be a writer or musician). Actually, the best answer I could come up with for myself was to do the damned program simply because I'm barely employable otherwise and the job I could get from it could fund future endeavours (ex. music lessons). I admit, I'm pretty tempted to drink tonight, simply because when I get down, my first impulse is to drag myself as far down as I can. Daf - How do you know I'm smart? Because I'm in college?

Asked By: Dolkite - 8/20/2010
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Excessive drinking of alcohol and bumming around O.O That's bad mahn... More
Answered By: RED1993 - 8/20/2010
Additional Answers (1)
You have to follow your dreams man! Do what you truly want to do... More
Answered By: Dafnoosh - 8/20/2010
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