Is this a good indicator that my boyfriend doesn't love me?
Okay, I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible... we have been friends for about six years. we've been dating for a year and a half. i'm in college full-time and work part-time. he does non of the above. i'm 20. he's 21. he won't go to school because he doesn't have a car. he doesn't have a car because he can't get a job. yeah, he spends some of his time filling out applications, but minimal amounts, i'm sure. he's lazy and unmotivated. i'm graduating college in 2 years with 2 bachelor's degrees... i expect to have a boyfriend who WANTS to provide for me. not have me provide for him. is his lack of motivation and extreme laziness a good indication that my boyfriend doesn't care enough about me to get up off his ass and get to work? i use my parent's car, i do not have a car of my own seeing as how i make minimum wage at my job and i really have to pay for more important things (gas, food, clothing, my credit card bill, etc) he lives about a 25 minutes away from me ... so i drive about an hour (there and back) to see him. he really never makes an effort to get a ride here. for example if his stepdad said he can't give him a ride because there's no gas, he doesn't offer him five or ten dollars, he just accepts it and expects me to pick him up. we can't go anywhere (dinner, movies, parties) unless i pay. tell me what you think ... i have big goals for my life and i don't want someone who doesn't love me to tie me down. now there is one major plus side: he's extremely nice. he is very respectful and very much a gentleman. this is his one redeeming quality that i am head over heels in love with. help. of course it's not about money. but how can money not be an issue? it's a little stressful (to say the least) to put the burden of me paying for EVERY single thing. Call me old-fashioned but I believe the guy is supposed to pay for at LEAST half of everything.
Asked By: snip - 10/11/2010
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
He isn't a "gentleman" if he can't see that you're doing all the work. I think you've come to a point where you realize what you want in life. That's good. I think you should just drop this relationship altogether. I read it in the first paragraph that you are fed up with him. If he's this unmotivated to do... More
Answered By: Amz - 10/11/2010
Additional Answers (8)
So what I'm getting at is you're starting to doubt your relationship because of money? Because it almost seems as if you only like him for his money. That's selfish.
Answered By: Dajn - 10/11/2010
I don't see how his lack of motivation should make you feel like he doesn't love you. It's a whole separate issue. What it does indicate is that he's not ready to settle down or start thinking seriously about the future. If you want more from a guy, then you should break up with him and move on. Your boyfriend is... More
Answered By: Ashera - 10/11/2010
does not sound like a promising relationship You can do better
Answered By: sightseer - 10/11/2010
i think u should tell him i cant take this anymore u don't do anything for me i know u love me but this is to much u just need to find yourself and tthat'swhen u can come back im sorry i have to go
Answered By: Cassandra Inta - 10/11/2010
I was in a situation very similar to yours and ended up being in debt quite a bit because of a boyfriend who would spend minimal amounts of time applying for jobs while I was working 2 jobs. Honestly it was a huge stress to our relationship. There are men that will get a bike, walk, or take a bus to work because they... More
Answered By: Cambria A - 10/11/2010
you need to ditch this douche bag. gentlemen pay their way and this guy is going nowhere without a wake up call.
Answered By: Ruthietealover - 10/11/2010
how do we know ? if you loved somebody as you say you would except his lack of motivation but if you really feel hes holding you back tell him or leave him
Answered By: Ian - 10/11/2010
Honestly, it sounds like he is a lazy p.o.s. if you ask me. If he has no career goals, no money, no car, and isn't even going to school, then it sounds like he isn't going anywhere in life. If you are graduating with two bachelor's degrees (way to go by the way!!), then eventually tension is going to build, and you... More
Answered By: alohagirl612 - 10/11/2010
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