Very Long, Complicated Question, Some Help Defusing It Please?
I'm a 22-year-old Egyptian who very recently moved to Canada. I've 'known' a girl from Israel on-line for about two and a half years. She's 16. We've been in an 'on-line relationship' for almost five months now. We're both really deeply in love and we've talked about marriage in four or eight years and trying a life together in Tel Aviv or her father's native Tuscany or in Canada or the US. I am learning Ivrit (Hebrew) and studying Judaism in case I might have to try to immigrate to Israel in order for us to be together. The problem is that meeting in 'real life' is very important to my 'girlfriend'. Going to Israel is a big undertaking for me. Finding the money, the visa, booking the flight, lying about my absence to my very conservative Muslim parents. I have no life experience. I have never traveled alone before. Everything was always arranged for me by my parents. Right now I'm going to look for work, and the prospects seem fair. I'm 'supposed' to meet her in the spring of 2011, in March or April. I originally told her I could be there in September 2010. I overestimated myself. She understands and doesn't really blame me, but she is getting very very lonely, and weary of our medium. It doesn't help that my 'girlfriend' used to be (in her opinion) plain-faced and fat (she's 5' 1" and was never over 128 lbs) and high school was hard for her. In the last three months she's gone on a 500 calorie a day diet, lost 27 lbs, and discovered makeup and tight dresses. She's pretty as a picture now. All of a sudden everyone wants to date her. She got asked out five times in the last couple of weeks and she said no every time because of me. But yesterday she told me she wants to date until I visit Israel and we had a big fight. I'm not dating, but maybe it's different for me because it's a lot harder for a guy to get dates than a girl. I know she's really in love with me because she stays with me despite the distance, despite that I'm not the wisest choice for her future (being an 'Arab'), and despite my constant jealousy and anger. We've 'broken up' three times in the last six weeks because she wanted to date and because of my behaviour. She's called me a dirty Arab and broken up with me all those three times, and I've called her a b*tch and a whore and told her to get gassed, and forwarded some of our e-mails to a guy friend she said she liked. (I was hysterical.) But we always seem to get 'back together'. We're even 'married' on Facebook (her own initiative) despite everyone at school always asking her about it. She says she should be enjoying her teens and that I'm too controlling and maybe I am, but I don't ask for anything I don't give. I hardly even talk to girls here. And Canadian girls are beautiful. There's a Canadian Jewish girl who likes me a lot and she lives just a province away, but I haven't seen her, I really love my 'girlfriend'. I've tried to be without her before, but this 'relationship' is unlike any I've ever had and perhaps will ever have. I have family who served in Egypt's four wars with Israel, but I stopped believing in Islam when I was 14 and I am a strong supporter of Israel. I would much rather have been born Jewish than Muslim. I'm more Jewish than a lot of Jews, I even sing Hatikvah perfectly. :$ I've impressed every Jew I've met, ha ha. I think if I take on the burden of going to Israel and spending a good $3,500, she can at least stay committed to me for that time. I'm also afraid that if I 'let' her date, she'll find someone else and the Most Unique Relationship in History will end before it could begin. But I also understand her loneliness and her frustration about the screen (I feel it too) and sometimes I feel, better my pain than hers. What am I supposed to do? :-(
Asked By: - 10/22/2010
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Oh wow! Lots of stuff going on here! I think you might like the idea of being with her because its taboo more than just being with her. You've never even met her, how do you know you love her... More
Answered By: Amz - 10/22/2010
Additional Answers (2)
If you love something you have to let it go, if its meant to by it will come back to you....
Answered By: Tiffany - 10/22/2010
First of all a long distance relationship is hard but its possible to work if both are willing to put in the time, effort and the rest that is needed to make it work. I couldn't help but notice the age difference. You're a grown man and she's a teenager I'm not judging but I'm just saying how much can you possibly have... More
Answered By: butterfly - 10/22/2010
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