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I feel as though my life is fading. I need help please!?

First I am a boy. I really want to be a girl. I feel that i am a girl being tortured in a boy's body. There is so much I could say about what I feel that I want with being a girl. The problem is i Don't want a sex change because I know it will ruin my life. I don't know who to tell I don't trust Anyone to treat me the same way. I have no idea what i can do. I sometimes act a little too girl to some people but know one realizes it though. Also I am just a teen but I feel as each day goes on my life is fading away like its getting worse and worse. I really don't know what to do except for how can I get over this problem or ignore it? Im not sure what I should do. If u have a suggestion please tell me with detail. Last thing do not put any mean comments please!

Asked By: a boy or more - 11/3/2010
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I hate to say this, but if you are in puberty, there is a ticking clock over your head. Every day that goes by, your body is getting masculinized. Here's what happens if you block puberty (yes, you can stop it in its tracks with blockers and then have the other puberty with estrogen):

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&source=imghp&biw=1680&bih=804&q=kim+petras&gbv=2&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&gs_rfai=

That's Kim Petras. She got on blockers and hormones at 12 and had surgery at 16 -- the youngest ever. But even if you don't start as young as her, you can turn out great.

I know how terrified you are of people finding out. The horror of how people will react. The desperate hope that you'll get over it (answer: that doesn't happen). Don't believe that I understand? Here's my story:

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2010/8/20/894744/-As-A-Fourth-Grader,-I-Prayed-For-A-Tumor

Sound more than a little familiar? I tried to hide it inside me. And kept it inside until 19 before I finally broke down. And that was so, SO stupid of me. I lost my chance to live my teenage years as a girl and suffered huge irreversible damage to my body, and for what? I *still* had to go through coming out to everyone, except by then, I had even more people I had to come out to. It doesn't get any easier with time. If you manage to hold off until your 30s or 40s before breaking down, like some of my friends did, then you break up marriages, lose children, lose jobs, etc.

You write "i don't want a sex change because I know it will ruin my life". That is EXACTLY what I was terrified of. That if ANYONE ever knew how I felt, I'd be rejected by everyone I cared about and live as an unloved freak for the rest of my life. That terror caused me to do nothing in panic while my body was destroyed. And it wasn't even remotely true. My mother's first reaction? "Honey, why didn't you tell me sooner?!" She felt so bad I had been suffering and she hadn't been able to support me. My father took it harder; it took him about a year to come to accept it. But he gave me away at my wedding, and today goes to national LGBT rights dinners, and made his company one of the most LGBT-friendly in the industry. We've never been closer. I've been successful in business and basically living the American dream.... *as myself*. In a body that makes me *smile* every time I see myself in the mirror. Of all my friends, I only lost one in coming out, and that was only temporary. I never ever would have guessed that.

It's so, so hard to come out. But it's not going to get easier. You're just going to suffer until your depression *forces* you out in *much* worse circumstances.

Above all, you need to stop your puberty. I mean, I can't stress this enough. You don't want to keep becoming masculinized, do you? A therapist can get you hormone blockers. You can even get them online, although it's tricky. But whatever you do, please, don't make yourself go through irreversible changes. You'll suffer just like I did and live with the regret that you didn't do anything sooner.

Please... if there's anything I can do to help you, email me. That's why I'm here. I've gone through it all before.
Answered By: Nafnlaus - 11/3/2010
Additional Answers ()
I think you should talk to someone even if its just a guidance counselor. yahoo isnt the best place for the good advice you need :(

but just remember the harder you push through it now, the better the payoff will feel in the future
Answered By: Callie - 11/3/2010
Just be who you are. true Friends will come along sooner or later. and just be friendly to people but dont be wird. people will understand who who really are. But you should go see a therapist not a website.
Answered By: Rachel Rondo - 11/3/2010
First of all, i'm gonna say that im not a professional.
i would not tell anyone at school except a really close friend that is genuine and that you can trust. besides that, i would talk to the school counseller and try to work it out. if you tell others, word will get out and it'll just make it worse, because in truth, people are mean. they'll judge you for everything. if you don't wear the 'right' clothes, makeup, have crappy hair, etc etc. this is serious and you must talk to your parents about it. they love you and will understand. no matter what you believe, they will understand. im not gonna lie, they may be a little shocked, but they love you for who you are. please please please do not ignore it! you need help asap. if you feel like a girl trapped in a boy's body, i would talk to your parents about the matter and consider getting a sex change. don't feel like a 'freak' or 'weird'. keep your spirits up and do things you like, like swimming, singing, drawing, basketball, anything. build confidence. but yeah, deff talk to your parents and maybe a school counselor. i hope everything works out okay!

and if you need to talk anytime, email on yahoo.
Answered By: jujubeesxD - 11/3/2010
I see your predicament. You truely need to be you ! whatever it takes, just always be you.. Were all different in so many ways.Your life isn't fading , it's just beginning. Keep true to yourself.The family will adjust.Believe me, they will.It will be harder on you to wait and continue to hide these feelings as you just being you. Your not wrong and you need to speak to a psychiatrist, not because your crazy, but the exact opposite.He/ she would be able to difuse the situation and explain this process to you and your family.They and you need counceling..It will calm the waters.Things aren't as bad as you think. You have said you have been acting like a girl, so they might know by now. Be sweet and true to yourself.Everyone else is just that! not you.
Answered By: Mel - 11/3/2010
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