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Can you proof read this cover letter and advice me?

This is a cover letter for a recruitment agency specialised in the hospitality industry I cant apply for a certain position as I don't have relevant experience. Please read it and tell me what u think about it Thank you.. Dear …, I am writing to inquire whether your recruitment agency can assist me in my career enhancement. Following my graduation in 2008 I joined the family-owned business where I handled different positions of responsibility and my organizational and communication skills were put to the test. However after evaluating my skill sets and my interests I am now looking to expand my professional horizons by building my own career in the hospitality industry with a preference for the hotel sector. I am confident that my previous experiences and willingness to adapt to a new way of thinking will enable me to become a valued member of an organization’s team. During my last work experience as a supervisor for (the company) my responsibilities covered everything from participating to the recruitment process, supervising operational tasks to solving problems. My duties were varied and ever changing; and thrived in an environment in which I strengthened my skill sets of customer service, communications, organization, leadership, and team playing diligence to the success of the company. Furthermore, I have a strong desire to learn and flexibility to work with different people; assets that would be valuable to any company. For these reasons, I am ready for the next step of progression, to gain not just a position but to start an entire career in the hospitability industry and undergoing a training program such as an internship to further my capabilities is a possibility I have considered. I have pleasure in enclosing my CV and I look forward to hearing from you soon. I can be contacted by email at ..... or by phone… Thank you for your assistance. Yours sincerely, My name

Asked By: - 12/29/2010
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Vague and too long. Try something like... More
Answered By: anonimitie - 12/29/2010
Additional Answers (1)
While your letter does have relevant and specific informaton, it is a little long. I would keep the cover letter to three paragraphs... More
Source(s):
Answered By: NNN - 12/29/2010
 
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