I'm stuck between my family, my boyfriend and myself? Please give me your opinion?
First off, I come from a small immigrant family. We've been in the states for about 13 years now, so I consider being grown up over here. We're a pretty traditional, conservative, religious family. I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 years now; we met in high school and started dating towards the end. In the past 4 years, we've been long distance...I went to college in state while he moved away to another state and got a job. The biggest issue (besides the long distance) is that we're an interracial, inter cultural and inter religious couple....obviously, the 2 of us are totally ok with it but my parents are dead set against it. They would rather see me die than be with him. We kept our relationship a secret for a long time until they found out about it and forced me to break up with him...which I pretended to do but never did. Until recently we kept it under covers....couple months ago, I came out and told my parents about him and that I wanted to move to his city and put off grad school for a year. They freaked out...the whole family went through hell over this issue. My boyfriend even came and tried to talk to them but they cried, begged, yelled at me, beat me, tried to calmly talk to me but I was completely stuck on the idea. My dad pulled out a knife and threatened to stab himself if I didn't break it off. So what did I do? I told them that I broke up (which I have not done) and abandoned the idea of going to live w/ my bf (which sorta created tension between us..but we worked past it)....instead I went to grad school in another state. I figured it's best for me to be my own person before I physically settle down with someone. My boyfriend and I have a real relationship...it's not that we're playing around, we work really hard at our relationship because it's so challenging with the distance and parents but we really love each other.....when I'm with him, I laugh and feel happy. I'm a very "business" type of person, but he brings out the lighter side of me. I can't even describe how right our relationship feels. All my parents see is a guy who's not south asian, doesn't have a college degree (he plans on it when I move closer to him), not good looking (beauty is in the eye of the beholder) and has a broken family (his parents are divorced...not that's not his fault). Recently my mom saw that I commented on his picture (i thought I had limited her from my profile) and she freaked out thinking I'm trying to start up things with him again. She's begging me and telling me how she'll die with this on her mind and I'll have to suffer through my life knowing I made my parents upset. She's afraid I'm fall behind on my grad studies too b/c of this...(and I somehow managed to do very well in undergrad while being in a long distance relationship and the stress from them? hmm doesn't make sense) Honestly I'm so tired of all this...I just want to tell them "this is what I'm doing...deal with it" but it's so harsh...i feel like my parents will try to kill themselves. They're just getting used to the idea of me being in another state, on my own. I don't know what to do, please give me your opinion Thanks No, I'm not from a christian or muslim family. My parents think he's "brainwashed" me...they can't believe that their nice, innocent daughter could have her own ideas and wishes. SMH
Asked By: Sunshine - 8/25/2011
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
It is as simple as deciding if your life is yours or if you are the slave of your parents belonging to them as if you were an object. I assume you live in the USA, you do not say so I will assume it, and the USA is a melting pot. People know this when they come here and to expect to be able to remain within your own... More
Answered By: 1540 - 8/25/2011
Additional Answers (5)
be with ur bf. ur family will have to get over it
Answered By: Kelcie Isevil - 8/25/2011
Threatening to stab oneself is a deeply hypocritical thing for a parent to do... More
Answered By: Rukifellth - 8/25/2011
Unless you plan on marrying this kid, let him go.
Answered By: Jack Napier - 8/25/2011
Your story truly breaks my heart. This is truly a good man to stick by you through all of this and I would advise you to stay with him. If your parents have such a problem with being with someone different than they are, why did they move to the states. I think it is terrible what your parents are doing to you. I'm... More
Answered By: David - 8/25/2011
I say pray about it in seek God for direction in you will never go wrong!At some point in your life you are going to have to make your own decisions.
Answered By: Chatrivia K - 8/25/2011
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