Need help asap! Having marital issues...?
I'm just after abit of advice. I'm really starting to resent my oh and its affecting our relationship to the point that I don't even wana sleep in the same bed as him. He goes out wenever he likes yet if I want a night out I have to give him a weeks notice. He works full time hours plus nights on the weekend so wenever there's an oppertunity to see my mates unless I give enuf notice I can't go so I only get to see my friends like once a month if I'm lucky, they work during the week so weekends is the only time we can catch up but I never get a nite out. My needs are always put last, I don't even hav a handbag atm, it got ruined but coz my pay goes on the important things I never hav enuf to buy a new one even tho my oh gets paid double wat I do and never pays his bills on time so he always has spare money but puts me on a guilt trip wen I ask for some and its not specifically for our lo. He drives, I don't, I don't blame him for me not being able to drive but it doesn't help how I've bin feeling as he can just get in the car and go wen he wants but I hav to work around bus schedules and the weather. His only job at home is to do the dishes but can never manage to them more than once a week and he thinks coz I'm the SAHM that even wen he's home its my job to do everything, he never cooks or helps with the laundry and there's a bag of rubbish in our room I asked him to throw out weeks ago and its still there. I love him but my resentments are growing stronger and I feel like I'm guna snap. He never does anything romantic but it'll get to 2am and he'll be asking for sex. He doesn't even try seducing me he just asks do I wana hav sex. I've spoken to him afew times about the sex and romance yet nothing changes and wen I being up me wanting time with friends we just end up arguing coz he doesn't get all that much time to chill with mates but he works with his closest friends and he owns the business so they talk shit and play games on pc every day whereas I don't even get that, I hav to fight for one night once in a blue moon. It took over a year of asking him to spend quality time with our lo for him to start taking her out one arvo a week. I feel like I'm the only one trying. I understand he works alot but to me that's no excuse to not do the dishes and certainly no excuse for not even trying to be romantic. His idea of romance is exchanging a back massage for sex, I need more than that. He leaves it till the last minute and gets stroppy wen I say no coz I wana get some sleep. I'm spending more and more nights on the couch coz wen I wake up next to him I wake up shitty coz of my resentments. I know I'm not perfect and he may get shitty with me at times but I'm at my wits end with all this. I wana stay with him but if nothing changes I just won't be able to... Wen I asked him to organise pest control to come round he lied and said he booked it but he never made the call, he was just hoping I wouldn't be organised for the appt, which I wasn't so asked him to cancel and then I found he had never called them to begin with, his phone had no record of the calls but he still rekons he called them (bullshit if u ask me). I really don't know wat to do, I booked us into mediation counselling but he made plans wen the appt was so we couldn't go. If anyone could give some advice I would very much appreciate it. Thanks. And before anyone says why don't I just take the rubbish out, its the principle. If I do it again this time he'll never bother doing as I ask coz he'll know I'll just do it if he doesn't.... And I can't just go out wen I want coz I hav a 3yr old to worry about. I don't hav anyone to look after her so i hav to stay home.
Asked By: - 9/12/2011
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
My ex was like that - among numerous other things... More
Answered By: Shay - 9/12/2011
Additional Answers (4)
You married a selfish, immature, juvenile little child... More
Answered By: craig b - 9/12/2011
My best advice would be to go out with your friends, he does not own you, you are married to him, that does not make you his property. No one owns anyone, marriage is not an owner ship. I would just tell him, i am going out with my friends and leave. Than I would go see an attorney and get a divorce. He is lazy, he... More
Answered By: Ellie - 9/12/2011
Sad part is I was just like your spouse And she left me now I relize whats important and wish I could of took it all back leave and if he dont change then make your choice
Answered By: daddy of the year - 9/12/2011
It sounds to me like you just really need a regular break right now (to start), and I think you need to give him notice "now" that you'll be taking the 3rd Saturday of every single month...then get a calendar and put your day on it, circle it in red, and put stars around it. Then, find a friend, or family member, and... More
Answered By: Sarah - 9/12/2011
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